Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there’s nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It’s “We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don’t bother me – but we love you!” I’m old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can’t ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can’t rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don’t see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn’t get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn’t agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

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So sorry for your loss @french. I hope you have some support in your community. I am happy for the support we get here on Connect.

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@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can’t rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don’t see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn’t get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn’t agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

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@french you are a very strong person. You have had to cope with the worse nightmare any parent fears…the loss of a child. Plus so many other sad things in you life. You definitely have my support…((HUGS))

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Gentle ((Hugs)) anniep. You are not alone.

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@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can’t rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don’t see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn’t get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn’t agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

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@french

I’d say that your plate is more than full! It’s overflowing.

Suicide is an incredibly difficult experience for the family still living. I don’t know how it compares with a son dying of cancer, and I’d like to know about that. I think I’ll ask my therapist. Either one has its challenges. I’m surely sorry that you’re having to go through that dark valley.

Losing someone to suicide is hard for a mentally healthy person, and would probably bring with it depression. Being depressed to begin with makes it exponentially more difficult. Again, I express my sympathy. Others in the groups I follow share the same experience, and all of them wear permanent scars.

I know the difficulty in landing on the right combination of meds. It’s never a cut and dried thing. It surely took a long time for me, but I seem to have found the combination that works for me. It does happen eventually. It’s good that you have a psychiatrist with whom you’re comfortable.

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@french

I can relate to you, as you get older, my depression, long term gets harder. I would only see my docter every six months. My chronic fibromyalgia, SAD, and I can’t rule out genetic. A horrible tragedy, my 49 yr. daughter took her life almost seven years, will be in December, fractured our family. My oldest son is in nursing home with bipolar, and med induced kidney damage, and diabetes. So my family really is really limited, other son lives out of town, and we don’t see him, he has a daughter with a learning disability, his wife is a lovely person, coping with Crohn, and other daughter now. He didn’t get therapy when he lost his sister, and drinking became a problem. I see him once or twice a year. His plate is full.

This past year my fatigue and anxiety is a huge problem. I have an excellent psychiatrist but had to change anti-depressant and any anti-anxiety med doesn’t agree with me. It has been a difficult journey when you lose a child, in this manner you never do get back to your former self.

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@french French, My heart really goes out to you. You must be stronger than you know. You have suffered a great loss with your daughter’s passing; and then continued heartache with your sons. I have a daughter, 30 yrs old, with bipolar, she thinks of suicide often. I know the trials and worries you have been through in your life with just dealing with your children’s mental health issues. I hope you are feeling better soon. Big Hug, Terri

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@magspierce

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious…I don’t know. But anyway, it’s worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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@magspierce, @sharlynn62 NAMI is a wonderful organization. My husband and myself took the 12 week Family to Family course (free) so that we could learn more about mental illness for my daughter’s sake. She has bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. My husband is her stepdad and he never understood the disorders. He always thought she was just spoiled, or faking it, and should just snap out of it. his favorite saying was “She just needs to get over it.” I wanted to strangle him so many times for saying that. The course was a real eye opener for him. I learned a lot also. To this day, I cannot get my daughter to go into therapy or get on medication. She is getting more odd by the week. She lives 7 hours from me, so it is hard to be with her much. On the upside, she does hold down a steady job and has for years. She just started a new job 3 months ago and loves it. She had two psychotic breaks while at her last job (while on the job) she was with that company for 7 years and had an understanding boss thank goodness. I was going to a support for awhile. Will get back into it again at some point. Have too much going on right now. For all of you that suffer from this; you have my heart. Hugs, Terri

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@magspierce

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious…I don’t know. But anyway, it’s worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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Hi @windwalker Terri! Thank you for sharing, I’m glad that you and your husband went through the Family 2 Family class and benefited from it, and your husband having a better understanding of the illness. I haven’t taken it, don’t have any children dealing with mental illness, but two very good friends of mine teaches the class and I understand/and from what I know it’s very helpful. Sorry to hear about your daughter, I do hope with this new job things will settle down for her and it goes well for her.
I hope things settle down for you guys too and you can get back into the support group.

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@magspierce

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious…I don’t know. But anyway, it’s worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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Hi Terri, I agree with you about NAMI…

NAMI was our lifeline many 30+ years ago when our son went through some mental health issues. We were at the end of our ropes and just trying to hold ourselves together for him when we found the local NAMI support group. Our son was 12 at the time and had already spent a year in and out of the hospital and Mayo Clinic with not much help. He was eventually transferred to a state facility and was there for six months. We thought it was the end of the world at the time but the social worker at the state hospital told us their goal is to help the patients live a productive and as normal as possible life. It was not to keep them there forever. NAMI gave us the strength we needed with there support group meetings and allowed us to discuss our concerns with other parents with the same problems.

John

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@magspierce

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious…I don’t know. But anyway, it’s worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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@johnbishop How is your son doing now John?

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@magspierce

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious…I don’t know. But anyway, it’s worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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Hi Terri (@windwalker), Thank you for asking. He’s 47 now and doing really good. Medications and treatments in general have greatly improved over the past 30 years. He’s able to function with the medication he’s taking and has been at the same job for about 20 years so that in itself has been a blessing.

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@magspierce

Happy to see this thread about NAMI. I agree, the support groups & educational classes are very helpful. I am involved in my local affiliate.
@sharlynn62 I am sorry that your Connection group is not running. I would like to suggest to let them know again that you are interested. Look at it as another step in your recovery to be assertive. I say this because I have to remind myself to be more assertive too. You never know, when you shared that you were interested in leading before, they might not have been in a good place themselves & possibly not thought about it really. Or perhaps they might not have thought you were really serious…I don’t know. But anyway, it’s worth another try. Good luck and I hope more become interested in having the Connection support group as well, or maybe recruit members? Just a thought. I just saw that your posted this in April, sorry. I hope things are different by now and you are doing well. Mags

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@johnbishop John, that is wonderful!

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I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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Hello @mlbaler, Welcome to Mayo Clinic connect. Thank you for posting to the group.

You will notice that I moved your post to an existing conversation taking place already.

I would like to introduce you to members @windwalker, @anniegk, @magspierce, @french– all members who are also here looking to talk with someone who “has been there”.

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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Hi @mlbaier Sorry you have had so much going on, emotionally and physically. So sorry you are feeling lonely, that can be the worst. Going through all your medical & mental issues and feeling lonely. You’ve come to the right place, Mayo Connect is a great site to have discussions like this and reach out to others who have or are going through similar things you are. You are not alone! I haven’t done the biofeedback, or seen a naturopathic doctor, and haven’t been to Johns Hopkins, but those all sound promising. I do deal with anxiety and chronic depression too, and at times I get to feeling very low & lonely, and have to remind myself that I need to make contact with friends/family, even if just to say hi and check in with them can help me feel a little better and I’m not in that dark hole. I also do a lot of writing and that helps, and coloring relaxes me and helps me get through the rough times when I’m not up to talking with or being around anyone. I wish you luck and best wishes to feeling better soon!

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