My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old.

Posted by maone @maone, Jul 30, 2019

@maone and @debbraw — There is a discussion which may interest members on automatically having Connect emails go into a specific email folder you can create by creating a message rule or filter in your email program. This discussion has a lot of good information for different email programs that hopefully will help you do it if you want to try it.

> Groups > Just Want to Talk > [Tip] Filter your Connect emails into a folder
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/tip-filter-your-connect-emails-into-a-folder-1/

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@johnbishop

@maone and @debbraw — There is a discussion which may interest members on automatically having Connect emails go into a specific email folder you can create by creating a message rule or filter in your email program. This discussion has a lot of good information for different email programs that hopefully will help you do it if you want to try it.

> Groups > Just Want to Talk > [Tip] Filter your Connect emails into a folder
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/tip-filter-your-connect-emails-into-a-folder-1/

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@johnbishop@maone and @debbraw – Can I stick my 2 cents in? On my computer, in my spam box there is a place at the top that says "not spam" and if you check the box off in front of the email from Mayo Connect it will send it back to your in box. If it does it again, then do the same thing. Usually I only have to do it once. Does this make sense? It might just be the computer?

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@merpreb

@johnbishop@maone and @debbraw – Can I stick my 2 cents in? On my computer, in my spam box there is a place at the top that says "not spam" and if you check the box off in front of the email from Mayo Connect it will send it back to your in box. If it does it again, then do the same thing. Usually I only have to do it once. Does this make sense? It might just be the computer?

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@merpreb and @maone

I've done that as well, Merry. It does work! Anything you want to get in your inbox (not the spam filter) can be checked or moved. Thanks for explaining that Merry!

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@debbraw

Hi @maone – my heart is aching for you. I am not that great at technology but I'm going to ask @johnbishop for help. He is a mentor and he is a Tech Whiz! John, can you help @maone figure out how to keep our Connect emails from going to her spam/junk folder. She has more than enough to deal with. If I could help her, I would. Thanks in advance!

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Thanks so much. I’m using my iPad and not the computer but this has never happened on my iPad. For now I’m just checking my junk and found the replies today on it also. I’m impressed that I’ve had so many who care. Thanks so much. Never thought I’d have to go through this at 76 years old. But I don’t guess age has anything to do with it. God bless you for caring

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@maone As a mother, I can only imagine what you must be going through. I have read through all of the comments from others and responses from you. My first thought was are you sure he did not meet with foul play but it sounds as if there were signs there that this was planned.
I am so very sorry. I hope and pray that he will return, that somehow he will realize how much his family loves him and this hurts them more than anything else could.
JK

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I don’t think he did. There were signs that he planned this. His visit to us was one. I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t talk about anything private. Never would. This all tends to go back to a first marriage? He was never the same after that. It was still a ongoing problem. I think he was running from that as to not put more hurt on us but didn’t really realize what it might do to us. You can’t run from things. He left the very people who could help him most. Maybe he just didn’t care anymore? It’s so very hard trying to figure it out when one feels like they have lost a part of their body. Thanks for caring ❤️

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@maone

I don’t think he did. There were signs that he planned this. His visit to us was one. I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t talk about anything private. Never would. This all tends to go back to a first marriage? He was never the same after that. It was still a ongoing problem. I think he was running from that as to not put more hurt on us but didn’t really realize what it might do to us. You can’t run from things. He left the very people who could help him most. Maybe he just didn’t care anymore? It’s so very hard trying to figure it out when one feels like they have lost a part of their body. Thanks for caring ❤️

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Hello @maone,

All of your guesses about what happened to your son will probably not offer you much relief because they are just guesses. There is really no way to know what was going on in his mind when he disappeared.

I would like to suggest that you begin posting in Loss and Grief group. While most of the people in this group have experienced a loss due to the death of a loved one or friend, other losses are discussed there as well. I'm sure you will find some support. I encourage you to post in the discussion titled, "Loss When There is No Closure." This would very much fit your current situation.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-what-do-you-do-when-there-is-no-closure/
Please keep in touch!

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@hopeful33250

Hello @maone,

All of your guesses about what happened to your son will probably not offer you much relief because they are just guesses. There is really no way to know what was going on in his mind when he disappeared.

I would like to suggest that you begin posting in Loss and Grief group. While most of the people in this group have experienced a loss due to the death of a loved one or friend, other losses are discussed there as well. I'm sure you will find some support. I encourage you to post in the discussion titled, "Loss When There is No Closure." This would very much fit your current situation.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-what-do-you-do-when-there-is-no-closure/
Please keep in touch!

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Thanks so much !

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Hello @maone,

Just a thought: Have you and your family ever considered the possibility that your son may be in a witness protection program? I'm not sure how you would ever find out for sure about that, but it might fit the picture of what happened to him, especially since he visited beforehand and left clues that indicated that he knew something was about to change in his life.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @maone,

Just a thought: Have you and your family ever considered the possibility that your son may be in a witness protection program? I'm not sure how you would ever find out for sure about that, but it might fit the picture of what happened to him, especially since he visited beforehand and left clues that indicated that he knew something was about to change in his life.

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Yes,I had thought of this but like you said,no way of finding out. Thanks for caring

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@maone

Yes,I had thought of this but like you said,no way of finding out. Thanks for caring

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@maone Wishing you much peace as you reconcile yourself to this disturbing change in your family.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @maone,

All of your guesses about what happened to your son will probably not offer you much relief because they are just guesses. There is really no way to know what was going on in his mind when he disappeared.

I would like to suggest that you begin posting in Loss and Grief group. While most of the people in this group have experienced a loss due to the death of a loved one or friend, other losses are discussed there as well. I'm sure you will find some support. I encourage you to post in the discussion titled, "Loss When There is No Closure." This would very much fit your current situation.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-what-do-you-do-when-there-is-no-closure/
Please keep in touch!

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You know I posted in this group and I think I only got one response from the mentor?.

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