Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there’s nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It’s “We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don’t bother me – but we love you!” I’m old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can’t ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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I just read your post about battling depression and taking medications that don’t seem to help. Your entire post could have been written by me. I too have battled depression all of my life. I presently am taking Effexor and have been on it for quite a while. I think I am going to call my doctor and see if we can “try” another drug…but I am not hopeful. I’ve been on SO many different medications and they seem to work for a long time pretty well but then just seem to not help at all any more. Presently I am not seeing a psychiatrist…been there done that for SO many years. Spent two different stays at a psych hospital (locked in my room at night….such a HORRIBLE feeling!) I know this is not any encouragement to you but perhaps it will help to know that you are not alone. I will pray for you and hope you choose to write back. ~Sharon

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Sharon, @misssharon and @magspierce

You have both shared your feelings beautifully with @mlbaier and most of all you have encouraged her to keep posting and talking!

Teresa

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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@misssharon Sorry to read that your medications aren’t working. I hope you do call your doctor to ask about trying another one. I too, have taken a lot of different ones over the years, but I know there are much more out there that I haven’t tried. With me it was the same, they’d work for a long while, then seemed to stop working. I am on two different ones at this time and they have been working. One was one I’ve been on for several years and seem to be working the best for me. When I hit a rough spot and it didn’t seem to be working any longer, my doctor added another one that is a lower dose and works to help with anxiety and I’ve been doing well on them for about 3 years now. You mention that you aren’t seeing a psychiatrist now, but you don’t say if you are in therapy with any other psychologist or counselor. It took me about 35 years to find one who I felt comfortable with and we were a good “fit”. I’ve been going to her for over 4 yrs now and have had so much growth and healing because she had “guided” me work on my issues. By that I mean, she would give me homework to work on an issue that is disturbing me at that time. Now, I do my homework on my own in between appointments and that it to her and share with her. This is the first time that I have really gotten in there and work on my issues, always before it was just “talk therapy”, which is good to do at times, but for me, I wasn’t really working to figure out why I was going through the depression. Sorry, this is so long, I guess I just want to encourage you to keep looking to find a therapist who you feel comfortable with and has your best interest in mind. I believe that taking antidepressants and therapy work together in your recovery.
I also wanted to ask if you are in any support groups for depression, etc? I have a local NAMI (national alliance on mental illness), and even though I don’t share all my issues at the meetings, it helps to talk with others who have gone through if not the same thing you are, then similar things that the feelings are very similar. For one thing, you know you are not alone and that there are people who understand what you are going through. I hope you can get your medication figured out and start to feel better very soon, I know it can be debilitating at times when you aren’t on a medication that works for you or a combination that work for you. Take care and know you are not alone! Feel better soon!

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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I am seeing a therapist which I have seen for 10 years. It is very hard to get a psychiatrist in this area. My therapist knows a lot about medications and also the naturopathic. I want to go to someone who performs Reiki. I understand this is a relief for anxiety. My anxiety is being brought on by feelings of abandonment from childhood. I suffered anorexia at age 19 when it was labeled malnutrition. I have those same feelings now. My mother passed away 4 years ago and my Dad is not doing well. I have written a book “Fear of Life” which I haven’t published yet. It is the struggle with anxiety no matter how you handle it for your life. I went from anorexia to bulimia and I am afraid I will do that again. In the middle of that are the hormones. I did find a wonderful website “hormonerestoration.com”. I am dealing with that doctor by e-mail. He says all of our feelings are governed by our gut and I do believe him. It is hard to do that when going through a panic attack. No matter how many friends you have it is still a very lonely place because they don’t understand. I am glad I found this site.

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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Hello @mlbaier. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. We are glad to have you here. I’m sorry to hear about your Mom and Dad.

I think you will find our community a safe place to talk with others about some of the same problems you face.

I have a family member that sees a Reiki therapist for anxiety and has had a wonderful response to it. Make sure you look into it. 🙂

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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I am feeling pretty low today. Can’t even get out of bed. Feel like crying anytime. No one calls or even stops by. I guess I have to be the first step. It is pretty tough today. I find it harder when my husband goes to work. I work out of my home and some days I have no clients. I used to read and walk but that is a chore now. I pray for someone to call when I am like this.

