1. < Loss & Grief
Mentor

Loss and Grief: How are you doing?

Posted by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor @hopeful33250, Jan 16, 2018

When my dad passed away several years ago I lost my keys 4 times in one month, I would wake up at 3 a.m. several days every week feeling startled. Sound familiar? These are reactions to grief. Grief is a very personal experience - everyone grieves differently – even in the same family because the relationship of a father is different than that of a wife or a granddaughter. Unfortunately, often we grieve alone. Sometimes we don’t want to “bother others” with our grief, and sometimes friends and family tell us that we should be over it by now. After all the person we lost was ill for a long time or was very old and “it was their time” or “they are in a better place now.” Sound familiar?

Grieving is often described as the "work of grief." It does feel like hard work doesn’t it? Grief can be difficult because of the many factors related to the loss. If the loss followed a prolonged, serious illness you undoubtedly did some “anticipatory grief work” prior to the actual death of the loved one. If the loss, however, was sudden, i.e., accident related, suicide, a result of crime, etc. the sense of grief is coupled with shock.

The relationship that you had with the loved one also affects your grief experience, i.e. was your relationship close or had it been strained? Do you feel guilt that you were not closer or do you feel guilty because you don’t feel you did enough to help while your loved one was ill?

Sometimes anger plays a part in the grief process. Did your loved one get poor medical treatment or a wrong and/or late diagnosis? Did your loved one not follow your doctor’s orders with regard to their health (diet, smoking, attention to meds or exercise)? All of these factors contribute to your experience of grief.

Also, some losses are not so evident to others. These would include a miscarriage or a stillborn. Sometimes these losses are not considered as relevant to others as the loss of a person who has lived a longer life. In the case of a miscarriage, others might not even be aware of your loss.

You may think of that person on anniversary dates (their birthday, date of their death) or you might think of them constantly. Unfortunately, sometime people say things that can multiply grief. Have you ever heard someone say, “you should be over this by now?” or “I had a similar experience and I’m OK.” Well, most likely their similar experience was not the same as yours. Thinking you should be over it might compound your grief with feelings of guilt or frustration.

Whether a recent loss, or a loss you experienced a long time ago, let’s talk about it. Whatever your experience, I'd like to hear your stories and together find a way to relocate that loved one so that we can experience peace in our lifetime.

Together let us support each other in our grief journey.

Teresa

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief Support Group.

Ron Rubenzer | @user_cha272278 | Aug 4, 2018

Loss is difficult. Exercise, enough sleep, proper diet, good friends (even your dog) comprise the backbone for eventusl recovery. “Changing your thoughts, changes your mood, “ according to depression expert- Dr. David Burns MD. I would definitely get help from friends and professionals AND a professional support group. I worked in cardiac rehab, leading support groups for wives who had lost their husbands. All of us together are more helpful than any single one of us is alone. Remember “Hope is the difference between sadness and depression.”

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 4, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "@shortshot Hi Nancy: You are right about the burden of the paperwork that follows a death...." + (show)
@hopeful33250

@shortshot Hi Nancy:

You are right about the burden of the paperwork that follows a death. I'm so sorry to hear that you are having problems with your family since Bob's passing. Family problems often enter into the situation as well and that is very unfortunate. Sometimes grief makes people act in unpredictable ways.

I hope that everyone will begin to settle down as time goes on, but please keep posting. We are here and we are ready to listen and support you.

Teresa

Jump to this post

Hello Nancy @shortshot

That is great that your CT scan showed no growth, that is such good news for you. I'm also glad to hear that you are getting an alert to wear, my mom has one and it gives us peace of mind.

I am so sorry to hear about Joy's condition. That was so good of you to offer them help in whatever way you can. When is your son planning on taking her on the 500 mile trip? That does sound like a difficult trip for someone so ill. I hope she does OK.

Keep in touch, Nancy. You have a lot going on in your life right now.

