1. < Depression & Anxiety

Long-term depression

Posted by anniep @anniep, Mar 8, 2017

New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there's nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It's "We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don't bother me - but we love you!" I'm old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can't ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @tamara1967 "@anniep, you didnt say how old you are, before or after retirement? Married? I have been..." + (show)
@tamara1967

@anniep, you didnt say how old you are, before or after retirement? Married?

I have been rediagnosed recently with atypical depression. I have pushed about everyone away in my life. Rejection hits me hard, ive gained over 60 pounds. My husband of 25 years wants a divorce because he thinks I'll never get better. I had to take leave of abscence from my teaching job, my 2 grandkids whom i adore drive me crazy if they are here more than an hour. My 4 kids are grown, they call or text now and then but its always about them.
Btw i am 50 this June. I dont know how to go on either. I have been to the ER for panic attacks also and have a weekly counselor and monthly psychiatrist. I still feel like what is left? Why get up? My husband got me a dog as he travels some, but its just more work. Im exhausted and have no plans for a future, except alone and lonely. I dont even go to church anymore i just cant get up to go face fake people. I am not suicidal if anyone wonders.

I agree people say if theres anything you need let us know....i haven't heard from Anyone since leaving work 5 months ago! And no one from church has called to find out where i went.

I had a great life, i dont know where it went?

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@kathyannyarborough Hi Kathy: Yes, "win-win" it is. Soup makers have a way of blessing the world! Teresa

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @sharlynn62 "anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know..." + (show)
@sharlynn62

anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know if you have any children...I have one son who is getting ready to graduate from college and he is what I think about when I have thoughts of not wanting to be around.  I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis in my lower back and both knees as well as chronic daily migraines and I'm  plagued with constant hopelessness.   What works for me is focusing on one minute, one hour, etc. at a time and try to identify things I can be thankful for and every little accomplishment or good thing that has happened.  It is extremely difficult and typically, when I'm at home by myself, I spend a lot of time crying and cursing, but, I do what I can.  That is all you can expect.  I  have had to lower my expectations and "go with the flow" often because I never know when I'm going to have a good day or a day that's not so good.I hope you find some ways to cope during your daily struggles.  Believe it or not, there ARE a few people out there who really do care and I've encountered a hell of a lot who don't.  If you can find someone who's had similar experiences (like me) it's helpful for support.  You can certainly email me, if you like.Take care of yourself.  It's hard as hell to make it through each day, but you never know what might be ahead of you.  On the recovery  journey....Sharon<br>

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Hi @windwalker, thanks for bringing up the NAMI organization. It's been a while since we have discussed NAMI on this forum. Their classes as well as support groups are very helpful! Teresa

REPLY
anniep | @anniep | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @sharlynn62 "anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know..." + (show)
@sharlynn62

anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know if you have any children...I have one son who is getting ready to graduate from college and he is what I think about when I have thoughts of not wanting to be around.  I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis in my lower back and both knees as well as chronic daily migraines and I'm  plagued with constant hopelessness.   What works for me is focusing on one minute, one hour, etc. at a time and try to identify things I can be thankful for and every little accomplishment or good thing that has happened.  It is extremely difficult and typically, when I'm at home by myself, I spend a lot of time crying and cursing, but, I do what I can.  That is all you can expect.  I  have had to lower my expectations and "go with the flow" often because I never know when I'm going to have a good day or a day that's not so good.I hope you find some ways to cope during your daily struggles.  Believe it or not, there ARE a few people out there who really do care and I've encountered a hell of a lot who don't.  If you can find someone who's had similar experiences (like me) it's helpful for support.  You can certainly email me, if you like.Take care of yourself.  It's hard as hell to make it through each day, but you never know what might be ahead of you.  On the recovery  journey....Sharon<br>

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Windwalker, No, I have not heard of NAMI, but I will research it. Thank you for the suggestion.

