My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old.

Posted by maone @maone, Jul 30, 2019

He left his wife and family three months ago.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief group.

@maone

You know I posted in this group and I think I only got one response from the mentor?.

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Hello @maone,

As I look through the responses, I see that several mentors have responded to your posts as well as other members. As you are new to the Connect community you might not realize that other members respond to the posts as well as the mentors.

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@maone

Thanks so much !

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@maone Even though you feel he may have been planning this and that he may have felt he was doing this to protect others, I would file a missing persons report. If you have anything that they can get DNA from and keep it in their files, or anything with his fingerprints, all of this can be kept in a national or even International database. If his fingerprints or DNA come up anywhere they can be run through the data base and you may have some additional answers of what is going on. I know that this seems very clinical and dry, but it would help give closure. Like all of the others here I hope that you continue to keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Ginger

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I agree that submitting a missing person's report is a good idea. Anything that you can cross off your list, that you've tried, is at a tiny thing to give you a sense of doing something. I am reading your posts and am again grateful that we have this forum of caring people. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts.

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@maone

You know I posted in this group and I think I only got one response from the mentor?.

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Hello @maone, Are you checking your Spam filter. Sometimes posts do get put in there on occasion.

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@maone

You know I posted in this group and I think I only got one response from the mentor?.

Jump to this post

@maone – I know that you are undergoing a shocking change in your life, and again I can't imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine. The position of a volunteer mentor is not necessarily to "lead" a group. We started here just like everyone, looking for support and answers. As mentors we try and draw people out and share experiences, not to "rule over the nest." We welcome new members and hep guide discussions, staying away from controversial topics. We also help guide other members to join in conversations who might not be in a particular group, etc.
Mayo connect is a on-line community based on lots of inputs from lots of people, from all over the world. After I answered your first post so many people, including other mentors, came to your support that I didn't feel that it was necessary to basically say much of the same things. And what I mean by this is that what you are going through is so horrific that some of us really don't know what to say after our first response.
I am sorry if you have felt abandoned. If there is more that we can do or say please help guide us so that we do the best that we can for you.

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@maone

You know I posted in this group and I think I only got one response from the mentor?.

Jump to this post

@maone I, too, have been following your story, but could not think of anything new to help you. The whole story is just too horrible and I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel for you and your family. Do your sons friends know of places he liked to visit or just go to? Has he used a credit card at all? This can be traced. Also using an ATM can be traced. I’m sure you’ve done it all and I’m not much help. Please know that I think of you every day and pray for the best outcome.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @maone,

Just a thought: Have you and your family ever considered the possibility that your son may be in a witness protection program? I'm not sure how you would ever find out for sure about that, but it might fit the picture of what happened to him, especially since he visited beforehand and left clues that indicated that he knew something was about to change in his life.

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@maone @hopeful33250 As I read your posts the very thought I had was that he was a witness to something. Perhaps leaving meant safety to him and his family. I realize you will never know. My wish for you and all his family is that you are able to find peace.

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@maone – I have been thinking about what a struggle it must be for your family to make a decision of whether you will try and find him or just trust his word, that some how he is trying to protect you. Do you have any idea of what that might be?

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@becsbuddy

@maone I, too, have been following your story, but could not think of anything new to help you. The whole story is just too horrible and I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel for you and your family. Do your sons friends know of places he liked to visit or just go to? Has he used a credit card at all? This can be traced. Also using an ATM can be traced. I’m sure you’ve done it all and I’m not much help. Please know that I think of you every day and pray for the best outcome.

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He cut off all ties to anything and everyone. He planned this we can clearly see now. I think he’s not using his name or anything he had before. I do think he thought this was a way to maybe protect us but it wasn’t a wise thing to ever do. Thanks for caring.

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@becsbuddy

@maone I, too, have been following your story, but could not think of anything new to help you. The whole story is just too horrible and I can’t begin to tell you how bad I feel for you and your family. Do your sons friends know of places he liked to visit or just go to? Has he used a credit card at all? This can be traced. Also using an ATM can be traced. I’m sure you’ve done it all and I’m not much help. Please know that I think of you every day and pray for the best outcome.

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Thanks so much for your prayers. That’s what is keeping us going. I’ve had a case of something like food poisoning lately and am trying to get my strength back from that. Thanks for caring ❤️

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@merpreb

@maone – I know that you are undergoing a shocking change in your life, and again I can't imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine. The position of a volunteer mentor is not necessarily to "lead" a group. We started here just like everyone, looking for support and answers. As mentors we try and draw people out and share experiences, not to "rule over the nest." We welcome new members and hep guide discussions, staying away from controversial topics. We also help guide other members to join in conversations who might not be in a particular group, etc.
Mayo connect is a on-line community based on lots of inputs from lots of people, from all over the world. After I answered your first post so many people, including other mentors, came to your support that I didn't feel that it was necessary to basically say much of the same things. And what I mean by this is that what you are going through is so horrific that some of us really don't know what to say after our first response.
I am sorry if you have felt abandoned. If there is more that we can do or say please help guide us so that we do the best that we can for you.

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Oh, don’t be sorry. I’m ok. I just thought no one was in the group much. Any input from anyone is nice to have. Having people who care is nice and helps. I’m not completely sure how all of this works but I’m getting replies from both groups. I’m still having to go to my junk mail to find them ? That is weird. But at least I know where to look. God bless you for your thoughts and prayers

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@maone I haven't been posting to you for awhile but have read all the post from people here . Have you thought back in his life as if there was any problems that he may have gone into a witness protection program like @hopeful33250 suggested ? Did he witness anything in the past that might have been the problem why he disappeared? Ask his wife if she knows anything about why this may have happened but I'm sure the whole family is wracking there brain to figure this out . Sorry to say this but maybe it is something you never will find out now but there is always hope someday you will find him . You are in my prayers

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