Teresa

REPLY
shortshot80 | @shortshot80 | Aug 13, 2018

Shortshot Nancy) Hello Teresa, sorry I haven't been here in a while, have been busy with attorney's and getting my will updated so everything is legal. I answered the letter that my daughter in law wrote, her letter and my response's' in the same letter. I also have been trying to just take care of me! I need time, rest, cry still, am lonely also, but I know it just takes time, which I have trouble with. I have really never given "me" time for anything. Now I have time but it's not the same, I guess. Just don't know what to do some days. Also my #2 son Randy was able to get medicine for his wife on August 3, and put her in the back seat and drove to her folks place over 500 miles so she could be near her mom. The doctor's told him that they couldn't do anything else for her and she would need to be on hospice. She has lung cancer and brain cancer and was in the hospital. She hasn't been able to eat. The doctors tried to get some agency to transport her to her folks, but it would cost $10,.000.00. So Randy just made the back seat as comfortable as he could and put her there.
I haven't heard anything since he left. I want to call, but I don't want to either. The call what ever would be said would put me back to - too many emotions .Sometimes they are hard to control and I'm tired. My last cat scan on the 25th of July, I found out on the 2nd of August is looking good, no more growth, just a small amount of fluid that has been there for quite a while. I'm on immune therapy which seems to be doing me some good. Not sick, just somewhat tired. I also have been going through old medical files and putting them in a pile to burn.
My friend that has been helping me with my book is still going through his problems that is brain cancer, radiation. He wants to come here to my home to help get the book finished, (I want that too!) I will call him Kevin, he is 51 year old person, ten years younger that my youngest. He has sort of "adopted me as his second mom (his mom has passed.) He was married for 20 years, his wife died of breast caner and has no children. Hey I have another "kid" to help when he can. It is nice to talk with him and I don't mind having another "kid". Have a great day! Nancy

REPLY
4 replies
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 13, 2018
In reply to @shortshot80 "Shortshot Nancy) Hello Teresa, sorry I haven't been here in a while, have been busy with..." + (show)
@shortshot80

Shortshot Nancy) Hello Teresa, sorry I haven't been here in a while, have been busy with attorney's and getting my will updated so everything is legal. I answered the letter that my daughter in law wrote, her letter and my response's' in the same letter. I also have been trying to just take care of me! I need time, rest, cry still, am lonely also, but I know it just takes time, which I have trouble with. I have really never given "me" time for anything. Now I have time but it's not the same, I guess. Just don't know what to do some days. Also my #2 son Randy was able to get medicine for his wife on August 3, and put her in the back seat and drove to her folks place over 500 miles so she could be near her mom. The doctor's told him that they couldn't do anything else for her and she would need to be on hospice. She has lung cancer and brain cancer and was in the hospital. She hasn't been able to eat. The doctors tried to get some agency to transport her to her folks, but it would cost $10,.000.00. So Randy just made the back seat as comfortable as he could and put her there.
I haven't heard anything since he left. I want to call, but I don't want to either. The call what ever would be said would put me back to - too many emotions .Sometimes they are hard to control and I'm tired. My last cat scan on the 25th of July, I found out on the 2nd of August is looking good, no more growth, just a small amount of fluid that has been there for quite a while. I'm on immune therapy which seems to be doing me some good. Not sick, just somewhat tired. I also have been going through old medical files and putting them in a pile to burn.
My friend that has been helping me with my book is still going through his problems that is brain cancer, radiation. He wants to come here to my home to help get the book finished, (I want that too!) I will call him Kevin, he is 51 year old person, ten years younger that my youngest. He has sort of "adopted me as his second mom (his mom has passed.) He was married for 20 years, his wife died of breast caner and has no children. Hey I have another "kid" to help when he can. It is nice to talk with him and I don't mind having another "kid". Have a great day! Nancy

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@shortshot Hello Nancy,

It is so good to hear from you. I'm glad that your daughter-in-law made it to her parents' place. I'm sure it will be a good thing for her and her parents.

I'm also glad that you have someone to help you with your book. Yes, it is always good to have another kid, isn't it? It sounds like you are a good mother.

How wonderful that your immunotherapy is working well without a lot of side effects, that is such a blessing for you.

You certainly have a lot of projects going on right now. Keeping busy is a good plan, Nancy.

Keep in touch and let me know how you are coming along, I enjoy hearing from you.

Wishing you many blessings,
Teresa

REPLY
Lisa Lucier | @lisalucier | Aug 22, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello All: I just happened to see this article from the New York times about grief..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hello All:

I just happened to see this article from the New York times about grief and I thought of you all. It is not heavy duty reading but instead a collection of pictures and thoughts about the unpredictableness of grief and the reactions of us and those around us. I would especially encourage you to look at "Triggers."