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4loss | @4loss | Mar 14, 2017

I am just now new to this site. I am reading some posts regarding ideas for connecting, finding purpose, and essentially "getting out of" yourself. I have been there...and sometimes can sustain the optimism to make strides in that direction. It works like this: I walk 30 min a day for a few weeks. Then, either a person exhausts me, a situation happens, or I am triggered to sadness and I lose all.
It's not that I will not try again when I build up again- usually in a few weeks.
The debilitating exhaustion and complete deep depression with anxiety feel that any options for feeling better are for later. This pattern repeats itself over and over.
Those that speak of finding a reason to push through the days I can relate to very much. The best I try for day-to-day is really giving love to my dog and watching the ducks and geese out the window. Nature can calm me, help me see how animals just keep awakening daily and get through until night begins again. They even make me smile through everything.
I wish for others a way to smile in these dark times.

REPLY
3 replies
georgette12 | @georgette12 | Mar 14, 2017

Welcome to our forum 4loss....i am checking in just before a meeting ..so this is just a quick "glad you are here" message. I relate to everything you are saying. I have a mushy faced wrinkled full bred english bulldog who makes me smile every time i look at him! I am definitely on the day to day thing...as most of us suffering depression are. So you are among friends who really care...REALLY care. I have found that we special people have to think out of the box to find people to bond with...and the really strange and unique thing about this issue is that...the people i personally have found...are on forums such as this. Isn't that peculiar? Being a people person....as in real live breathing human entities i can reach out and touch....it has been rather enlightening to find that i find more acceptance and concern and caring from virtual people in a virtual reality! I kind of joke about this online forum world...as an alternative universe...i'm only partially kidding....it just seems somehow wrong that...speaking for myself .....the people who inhabit my "real" world...are just not there for me. Yet the gentle souls i find on this forum, for instance...these are the folks who are "here".....or is it "there"for me? Which makes me feel way more comfortable living amongst my living and caring people in my personal alternative universe!!

I am just having a bit of fun with these ideas and silly thoughts....it is kind of my quirky way of looking at my world and the unique characters who inhabit it physically and virtually. For me personally, i find that a bit of dark humor gets me through the day. (It also makes me seem strange and eccentric to others...which only makes me laugh more!)

Again, so glad to see you here...well...is that "see" you..or "read" you? Blessings to you 4loss. Stay with us and find a bit of fun, advice, opinions, and comfort and concern.

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2 replies
liz223 | @liz223 | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @4loss "I am just now new to this site. I am reading some posts regarding ideas for..." + (show)
@4loss

I am just now new to this site. I am reading some posts regarding ideas for connecting, finding purpose, and essentially "getting out of" yourself. I have been there...and sometimes can sustain the optimism to make strides in that direction. It works like this: I walk 30 min a day for a few weeks. Then, either a person exhausts me, a situation happens, or I am triggered to sadness and I lose all.
It's not that I will not try again when I build up again- usually in a few weeks.
The debilitating exhaustion and complete deep depression with anxiety feel that any options for feeling better are for later. This pattern repeats itself over and over.
Those that speak of finding a reason to push through the days I can relate to very much. The best I try for day-to-day is really giving love to my dog and watching the ducks and geese out the window. Nature can calm me, help me see how animals just keep awakening daily and get through until night begins again. They even make me smile through everything.
I wish for others a way to smile in these dark times.

Jump to this post

Welcome! Glad you have joined us. Like you, most of my good intentions only last for awhile and then something comes along to cause me to lose interest. Then I pick it up again. Maybe mine comes from boredom, I'm not sure. I've had a lot of different hobbies and enjoy a new challenge.
Hope you enjoy our group. 🙂

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @4loss "I am just now new to this site. I am reading some posts regarding ideas for..." + (show)
@4loss

I am just now new to this site. I am reading some posts regarding ideas for connecting, finding purpose, and essentially "getting out of" yourself. I have been there...and sometimes can sustain the optimism to make strides in that direction. It works like this: I walk 30 min a day for a few weeks. Then, either a person exhausts me, a situation happens, or I am triggered to sadness and I lose all.
It's not that I will not try again when I build up again- usually in a few weeks.
The debilitating exhaustion and complete deep depression with anxiety feel that any options for feeling better are for later. This pattern repeats itself over and over.
Those that speak of finding a reason to push through the days I can relate to very much. The best I try for day-to-day is really giving love to my dog and watching the ducks and geese out the window. Nature can calm me, help me see how animals just keep awakening daily and get through until night begins again. They even make me smile through everything.
I wish for others a way to smile in these dark times.

