Long-term depression

@parus - and a good one at that! Teresa

I hear you

Nature is a refuge for me also. Although it's mostly taking photos through my computer room window of the little critters. Felt really bad for this squirrel with a botfly tumor on his neck...never thought I would feel bad for a squirrel, have so many of them running around the yard.

I am not a fan of the bushy-tailed rodents-yet if I see one suffering I do feel sad. I was aggressively attacked by one early one morning and this concerned me as squirrels are not typically aggressive-rabies? Nope, someone was feeding them fruitloops-sugar withdrawal. Now, this in my opinion is cruel...I realize they are cute...going to feed them feed them something healthy and does not turn them into aggressive beasts-any wonder children behave aggressively when they do not get their sugar?

Long term, treatment resistant depression is a challenge, add chronic pain to the mix and there are many having a hard time getting the help they need. Once one has a diagnosis in the mental health system it is difficult to get any MD to take a physical diagnosis seriously. Trying to navigate the hoops is becoming overwhelming and being old certainly does not help.

Not one given to self-pity and always an active person-I oft do wonder what else there is to offer anyone...I have 5 grand children and want to spend time w/ them...just cannot do so.

I am thankful as I am still ambulatory and can still drive even though there are times I just cannot and trying to plan for anything is difficult as I don't know from one day to the next when my physical body will be cooperative...this exacerbates the depression and it becomes an endless cycle of trying resulting in times I don't want to even try...there are days I do not.

I oft do wonder is there any purpose left? Yet, I am far better off than many and I endeavor to be thankful. I would much rather be working.

@parus You express your feelings/thoughts very well in spite of depression - my guess is that you might have been an English teacher at one time or perhaps an avid reader, at least. I appreciate your sharing. Aging does tend to add to the difficulties we encounter and does make it hard, although not impossible, to work towards a better life. Teresa

I do have non-feline and -rodent "window" buddies too. Some of them even give me the look. ☺

Iam a 71 year old woman with depression and panic/anxiety. When your children are grown and gone, you began to wonder what your purpose is. When my mother died in 2009, i lost my purpose which was taking care of her. That is when i sunk into my 2nd depression. 8 years later, iam now in a depression/ anxiety again. You are not alone.

Hi Annie .... like you, I am a 72 year old woman, 3 grown independent children, and I'm divorced. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was a teen, but of course I didn't realize why I felt "different" from everyone else. Well, I am now moving to an apartment closer to my kids (my 2 daughters - my son is about 3 hours away). They are SO excited .... I'm OK .... it's better than where I am now. Before in MD I had my own condo, was totally independent, came and went as I pleased and felt like a real person ..... now that I'm here - not so much. I have been in therapy for 20 years (horrible history), and see a psychiatrist every 2 months for medications. Even with all that, I find no reason to be alive. Now don't misunderstand me, I love my family, I'm very healthy except for a TKR about 3 years ago, so I should be grateful ..... so why can't I see that ..... why do I always think about death and dying? I truly feel that God put me on this earth to break the family cycles of alcoholism, physical and sexual abuse, and adultery. So, for that I'm thankful as I did, but now what? I don't know. Everyone says "get out there, get a job, blah, blah, blah," and I probably will look for a part time job once I get into my new apt. I just don't feel there's any reason for me to be around anymore. You're not alone my friend ...... I'll pray for you, and for myself as well.
abby

This is my third depression in the last 19 years. This round is definitely the worst. I have been battling depression and terrible Anxiety for almost 10 months. Some one told me along the way that it gets worse the older you get. I really hope i can get through this one. At the age of 71 it is scary. Iam lucky as i have my husband, daughter, and grandaughter close to me. I feel bad because i have so much to be thankful for and this depression and anxiety just drags me down. I also have trouble tolerating some of the drugs that would really help me. One of my antidepressants i have been on for 9 years. Its not working like it should and it use to really work good. I find i also think alot about death and dying too. My best friend killed herself and i felt terrible because i couldnt stop her. I could never put my family through that but sometimes you just think about it. Than another thing i think about is what if you screwed up your attempt to take your life, and you ended up a half living person that everyone had to take care of. That scares me too. Its nice to talk to someone my age.

@anniegk I am not so far behind as I am 65. Being a survivor of suicide is tough. My father used an ounce of lead to his head-my mother blamed me in front of others when I was told to go in an comfort her. What more can I say? I know what this type of thing did to me and I would not to do the same to my 3 adult children and then ask myself what difference does it make as I am of little use to them and, yes, depression is a liar. I know the guilt I have carried all of these years and would not want my children to carry this kind of pain even though I think about it and I don't want to either.

I will agree that depression does worsen with age...

Thank you for sharing. I live alone, but can still drive and walk. Could be worse is what I remind myself often.

I enjoy green and growing things as long as they are not in my frig.

I know the flowers help me and they appreciate all I do for them. I will share some of my smiling faces.