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/13/sunday-review/how-to-speak-grief.html

I'm wishing for you all memories that create a sense of gratitude and peace.

Teresa

Jump to this post

Hi, @muppey -- wanted to check in with you to see how things are going. How are you feeling these days?

REPLY
muppey | @muppey | Aug 23, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello All: I just happened to see this article from the New York times about grief..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hello All:

I just happened to see this article from the New York times about grief and I thought of you all. It is not heavy duty reading but instead a collection of pictures and thoughts about the unpredictableness of grief and the reactions of us and those around us. I would especially encourage you to look at "Triggers."

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/13/sunday-review/how-to-speak-grief.html

I'm wishing for you all memories that create a sense of gratitude and peace.

Teresa

Jump to this post

lisalucier, Thanks for the note! It seems I've developed an "attitude" which puts people off, but I'll get over it, the VA is helping me with therapists, and now a psychiatrist I tele-conference with from Stanford U. They want me to recall different things and stuff which make me so defensive/offensive???
One thing occurred in the Army where a Sargent pulled a .45 pistol on me and pointed it at my face and pulled the trigger, I cursed him a lot. "It's not loaded!" Stupid person, all guns are loaded. Latter he was bothering me while I was sleeping, he started throwing darts at me and poking holes in the freshly painted walls above my head, I finally grabbed a dart and flung it at him, not like playing darts but like a weapon. The dart stuck in the wall right inches above his head, they left me alone as they determined I was upset. Could have gone to prison if my aim was better.
Anyway the docs want me to talk about the many "violent" episodes and other things in my life to figure "What is your main malfunction?" I'll get it!
Thanks for asking and maybe I'll come back to this site more often as it's helped a lot. Our divorce is final on the 27th.
Take Care!
Mark

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 23, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello All: I just happened to see this article from the New York times about grief..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

Hello All:

I just happened to see this article from the New York times about grief and I thought of you all. It is not heavy duty reading but instead a collection of pictures and thoughts about the unpredictableness of grief and the reactions of us and those around us. I would especially encourage you to look at "Triggers."

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/13/sunday-review/how-to-speak-grief.html

I'm wishing for you all memories that create a sense of gratitude and peace.

Teresa

Jump to this post

@muppey Hi Mark:

While I know your post was directed to Lisa, I just wanted to stop in and say "hello." It is good to hear from you! I had also been thinking about you so I'm glad that you posted with an update. I'm pleased to hear that you are sticking with the therapy process (and it is a process as you well know). It sounds like you have the determination to make this work.

Calling up difficult memories from the past can be very unsettling, so I appreciate the hard work you are doing in that respect. Take it easy on yourself during this time. As you recall the difficult memories you need to be your own best friend.

You might consider keeping a journal with some of these memories. Sometimes it is easier to write about the tough stuff than it is to verbalize it.

Are you relieved that you are near the end of the divorce process? How does that feel for you?

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 23, 2018
In reply to @reibur1951 "I was asked by Teresa, Volunteer( https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/95110aa007ad79b253a017a5ebcc51b86505f8b82/ ) to move from https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/melodysplastic-syndrome-unspecified-myelofibroisis-1/?pg=2#comment-116386 We knew it was..." + (show)
@reibur1951

I was asked by Teresa, Volunteer( https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/95110aa007ad79b253a017a5ebcc51b86505f8b82/ )
to move from https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/melodysplastic-syndrome-unspecified-myelofibroisis-1/?pg=2#comment-116386

We knew it was inevitable that the Blood transfusion were only biding time - that there could eventually be a reaction to them or they would no longer work.:-

I knew something critical was happening with 6 in the last four weeks May 29-June 19 and a count of 6.5, 7.2, 6.4, 6.8 - like i said on the other thread what irked me was his comment of giving 6 units of blood all at once if he wanted them; then the trip to the ER on June 21-22 really topped it off I have no idea how I kept my cool and my thoughts to myself.... Tho its not in same location and under different name my mother worked in that hospital from 1954-1974; and her sister moved up from southern Indiana and started working there from 1968-1974 I was appalled at he being refused transport to I U Medical Center or Methodist given excuses that did not hold water - even after I said we would pay for the transport fees in necessary!

