My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old.

Posted by maone @maone, Tue, Jul 30 9:45am

He left his wife and family three months ago.

@hopeful33250

Hello @maone,

Just a thought: Have you and your family ever considered the possibility that your son may be in a witness protection program? I'm not sure how you would ever find out for sure about that, but it might fit the picture of what happened to him, especially since he visited beforehand and left clues that indicated that he knew something was about to change in his life.

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@maone @hopeful33250 As I read your posts the very thought I had was that he was a witness to something. Perhaps leaving meant safety to him and his family. I realize you will never know. My wish for you and all his family is that you are able to find peace.

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@maone – I have been thinking about what a struggle it must be for your family to make a decision of whether you will try and find him or just trust his word, that some how he is trying to protect you. Do you have any idea of what that might be?

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@becsbuddy

@maone I, too, have been following your story, but could not think of anything new to help you. The whole story is just too horrible and I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel for you and your family. Do your sons friends know of places he liked to visit or just go to? Has he used a credit card at all? This can be traced. Also using an ATM can be traced. I’m sure you’ve done it all and I’m not much help. Please know that I think of you every day and pray for the best outcome.

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He cut off all ties to anything and everyone. He planned this we can clearly see now. I think he’s not using his name or anything he had before. I do think he thought this was a way to maybe protect us but it wasn’t a wise thing to ever do. Thanks for caring.

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@becsbuddy

@maone I, too, have been following your story, but could not think of anything new to help you. The whole story is just too horrible and I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel for you and your family. Do your sons friends know of places he liked to visit or just go to? Has he used a credit card at all? This can be traced. Also using an ATM can be traced. I’m sure you’ve done it all and I’m not much help. Please know that I think of you every day and pray for the best outcome.

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Thanks so much for your prayers. That’s what is keeping us going. I’ve had a case of something like food poisoning lately and am trying to get my strength back from that. Thanks for caring ❤️

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@merpreb

@maone – I know that you are undergoing a shocking change in your life, and again I can't imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine. The position of a volunteer mentor is not necessarily to "lead" a group. We started here just like everyone, looking for support and answers. As mentors we try and draw people out and share experiences, not to "rule over the nest." We welcome new members and hep guide discussions, staying away from controversial topics. We also help guide other members to join in conversations who might not be in a particular group, etc.
Mayo connect is a on-line community based on lots of inputs from lots of people, from all over the world. After I answered your first post so many people, including other mentors, came to your support that I didn't feel that it was necessary to basically say much of the same things. And what I mean by this is that what you are going through is so horrific that some of us really don't know what to say after our first response.
I am sorry if you have felt abandoned. If there is more that we can do or say please help guide us so that we do the best that we can for you.

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Oh, don’t be sorry. I’m ok. I just thought no one was in the group much. Any input from anyone is nice to have. Having people who care is nice and helps. I’m not completely sure how all of this works but I’m getting replies from both groups. I’m still having to go to my junk mail to find them ? That is weird. But at least I know where to look. God bless you for your thoughts and prayers

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@maone I haven't been posting to you for awhile but have read all the post from people here . Have you thought back in his life as if there was any problems that he may have gone into a witness protection program like @hopeful33250 suggested ? Did he witness anything in the past that might have been the problem why he disappeared? Ask his wife if she knows anything about why this may have happened but I'm sure the whole family is wracking there brain to figure this out . Sorry to say this but maybe it is something you never will find out now but there is always hope someday you will find him . You are in my prayers

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The only new thing is we don’t think we’ll hear from him. We know that God knows where he is and we have Him. Seems like he did a good job of disappearing from everyone. No contact with anything from his past at all. One day at a time Sweet Jesus ❤️

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@lioness

@maone I haven't been posting to you for awhile but have read all the post from people here . Have you thought back in his life as if there was any problems that he may have gone into a witness protection program like @hopeful33250 suggested ? Did he witness anything in the past that might have been the problem why he disappeared? Ask his wife if she knows anything about why this may have happened but I'm sure the whole family is wracking there brain to figure this out . Sorry to say this but maybe it is something you never will find out now but there is always hope someday you will find him . You are in my prayers

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Thanks so much for your concerns. He did have problems from the past that he could have wanted just to try to disappear from. They were still continuing. This is not the way to solve them but I feel this is what he has done. It’s left us all so heartbroken and empty. I’ve been sick lately with food poisoning and it really hit hard. Trying to get through one day at a time. Thanks so much to those that care.

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@maone

The only new thing is we don’t think we’ll hear from him. We know that God knows where he is and we have Him. Seems like he did a good job of disappearing from everyone. No contact with anything from his past at all. One day at a time Sweet Jesus ❤️

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Hello @maone, When you say, "The only new thing is we don’t think we’ll hear from him," I think that this idea represents acceptance of this unfortunate situation. If so, acceptance is a good place to start. I'm sure in time, you will adjust to this "new normal" and be able to rebuild your family around those who are left for you to love and care for. I have a feeling that your son misses you as much as you miss him and thinks about you with fondness.

You show incredible strength and determination as you face this difficulty. Blessings and prayers are going your way.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @maone, When you say, "The only new thing is we don’t think we’ll hear from him," I think that this idea represents acceptance of this unfortunate situation. If so, acceptance is a good place to start. I'm sure in time, you will adjust to this "new normal" and be able to rebuild your family around those who are left for you to love and care for. I have a feeling that your son misses you as much as you miss him and thinks about you with fondness.

You show incredible strength and determination as you face this difficulty. Blessings and prayers are going your way.

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Thanks so much for your input. Thanks for your prayers also. Blessings to you also ❤️

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@maone As @hopeful33250 commented, I too am impressed with your strength. This must be terribly difficult for you. I hope at some point that he will feel more at peace and return to those who love him. Until then, I hope you and the others in the family can be supportive of each other.
Hugs, JK

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@contentandwell

@maone As @hopeful33250 commented, I too am impressed with your strength. This must be terribly difficult for you. I hope at some point that he will feel more at peace and return to those who love him. Until then, I hope you and the others in the family can be supportive of each other.
Hugs, JK

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Thanks so much. I’m taking each day at a time. First thing when I wake up is that this couldn’t have happened. I know nothing. I’m alone a lot but then that gives me time for prayer. How blessed to have Jesus ! I’m clinging to Him. My comfort,my strength. Thank you for caring. It helps ❤️

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@maone

Thanks so much. I’m taking each day at a time. First thing when I wake up is that this couldn’t have happened. I know nothing. I’m alone a lot but then that gives me time for prayer. How blessed to have Jesus ! I’m clinging to Him. My comfort,my strength. Thank you for caring. It helps ❤️

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@maone You are a strong woman, and being held up as an example by others, no doubt. It sounds like you have exhausted your resources. I hope your son may hear about your efforts, somehow, and understand how deeply his actions were felt by everyone. We're here for you. We care.
Ginger

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@maone Your are a strong women to go through this torture you are in . I pray you find solace in reading the Bible there are a lot of comforting words in it and prayer just talking to our Lord will help you God bless

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I am reading these posts while trying to get through this anniversary of my son's suicide from which there cannot ever be closure. So I understand the anguish of a son disappearing without saying goodbye. I can only say that continued support from people who understand, and frequent discussions with God, are the only things that help. And grief counseling. Blessings.

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