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This is my third depression in the last 19 years. This round is definitely the worst. I have been battling depression and terrible Anxiety for almost 10 months. Some one told me along the way that it gets worse the older you get. I really hope i can get through this one. At the age of 71 it is scary. Iam lucky as i have my husband, daughter, and grandaughter close to me. I feel bad because i have so much to be thankful for and this depression and anxiety just drags me down. I also have trouble tolerating some of the drugs that would really help me. One of my antidepressants i have been on for 9 years. Its not working like it should and it use to really work good. I find i also think alot about death and dying too. My best friend killed herself and i felt terrible because i couldnt stop her. I could never put my family through that but sometimes you just think about it. Than another thing i think about is what if you screwed up your attempt to take your life, and you ended up a half living person that everyone had to take care of. That scares me too. Its nice to talk to someone my age.
Replies to "This is my third depression in the last 19 years. This round is definitely the worst...."
I would not ever discuss how I truly feel with my family. They only see the sunny side of me as they nor anyone else needs to know about how I truly feel. I can present very well with "smiling depression".
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I'm sorry you're going through this. I have had clinical depression and high anxiety for years and have been on medication. All antidepressants don't work or they need to be changed over time. Discuss this with your doctor. A religious person may also help with regard to your issues with suicide, but you MUST get treatment. I have felt like you last year and it went on for 8 mos. I also thought of death and dying. Unfortunately, I have other medical issues and it's hard to balance them all. Also, I'm 71 and single with no children or close by relatives. If you have a good friend who really cares it might help. Have you gone to psychotherapy? I know that can work and I plan to go back. You need to talk to someone and family sometimes aren't the best choice.