1. < Depression & Anxiety

Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there's nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It's "We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don't bother me - but we love you!" I'm old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can't ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

gracemary | @gracemary | Apr 8, 2017
In reply to @kanaazpereira "Hello @gracemary, I'd like to welcome you to Connect, and before anything else, let you know..." + (show)
@kanaazpereira

Hello @gracemary,

I'd like to welcome you to Connect, and before anything else, let you know that you are not alone as you will see from the community here.
I'm tagging @tabi @amberpep @pamelacelia @georgette12 @dott @piglit @bettyann @athome @roxie43 @callalily74 @guener @lesbatts @iamkaren @quazar, who I'm certain will join in to share their stories and experiences with you.

I would also encourage you to look at some other discussions in Mental Health:

Depression and anxiety: Exercise eases symptoms
http://mayocl.in/2dcJB7p
Depression — Let’s snap out of expecting to snap out of it
http://mayocl.in/2i59kQf
Is counseling helpful?
http://mayocl.in/2g37guy
No matter how you experience it, depression is different for each person. Absolutely nobody wants to feel abandoned or lonely.
@gracemary, while we wait together for others to join in, what about starting with something really simple like coming to post on Connect once a day. You can say whatever you want. You can vent or tell us what the weather is doing outside your window. What do you think?

Jump to this post

thank you so much. I feel a little overwhelmed right now

REPLY
Kanaaz Pereira, Connect Moderator | @kanaazpereira | Apr 8, 2017

@gracemary, all you need to know is that if you feel you’ve been abandoned, you’re not alone — even though you might feel that way, right now.

Ever so often, just talking/venting/and seeking comfort from others, may help to uncover some false beliefs we have about ourselves...and here's the place to do it.
You will find many people here, on Connect who have gone through similar trials in life, and who can really understand; that's why this group is so wonderful.
The Connect community is here for you to lean on anytime, and to help you discover that together, things will start looking better.

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Apr 8, 2017
In reply to @gracemary "I am new to anything like this. I guess it's because I used to have friends..." + (show)
@gracemary

I am new to anything like this. I guess it's because I used to have friends and family to talk to but now I don't. Like many of you, health issues are what began the downward spiral. I was always the active, upbeat, driven , generous person who helped everybody. When I became sick, everyone disappeared. This horrible depression took over my personality. Then I became angry and bitter that nobody helped me when I finally needed it. I tried everything: church, therapy, writing in a journal. Nothing helped in the long run. I know in my heart that I am no longer fun to be around but the fact that I was ignored by all those I had helped my entire life just wrecked my outlook. I am still searching for answers because I'm not ready to give up completely. The biggest disappointment was my husband of over 20 years. We had a storybook love but he was GONE emotionally when I needed him. After 3 years of that, I asked him to leave. It's not good but it's definitely better without him around. This was a radical step but I felt I had to do it. Now what?

Jump to this post

Hello @gracemary, let me add my welcome to you as well. it sounds like you have been dealing with many difficult issues, both physically and in your relationships. There are many here at Mayo Connect who have been in the place where you are now and while we know the challenges you are facing, we also know that there is strength to overcome. Keep posting here on Mayo Connect and we will be "all ears" as you share your story with us. Best wishes. Teresa

REPLY
johnhans | @johnhans | Apr 9, 2017
In reply to @kanaazpereira "Hello @gracemary, I'd like to welcome you to Connect, and before anything else, let you know..." + (show)
@kanaazpereira

Hello @gracemary,

I'd like to welcome you to Connect, and before anything else, let you know that you are not alone as you will see from the community here.
I'm tagging @tabi @amberpep @pamelacelia @georgette12 @dott @piglit @bettyann @athome @roxie43 @callalily74 @guener @lesbatts @iamkaren @quazar, who I'm certain will join in to share their stories and experiences with you.

I would also encourage you to look at some other discussions in Mental Health:

Depression and anxiety: Exercise eases symptoms
http://mayocl.in/2dcJB7p
Depression — Let’s snap out of expecting to snap out of it
http://mayocl.in/2i59kQf
Is counseling helpful?
http://mayocl.in/2g37guy
No matter how you experience it, depression is different for each person. Absolutely nobody wants to feel abandoned or lonely.
@gracemary, while we wait together for others to join in, what about starting with something really simple like coming to post on Connect once a day. You can say whatever you want. You can vent or tell us what the weather is doing outside your window. What do you think?

Jump to this post

gracemary I too have felt abandoned but I know that many here are wonderful people who help all of us get through this pain of depression. I was doing very bad when I came on at the beginning of the year, but I am now doing better just knowing that I have this outlet where people understand. It can be overwhelming after years of not being able to openly discuss with others how you are feeling without getting a negative response. Thank you for the courage it took to get on here and say something of your life. Feel free to come back when you can. We are all here in the same boat so we understand you gracemary.