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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@mlbaier

Thanks for sharing your feelings with us today. Sometimes, just getting those feelings out in the open can be very helpful. I have learned one thing that I’d like to share with you: When your happiness depends on anyone other than yourself, you are setting yourself up for feeling unhappy. A proactive approach is most important for you right now.

I’d like to share a personal experience with you, the day before a major surgery I was feeling anxious. So I went through my church’s prayer list and sent 3 “thinking of you” cards to people who were on the prayer list. I felt much better after doing that.

Here are some thoughts: I realize that picking yourself up out of depression is easier said than done. Since you said, however, that you wish someone would call you, can you think of anyone that you could call right now and just admit to them that you need a little encouragement today? Or can you think of someone else that you could call who could use some encouragement today? Is it worth a try?

Teresa

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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That is a very good idea. I am going to call someone. Thank you for your words of encouragement. It has been 3 years of this and I am getting hopeless.

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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@mlbaier I’m glad to hear that you will give it a try.

Will you send us an update later today?

Teresa

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@mlbaier

I am 61. Over the last 2 years I have experienced severe anxiety mixed with depression. I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and given cortisol. I was also given creme hormones. Was on effexor for 15 years and it stopped working. My psychiatrist tried everything and all medicines work opposite for me. I was admitted for one week with no better outcome. I am doing biofeedback, seeing a naturopathic doctor and have an appt with Johns Hopkins but I am afraid I am at my wits end. I have no positive outlook on life. I think I have tried everything but would appreciate some feedback. I am very lonely

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@mlbaier So sorry you are having a bad day today! But I’m glad you are going to try Teresa’s suggestions, I know that those things have helped me when I’m feeling low or having a bad day. Hope you start feeling better soon! And just know, you are not alone!

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I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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My doctor once asked me if Iwas “superwoman” @rick807 to think I could be two people at one time. He said act like you feel and if anyone doesn’t agree or listen they arent your true frieds.

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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Hi @rick807 So sorry you are feeling so low. I hope that you are feeling at least a little better by now, just read your post. Do you have some coping skills that work for you when you are feeling so low. I understand when you say it feels like your head is going to explode, I have felt that way myself at times. And like you, I pretended like everything was ok for so many years. I got tired of it and decided to find a good therapist who I felt comfortable with and learned to trust to share my memories & feelings with. I knew that I needed to work on myself to get out of that place.
Think of the little things in your life & they will ad up. If you get out of bed, that’s a step. If you comb/brush your hair, that’s a step. If you shower and dress, that’s another. Brush your teeth, that’s another. All these little things that normally we don’t really think about, but doing them and telling yourself that you accomplished each step. Some days, you may only accomplish one of these things, other days more. But as long as you keep doing these things you are taking care of yourself. When we are really down, it is really important that we do “self care”.
Also, I have to tell myself that I am worth it. That I do make a difference. I don’t know what your support system is, but I hope you have family & friends who you can reach out to at times like this. It helps me to contact someone, even if I don’t tell them what is going on, it helps me feel better because I checked in on someone else.
Other things that help me are coloring, writing, and reading. I also listen to music, that helps too. I do hope you are feeling a little better and not so down. Let me know if you try any of these things and if they help.
You took the first step, you posted about how you are feeling, sometimes just getting it out will help. Take care and remember, you are not alone! We are all in this together.

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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I completely understand and will pray this feeling goes away for you. Your post brought up song lyrics from my memory bank of Bruce Springsteen’s “Promised Land.” “I’ve done my best to live the right way. I get up every morning and go to work each day. But your eyes go blind and your blood runs cold. Sometimes I feel so weak, I just want to explode …”

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@rick807

I’m so tired of pretending everything is ok.Sometimes it feels like my head gonna explode.I really dont know to do.Help

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I wanted to add, that it’s ok to feel that way. I mean, don’t beat yourself up for feeling that way. The more we tell ourselves that we shouldn’t feel so bad, then the worse we can feel, like a circle. When we allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling and know that things will get better, then it seems that it lessens the time we feel that way, or at least it does for me. I read something the other day, and now I can’t remember just what it was, but it was saying that storms don’t last forever. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings for now and know that it won’t last. I don’t know more about you or any issues, so I can only tell you what has worked for me. If nothing fits for you. that’s ok. Keep reaching out, there are a lot of people here on Mayo Connect who have gone through, if not the same things, then similar. But a lot of our feelings are the same.

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