I feel we done our best on Monday June 25th getting him out of the house and down to I.U. Methodist E.R. I transported him myself in my personal vehicle with the heip of the son-in-law and son... we probably done the unconscionable in the son told him he was going if I called him back over as he and the son was physically going to carry him out I told the son-in-law to be back at 11:30 and we were gone... we had talked with son's oncologist research nurse and she had laid the ground work for our arrival at Methodist ER so we would not be refused and she talked to him what she said i am not sure but he called me back and asked about if paper work was ready he was sitting up in bed I faked that as I was not sure what he was talking about he acted like he was goign to start saying something and I just looked at him a told him the decision was his - he had to decide one way or another as his son had given up and was no longer willing to fight his lung cancer and walked out of the room - son-in-law came shortly after i told him what i had done next thing i knew he was frantically waving at me to get back there he had his pants up to knees but son-in-law could not hold him steady enough to get them up rest of way I had bought a rollator after son was diagnosed with lung cancer as I knew a wheel chair would not always be available they rolled out of beddroom inthat down the hall and when got to kitchen door of all things HE WANTED TO WALK DOWN THE THREE STAIRS and probably out to the car but he got lifted down it and rolled to the car in it.... he slept all the way to Indy tho he claims he only had his eyes closed...he made no attempt to talk so I know he did sleep all the way....

We are doing okay except wondering what we will do come winter... this place is a 1975 mobile home with major problems and a "dead horse" there are things in the works but he dragged his feet on proceeding till Feb. it could be as late as Oct. or Nov. before anything solid is known.

I have managed to get the cremation done and paid for... got into a fiasco with graves owned by his mother and him the township trustee claimed still owed money on and would not show son-in-law the books so after basically having a gun held to us and blackmailed I just went elsewhere to buy grave sites for the creamery house monument for him, his wife & 2 sons; the grave sites and the foundation is paid for... The grave sites ate up some of the monument money and I paid for the foundation out of my household money (SS) as not to cut into it anymore so will be very short on money this month but what the hell (oops) have been ever since all this started with him in Nov. 2016 and then add the sons trips to Indy since Oct.

We do expect to hear him yell for something.... miss him on the trips to Indy as he really was a real trooper with all going on with him he never refused to go until the last one for the CT-scan on the 25th he told us on Sunday we could go and he would stay home alone - but I canceled out immediately leaving a message on the oncologist research nurse cell phone.

The past two years he never really gave up but he did not want to go places only to the drs office; i did get him out to Walmart if i went but other than that he preferred to stay home.... before that we would go to the Eagles, American Legion and hear the local bands.

Like I said it was inevitable and I knew it... It was his time and he is relieved out of his suffering.... he never complained about health issues maybe he should of more... Its been a rough rough almost 2 years (all started Nov 7 2016) but so far we have managed to survive... I got to survive I promised him I would take care of his son, get him to his cancer treatments.... God will take care of us and provide for us...

Jump to this post

Hello @reibur1951

It has been a while since I've heard from you. I hope that you are doing OK. How is your friend's son doing with his cancer treatment?

It would be nice to hear from you with an update on your grief journey. Please post as you feel up to it. I've been thinking about you.

REPLY
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Aug 23, 2018
In reply to @shortshot80 "Shortshot Nancy) Hello Teresa, sorry I haven't been here in a while, have been busy with..." + (show)
@shortshot80

Shortshot Nancy) Hello Teresa, sorry I haven't been here in a while, have been busy with attorney's and getting my will updated so everything is legal. I answered the letter that my daughter in law wrote, her letter and my response's' in the same letter. I also have been trying to just take care of me! I need time, rest, cry still, am lonely also, but I know it just takes time, which I have trouble with. I have really never given "me" time for anything. Now I have time but it's not the same, I guess. Just don't know what to do some days. Also my #2 son Randy was able to get medicine for his wife on August 3, and put her in the back seat and drove to her folks place over 500 miles so she could be near her mom. The doctor's told him that they couldn't do anything else for her and she would need to be on hospice. She has lung cancer and brain cancer and was in the hospital. She hasn't been able to eat. The doctors tried to get some agency to transport her to her folks, but it would cost $10,.000.00. So Randy just made the back seat as comfortable as he could and put her there.
I haven't heard anything since he left. I want to call, but I don't want to either. The call what ever would be said would put me back to - too many emotions .Sometimes they are hard to control and I'm tired. My last cat scan on the 25th of July, I found out on the 2nd of August is looking good, no more growth, just a small amount of fluid that has been there for quite a while. I'm on immune therapy which seems to be doing me some good. Not sick, just somewhat tired. I also have been going through old medical files and putting them in a pile to burn.
My friend that has been helping me with my book is still going through his problems that is brain cancer, radiation. He wants to come here to my home to help get the book finished, (I want that too!) I will call him Kevin, he is 51 year old person, ten years younger that my youngest. He has sort of "adopted me as his second mom (his mom has passed.) He was married for 20 years, his wife died of breast caner and has no children. Hey I have another "kid" to help when he can. It is nice to talk with him and I don't mind having another "kid". Have a great day! Nancy

