My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old.

Posted by maone @maone, Tue, Jul 30 9:45am

He left his wife and family three months ago.

@georgette12

I am reading these posts while trying to get through this anniversary of my son's suicide from which there cannot ever be closure. So I understand the anguish of a son disappearing without saying goodbye. I can only say that continued support from people who understand, and frequent discussions with God, are the only things that help. And grief counseling. Blessings.

Jump to this post

Hello @georgette12,
My heart goes out to you as you recognize the anniversary of your son's death by suicide. I especially appreciate your reaching out at this difficult time. When you feel like it, could you please post as to how you went about finding grief support groups as well as a personal grief counselor?

REPLY
@georgette12

I am reading these posts while trying to get through this anniversary of my son's suicide from which there cannot ever be closure. So I understand the anguish of a son disappearing without saying goodbye. I can only say that continued support from people who understand, and frequent discussions with God, are the only things that help. And grief counseling. Blessings.

Jump to this post

@georgette12 I am so sorry to hear of your son’s suicide. That must be difficult every single day, a niece’s son committed suicide and I think every day of what she must be going through.
I think a strong belief in God is the thing that must be most helpful.
JK

REPLY
@hopeful33250

Hello @georgette12,
My heart goes out to you as you recognize the anniversary of your son's death by suicide. I especially appreciate your reaching out at this difficult time. When you feel like it, could you please post as to how you went about finding grief support groups as well as a personal grief counselor?

Jump to this post

I looked for a counselor and quite by chance was sent to a therapist specializing on traumatic grief. Such as sudden unexpected loss , murder, suicide, stuff like that. The treatment was different than previous counseling I had.

REPLY
@georgette12

I looked for a counselor and quite by chance was sent to a therapist specializing on traumatic grief. Such as sudden unexpected loss , murder, suicide, stuff like that. The treatment was different than previous counseling I had.

Jump to this post

Then support groups can be found through the hospital or churches or doctors offices and even holistic and massage therapists and chiropractic dr. If you can't get to these then online support from people experiencing loss of your specific nature is definitely available.

REPLY
@georgette12

I am reading these posts while trying to get through this anniversary of my son's suicide from which there cannot ever be closure. So I understand the anguish of a son disappearing without saying goodbye. I can only say that continued support from people who understand, and frequent discussions with God, are the only things that help. And grief counseling. Blessings.

Jump to this post

Thanks so much. I will be praying for you also. Blessings and comfort to you as one who understands. We didn’t want to be here but we are and we can help each other by praying for each other and having compassion. God bless you ❤️

REPLY
@contentandwell

@maone As @hopeful33250 commented, I too am impressed with your strength. This must be terribly difficult for you. I hope at some point that he will feel more at peace and return to those who love him. Until then, I hope you and the others in the family can be supportive of each other.
Hugs, JK

Jump to this post

Thanks so much ! Comfort to know someone cares in this safe place to write. I’m glad I reached out. Just little words of encouragement help one. ❤️

REPLY
@gingerw

@maone You are a strong woman, and being held up as an example by others, no doubt. It sounds like you have exhausted your resources. I hope your son may hear about your efforts, somehow, and understand how deeply his actions were felt by everyone. We're here for you. We care.
Ginger

Jump to this post

Thanks so much. I am trying to reply to everyone who has posted and still trying to figure exactly how this posting and replying works. So if I omit anyone, please forgive. I woke up today thinking that this can’t have happened to me but it did. Then I found that there was replies on this site and am feeling somewhat better. People talk about a new normal and I can understand this now. A new normal is not having a phone call asking if I’m ok or being able to call and leave a message saying the weather is bad please pray. Even though he was 100s of miles away I could still reach him. I guess I’ve said enough. I don’t know if there is a limit on how much we can write? God bless those who care and who are hurting also ❤️