Jump to this post

Hello @4loss and welcome to Mayo Connect! Thank you for joining in on the discussion. It sounds like you have found a lot of comfort in nature, that is wonderful. Several of our other members have an appreciation for nature as well. I also appreciate the perspective that you give regarding the ups and downs of moods and that not every day can be expected to be the same. I like what you said about the need of "getting out of" yourself. That is a good mental tactic that we can all follow. Feel free to share more with us as you like, we always welcome new members and new thoughts. Teresa

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Mar 14, 2017

@georgette12 Your thoughts are delightful! Thanks for welcoming our new member, @4loss. Teresa

REPLY
Mentor
Terri Martin, Volunteer Mentor | @windwalker | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @sharlynn62 "anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know..." + (show)
@sharlynn62

anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know if you have any children...I have one son who is getting ready to graduate from college and he is what I think about when I have thoughts of not wanting to be around.  I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis in my lower back and both knees as well as chronic daily migraines and I'm  plagued with constant hopelessness.   What works for me is focusing on one minute, one hour, etc. at a time and try to identify things I can be thankful for and every little accomplishment or good thing that has happened.  It is extremely difficult and typically, when I'm at home by myself, I spend a lot of time crying and cursing, but, I do what I can.  That is all you can expect.  I  have had to lower my expectations and "go with the flow" often because I never know when I'm going to have a good day or a day that's not so good.I hope you find some ways to cope during your daily struggles.  Believe it or not, there ARE a few people out there who really do care and I've encountered a hell of a lot who don't.  If you can find someone who's had similar experiences (like me) it's helpful for support.  You can certainly email me, if you like.Take care of yourself.  It's hard as hell to make it through each day, but you never know what might be ahead of you.  On the recovery  journey....Sharon<br>

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<br><br><br><br><br>You are welcome. The 12 week class I took was a real eye opener and I now <br>have a lot of patience and understanding for my daughter who has bi-polar <br>disorder.<br> <br><br>

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1 reply
Mentor
Terri Martin, Volunteer Mentor | @windwalker | Mar 14, 2017
In reply to @sharlynn62 "anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know..." + (show)
@sharlynn62

anniep,I can completely relate to what you are saying, except for one thing.  I don't know if you have any children...I have one son who is getting ready to graduate from college and he is what I think about when I have thoughts of not wanting to be around.  I have chronic pain from osteoarthritis in my lower back and both knees as well as chronic daily migraines and I'm  plagued with constant hopelessness.   What works for me is focusing on one minute, one hour, etc. at a time and try to identify things I can be thankful for and every little accomplishment or good thing that has happened.  It is extremely difficult and typically, when I'm at home by myself, I spend a lot of time crying and cursing, but, I do what I can.  That is all you can expect.  I  have had to lower my expectations and "go with the flow" often because I never know when I'm going to have a good day or a day that's not so good.I hope you find some ways to cope during your daily struggles.  Believe it or not, there ARE a few people out there who really do care and I've encountered a hell of a lot who don't.  If you can find someone who's had similar experiences (like me) it's helpful for support.  You can certainly email me, if you like.Take care of yourself.  It's hard as hell to make it through each day, but you never know what might be ahead of you.  On the recovery  journey....Sharon<br>

Jump to this post

<br><br><br><br><br>Annie, I was attending a support group at NAMI; you can really learn a lot <br>from others when they share their stories. Sometimes you learn new coping tips <br>or even about someone else's new meds working better.....plus, there is comfort <br>knowing you are not alone with these kinds of struggles. Hugs.<br> <br><br>

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