1. < Loss & Grief
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My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old.

Posted by maone @maone, Jul 30, 2019

He left his wife and family three months ago.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief Support Group.

Profile picture for Colleen Young, Connect Director
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Sep 17, 2019
In reply to @maone "I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you..." + (show)
Profile picture for maone @maone

I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@maone you're right. Connect is a community of support; not judgement -- ever. No member can know the whole story of another member. No member should tell another what they should do. Our Community Guidelines ( https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/) offer 10 short rules of conduct that help keep the Mayo Clinic Connect community safe, supportive, inclusive, and respectful.

I'm sorry that you were on the receiving end of a harsh judgement by another member. Their post has been removed. You are a welcome and important member of the community. I hope you will continue to participate on Connect, to give and get support.

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Sep 17, 2019

@maone- Please continue on Connect. I hope that one person's poor judgement won't keep you from helping others. You have a unique experience that can help so many people, an empathy that goes very deep. And there are other groups that would benefit your wisdom. Shall I send you a link?

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Sep 17, 2019
In reply to @maone "I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you..." + (show)
Profile picture for maone @maone

I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@maone Please don’t stop responding. You have good insight into a situation that many of us are unfamiliar with. And you have a wonderful, quiet manner!

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imallears | @imallears | Sep 17, 2019
In reply to @colleenyoung "@jakedduck1 I remind you of Mayo Clinic Connect's Community Guidelines https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/ In particular, note item number..." + (show)
Profile picture for Colleen Young, Connect Director @colleenyoung

@jakedduck1 I remind you of Mayo Clinic Connect's Community Guidelines https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/ In particular, note item number 2
"Remain respectful at all times.
- Exercise tolerance and respect toward other participants whose views may differ from your own. Disagreements are fine, but mutual respect is a must.
- Be inclusive. Not everyone shares the same religious or political beliefs. Don't impose your beliefs on others.
- Personal attacks against members or health care providers are not acceptable. Such posts will be removed."

Your post will be removed. Please send me a private message or reply using this form if you wish to talk to me about the decision https://connect.mayoclinic.org/contact-a-community-moderator/

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@coleenyoung
Hello

I was initially surprised at your response to Leonard’s post as I doubt that he was being judgmental. However, this is a good reminder that we have to be so careful what we post. We don’t really know the person we are responding to. We can get careless because this is such a friendly and well intentioned group and, as you know, we trade barbs among each other such as Leonard’s reference to my obnoxious cooking concoctions. I never took offense but someone else might.

We’ve seen the devastating effects of social media posts. We think out loud and often write down our thoughts because we are curious and like to share our opinions. So it behooves us to think twice before hitting the Reply button. I personally would feel horrible if I hurt someone unintentionally with my words and would want to know.. I’m sure we have all done this in our lives at some time. I’m glad @maone shared her hurt.

FL Mary

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Profile picture for Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 17, 2019
In reply to @maone "I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you..." + (show)
Profile picture for maone @maone

I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@maone Each person walks their own road. While I cannot imagine how rough it has been for you, please accept my apologies on behalf of anyone who may have said something out of line in your situation. I hope you will continue posting here on Connect. Your insight is valuable.
Ginger

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Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Sep 18, 2019
In reply to @maone "Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never..." + (show)
Profile picture for maone @maone

Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never really knows how another really feels unless they have gone through the same thing. Even so we can always say a prayer or let one know we care that they are hurting. Only God knows our future and I’m glad of that for sure. It seems like all kinds of things happened after this. Like the air going out and had to be replaced and a truck falling apart and had to be replaced and I got food poisoning and that took so much out of me. Sure wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But do know that is all part of life but still isn’t easy and with my Fibromyalgia I’m really sensitive to many things. Seems so many people are hurting each other these days on purpose and even getting thrills from it. So very sad. Well, you’ve got me talking again.lol Thanks so much for your caring. Praying for you also ❤️

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@maone - It's another day and I hope that the sun is shining in your neighborhood. Yikes, you had a lot to handle all at once. Food poisoning is the pits. Thank you for sharing your painful feelings. I think that they are as important as good feelings and it's difficult to express for some people. You do not have that problem and that's good. It will help you on this terrible journey.
Here is a link to our discussions on Fibromyalgia if you want to check it out. @sandytoes14, please meet @maone. She also suffers from fibromyalgia.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/feeling-at-my-with-end-with-chronic-pain-and-fibromyalgia/

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Profile picture for Becky, Volunteer Mentor
Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Sep 28, 2019
In reply to @maone "Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never..." + (show)
Profile picture for maone @maone

Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never really knows how another really feels unless they have gone through the same thing. Even so we can always say a prayer or let one know we care that they are hurting. Only God knows our future and I’m glad of that for sure. It seems like all kinds of things happened after this. Like the air going out and had to be replaced and a truck falling apart and had to be replaced and I got food poisoning and that took so much out of me. Sure wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But do know that is all part of life but still isn’t easy and with my Fibromyalgia I’m really sensitive to many things. Seems so many people are hurting each other these days on purpose and even getting thrills from it. So very sad. Well, you’ve got me talking again.lol Thanks so much for your caring. Praying for you also ❤️

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@maone Good morning. Are you doing ok? I’ve been thinking about you and praying that you find some peace

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