REPLY
@maone

Thanks so much. I am trying to reply to everyone who has posted and still trying to figure exactly how this posting and replying works. So if I omit anyone, please forgive. I woke up today thinking that this can’t have happened to me but it did. Then I found that there was replies on this site and am feeling somewhat better. People talk about a new normal and I can understand this now. A new normal is not having a phone call asking if I’m ok or being able to call and leave a message saying the weather is bad please pray. Even though he was 100s of miles away I could still reach him. I guess I’ve said enough. I don’t know if there is a limit on how much we can write? God bless those who care and who are hurting also ❤️

Jump to this post

@maone There is no limit to what we may write. I am so glad you found this site, and have felt a measure of comfort as we reach out back to you. I hope you can "feel" our concern for you and your family, what everyone is going through. We do care here, and knowing it has helped you at this time, and beyond, helps us, too.
Ginger

REPLY

I really think that the phrase "new normal " is helpful. The word normal is in itself problematic for me personally and always has been. But in regard to loss and grief, there is and never will be anything like your "previous normal ". Blessings to everyone here who wakes up with the new normal feeling of "this could not have happened. "

REPLY
@georgette12

I really think that the phrase "new normal " is helpful. The word normal is in itself problematic for me personally and always has been. But in regard to loss and grief, there is and never will be anything like your "previous normal ". Blessings to everyone here who wakes up with the new normal feeling of "this could not have happened. "

Jump to this post

Interesting perspective I had not thought of before, @georgette12 When my wife passed away after her war with brain cancer I quit using the word 'normal', because of two things. First, my life was now without the person who had been the most important part of it and second, any concept of normal left our lives the day she got her diagnosis.

I simply use 'life is different'.
Strength, courage, and peace

REPLY
@gingerw

@maone There is no limit to what we may write. I am so glad you found this site, and have felt a measure of comfort as we reach out back to you. I hope you can "feel" our concern for you and your family, what everyone is going through. We do care here, and knowing it has helped you at this time, and beyond, helps us, too.
Ginger

Jump to this post

Thanks so much. I can think and pray for others. We should do that as it helps us and them and puts our minds on others not just us and what we’re going through. I read about Scott who lost his wife and I’m including him in my prayers. Was going to ask about how people feel when little things go wrong like house repairs can add it seems greatly to what all has already happened. First response is that I can’t deal with this on top of what I’m going through? Then I have to go back to one day at a time again. Prayers and thanks to all in this group. ❤️

REPLY
@maone

Thanks so much. I can think and pray for others. We should do that as it helps us and them and puts our minds on others not just us and what we’re going through. I read about Scott who lost his wife and I’m including him in my prayers. Was going to ask about how people feel when little things go wrong like house repairs can add it seems greatly to what all has already happened. First response is that I can’t deal with this on top of what I’m going through? Then I have to go back to one day at a time again. Prayers and thanks to all in this group. ❤️

Jump to this post

@maone You are in my thoughts and prayers.

REPLY
@sandytoes14

@maone You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jump to this post

Thanks so very much. God bless you ❤️

REPLY

It seemed all at once everyone quit responding? Maybe I need to put more input in myself and reach out to others myself. Nothing is new at all with my situation. Except the passing of time. Rather this than bad news for sure. Praying for all of the hurting ones reaching out for comfort. Thanks for any prayers sent this way.❤️

REPLY
@maone

It seemed all at once everyone quit responding? Maybe I need to put more input in myself and reach out to others myself. Nothing is new at all with my situation. Except the passing of time. Rather this than bad news for sure. Praying for all of the hurting ones reaching out for comfort. Thanks for any prayers sent this way.❤️

Jump to this post

Hello @maone,

As a general rule, Members respond to posts. You might consider continuing to post your feelings in the Loss and Grief discussion group as you have done before.

There is a lot of comfort from others as you share your feelings. As a starting point, which of these feelings is most prominent right now: emptiness, loneliness, confusion, wanting to know what to do with these feelings?

Post about one of those feelings and I'm sure that others will respond as you reach out. Remember, we can only get support as we reach out to others and seek their support.

REPLY
Please login or register to post a reply.