REPLY
liz223 | @liz223 | Apr 9, 2017

Haven't posted in awhile and I'm sorry. I've been feeling so much better. The doctor took me off one of my blood pressure meds because I felt so tired and I have had a little more energy, but the greatest result is I'm not depressed right now. Go figure. I go back in next week for a follow-up and maybe some fine tuning. Of course I'm not running any races, but I'm 85 and didn't expect to feel 20 again. LOL Also we're planning to sell our home and move into a retirement community which is exciting to me. We have no family close by and feel this will be a wise choice. Of course, we hate to leave our home, but there are stages to life and we take it one stage at a time.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Apr 9, 2017
In reply to @liz223 "Haven't posted in awhile and I'm sorry. I've been feeling so much better. The doctor took..." + (show)
@liz223

Haven't posted in awhile and I'm sorry. I've been feeling so much better. The doctor took me off one of my blood pressure meds because I felt so tired and I have had a little more energy, but the greatest result is I'm not depressed right now. Go figure. I go back in next week for a follow-up and maybe some fine tuning. Of course I'm not running any races, but I'm 85 and didn't expect to feel 20 again. LOL Also we're planning to sell our home and move into a retirement community which is exciting to me. We have no family close by and feel this will be a wise choice. Of course, we hate to leave our home, but there are stages to life and we take it one stage at a time.

Jump to this post

@liz223 I'm glad to hear that you are feeling better, that is good! Best wishes as you sell your home and move into a retirement community, it is a big step but you are wise to think of it as "one stage at a time." Teresa

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Apr 9, 2017
In reply to @kanaazpereira "Hello @gracemary, I'd like to welcome you to Connect, and before anything else, let you know..." + (show)
@kanaazpereira

Hello @gracemary,

I'd like to welcome you to Connect, and before anything else, let you know that you are not alone as you will see from the community here.
I'm tagging @tabi @amberpep @pamelacelia @georgette12 @dott @piglit @bettyann @athome @roxie43 @callalily74 @guener @lesbatts @iamkaren @quazar, who I'm certain will join in to share their stories and experiences with you.

I would also encourage you to look at some other discussions in Mental Health:

Depression and anxiety: Exercise eases symptoms
http://mayocl.in/2dcJB7p
Depression — Let’s snap out of expecting to snap out of it
http://mayocl.in/2i59kQf
Is counseling helpful?
http://mayocl.in/2g37guy
No matter how you experience it, depression is different for each person. Absolutely nobody wants to feel abandoned or lonely.
@gracemary, while we wait together for others to join in, what about starting with something really simple like coming to post on Connect once a day. You can say whatever you want. You can vent or tell us what the weather is doing outside your window. What do you think?

Jump to this post

@johnhans Thanks for your encouraging words! I'm glad that you are doing better now. Teresa

REPLY
Parus | @parus | Jul 14, 2017

Would that I had the answer...

REPLY
sharlynn62 | @sharlynn62 | Jul 15, 2017

I am replying to Annie P. who wrote in March 2017. I just now read your post, so maybe things have changed since then.
I am going to be turning 55 this year and I too have extreme hopelessness regarding my future. I have several chronic physical problems that are a barrier to doing things (I can't walk very far, I'm in pain every day, I can't stand for long, etc.) and I have tried so many different medical procedures, etc. that haven't helped. I'm now trying acupuncture.

I am currently unemployed except for a consulting job here and there. I have worked all my life; it has been my life and I can't get past the fact that I'm not able to work and do what I want to do. I do a lot of volunteering, but it's just not the same thing. seems like there's barrier after barrier and a lot of disappointment. Are you still working? Does that give you any sense of purpose, which I always felt was a real boost to manage my depression. I working in the helping profession, and helping people makes me feel worthwhile. This is what I'm doing in my volunteer work. I would recommend trying something that involves helping others and try to make it a point to remind yourself how important you are to the people you're helping. What do you think?

I won't go into detail because I've said so much already, but just know that you're not the only one who can't find people out there who really care. It seems everyone is so caught up in their own lives...It's hard when you don't have much of a life (that's me). I do go to a center for persons with mental health challenges and meet with someone there who also has bipolar disorder, depressed type and she and I can really relate. I find that if you can find someone else who is or has experienced what you are, it is extremely helpful. There is a group called DBSA, Depression Bipolar Support Alliance, that has meetings in the community. You might want to check them out.

I do feel your pain. I hope that maybe I have said something that will be helpful to you.
Take care and know that there are people that really do care; it's just hard as heck to find them!

REPLY
1 reply
Parus | @parus | Jul 15, 2017

@sharlynn62 Truly hope the person doing acupuncture is legit and you have checked into the person doing this-waaaay to many that are not worthy of performing and will even do things w/ their needles to cause harm to keep you coming back...my apologies if I have burst your bubble...do your homework and beware those bragging about themselves...

REPLY
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