Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there’s nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It’s “We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don’t bother me – but we love you!” I’m old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can’t ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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@mlbaier Hi there, do you have a first name? Welcome to our forum. I am sorry you are having such a tough time. I have heard that meds can become ineffective over time and then new combinations have to be worked out. That has to be very frustrating. I knew someone who got licensed to do bio-feedback. I was her gunia pig while she went through training. I thought it was pretty miraculous. She hooked me up with electrodes and did an entire body reading. Without knowing anything about me, her tests were spot on. It even detected a recent rotator cuff injury! I don’t know much about how it works, but I think it is fascinating. One of my favorite authors, Dr. Andrew Weil, backs up and recommends this as treatment for many ailments. How many sessions of biofeedback have you had?

Johns Hopkins is supposed to be one of the best institutions. I hope they can help you. You may have heard of a new(ish) treatment for depression where they use magnetic resonance, and get positive results. Had you heard of it?

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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That is interesting @windwalker! I’ve not heart about the magnet resonance, I’ll have to ask my therapist about it. I’ve heard that the bio-feedback was good, that is something that it picked up the rotator cuff injury. Sounds good!

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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@rick807

Rick, yeah, I’m there sometimes. Therapists have told me I’m the best mask wearer they’ve seen. I reached the point of realizing that I would end my life if I didn’t tell someone about who was behind the mask. Actually, I had already made several attempts by that time. Pretending drains the life out of a person. Secrets kept for decades eat away at the soul.

I know that I wouldn’t be alive today without the help of a string of therapists and doctors. I always recommend finding one somehow. I went through 18 months without one, and by the end of last year, at 15 months, I was very depressed and becoming suicidal. I made it through the next few months just because I was told a therapist was moving here. He saved my life. That was 5 months ago, and I think I’ve been a challenging client. Poor guy.

When I got around to reading my email, I saw you had cried for help 4 hours before. I wonder if you are in a better place now. Life is so hard sometimes. The last 12+ years have been a rough journey for me, so I can empathize with how you’re feeling now. Let me know if you want to talk about anything. I’ll be thinking about you, Rick.

Jim

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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My name is Mary. I have had 14 treatments of biofeedback but there are several types. I am trying a new one. I had the same tests done by the naturopathic doctor. They are amazing. I got so bad yesterday I am calling to see about inpatient treatment at Johns Hopkins. It is three hours away and I have to have my doctor call them and then wait. I have not heard of the mri but I have to put my faith in them.

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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Hello Mary, @mlbaier

Thank you for the update. Continuing to wish you well!

Will you keep us posted on how you are feeling?

Teresa

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I too have had depression and anxiety for over 2 years. I no longer have any interests or have anything to look forward to. I ask my friends and family what gives them joy and they have a nice long list. I have nothing. I see people smile and laugh and I want that so badly. I am on medication and I have therapy once a week. I want my joy back and I miss the old me.
I hope things get better for you. Just know you are not alone.

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Hi, @brenda61, and welcome to the Mayo Clinic Connect community. Sounds like it’s been a tough road with the anxiety and depression, especially feeling that there is nothing to look forward to right now.

You mentioned going to weekly therapy. What does your therapist say about how you are feeling currently?

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Hi Lisa, She just listens to me talk or cry, then says it is hard. She encourages me to get out more. I do manage to work but getting out of the house for anything else is very difficult.

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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how do I find someone that I can trust ? I would love to find someone to really talk to

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@brenda61

I too have had depression and anxiety for over 2 years. I no longer have any interests or have anything to look forward to. I ask my friends and family what gives them joy and they have a nice long list. I have nothing. I see people smile and laugh and I want that so badly. I am on medication and I have therapy once a week. I want my joy back and I miss the old me.
I hope things get better for you. Just know you are not alone.

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This so sounds like me. I am 61 and have spiraled down in the last 3 years. I have a successful business, wrote and published a book and am a pillar in the community. That was me before 61. I wish I could get back there. I don’t know what happened and have gone all different routes to find a solution. I think the best thing is to talk with people who are going through the same feelings and sometimes it is hard because I get my spells late at night. Medication can help but keep up the therapy and get involved in some support groups.

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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@rick807 You go slow. You can do research, and if you know of anyone else who is seeing a therapist ask them about their experience with their therapist. When you find someone you think you want to see, make an appointment. At your appointment you don’t have to talk about everything, wouldn’t have time anyway. 🙂 But just talk about what you feel comfortable saying, after a few appointments of doing this, as you do this probably each time you see them you may get more of a sense of if it is someone you can work with. I say work with, because that’s what it is, it takes work to talk about your feeling and issues, and I always do “homework”, writing, drawing, and coloring. After your first appointment, you may already know if you don’t think it will work out. Don’t give up, keep trying till you find someone you feel comfortable with and feel that they care and that they are there to help you. Good luck, and keep posting on here!

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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It is the hardest thing putting your trust in someone but pray that the right person will be there for you. The best places to start are churches and ministries. They have a confidentially responsibility.

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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thank you for taking the time to answer me.

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Hi everybody ….. I’ve been out of town for several days and honestly didn’t have time to read all your e-mails. I’m sorry. Yes, long term depression is miserable, almost a curse. My therapist and Psychiatrist both believe that my mother had bi-polar and medicated herself with alcohol, which eventually killed her at age 60. It seems I have Cyclothymia, a milder form of bi-polar, with the strongest part being the depression. My “manic” isn’t manic at all ….. it’s just feeling good. And someone wrote if there were side effects from withdrawing from an antidepressant. I can give this a definite yes. I had been taking Zoloft for about 2 years (long time ago), and decided to “wean myself” off of it. I “thought” I was doing it slowly ….. 1/2 tablet every 4 days is what I reduced it by. Well, by the time I was down to 1 tablet (I was taking 2 at the time, my head felt very odd, and somehow my sense of perspective was lost ….. I would walk into walls with my feet, misjudge things, and a variety of other things. So, I called my Psychiatrist at that time, told him, and he said to slowly increase it again which I did. But, it never had the same strength of effect that it did before I did that.
I hope you are all doing OK …. I was in MD to see my therapist and my Psychiatrist … I drive there every 2 weeks to see my therapist and my Psychiatrist I see every 2 months for med. checks. But, anytime I need them before those times, all I have to do is call.
abby

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@brenda61

Hi Lisa, She just listens to me talk or cry, then says it is hard. She encourages me to get out more. I do manage to work but getting out of the house for anything else is very difficult.

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@brenda61 Hi Brenda. Even a walk around the block can sometimes help to change your mood. If I do not get out of the house for an entire day, I start to feel yicky.

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