Jump to this post

@shortshot Hi Nancy:

Just checking in to say "hello." I hope you are continuing to do OK with your immunotherapy treatments. How is your daughter-in-law, Joy? Still working on your book?

REPLY
reibur1951 | @reibur1951 | Aug 23, 2018
In reply to @reibur1951 "I was asked by Teresa, Volunteer( https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/95110aa007ad79b253a017a5ebcc51b86505f8b82/ ) to move from https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/melodysplastic-syndrome-unspecified-myelofibroisis-1/?pg=2#comment-116386 We knew it was..." + (show)
@reibur1951

I was asked by Teresa, Volunteer( https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/95110aa007ad79b253a017a5ebcc51b86505f8b82/ )
to move from https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/melodysplastic-syndrome-unspecified-myelofibroisis-1/?pg=2#comment-116386

We knew it was inevitable that the Blood transfusion were only biding time - that there could eventually be a reaction to them or they would no longer work.:-

I knew something critical was happening with 6 in the last four weeks May 29-June 19 and a count of 6.5, 7.2, 6.4, 6.8 - like i said on the other thread what irked me was his comment of giving 6 units of blood all at once if he wanted them; then the trip to the ER on June 21-22 really topped it off I have no idea how I kept my cool and my thoughts to myself.... Tho its not in same location and under different name my mother worked in that hospital from 1954-1974; and her sister moved up from southern Indiana and started working there from 1968-1974 I was appalled at he being refused transport to I U Medical Center or Methodist given excuses that did not hold water - even after I said we would pay for the transport fees in necessary!

I feel we done our best on Monday June 25th getting him out of the house and down to I.U. Methodist E.R. I transported him myself in my personal vehicle with the heip of the son-in-law and son... we probably done the unconscionable in the son told him he was going if I called him back over as he and the son was physically going to carry him out I told the son-in-law to be back at 11:30 and we were gone... we had talked with son's oncologist research nurse and she had laid the ground work for our arrival at Methodist ER so we would not be refused and she talked to him what she said i am not sure but he called me back and asked about if paper work was ready he was sitting up in bed I faked that as I was not sure what he was talking about he acted like he was goign to start saying something and I just looked at him a told him the decision was his - he had to decide one way or another as his son had given up and was no longer willing to fight his lung cancer and walked out of the room - son-in-law came shortly after i told him what i had done next thing i knew he was frantically waving at me to get back there he had his pants up to knees but son-in-law could not hold him steady enough to get them up rest of way I had bought a rollator after son was diagnosed with lung cancer as I knew a wheel chair would not always be available they rolled out of beddroom inthat down the hall and when got to kitchen door of all things HE WANTED TO WALK DOWN THE THREE STAIRS and probably out to the car but he got lifted down it and rolled to the car in it.... he slept all the way to Indy tho he claims he only had his eyes closed...he made no attempt to talk so I know he did sleep all the way....

We are doing okay except wondering what we will do come winter... this place is a 1975 mobile home with major problems and a "dead horse" there are things in the works but he dragged his feet on proceeding till Feb. it could be as late as Oct. or Nov. before anything solid is known.

I have managed to get the cremation done and paid for... got into a fiasco with graves owned by his mother and him the township trustee claimed still owed money on and would not show son-in-law the books so after basically having a gun held to us and blackmailed I just went elsewhere to buy grave sites for the creamery house monument for him, his wife & 2 sons; the grave sites and the foundation is paid for... The grave sites ate up some of the monument money and I paid for the foundation out of my household money (SS) as not to cut into it anymore so will be very short on money this month but what the hell (oops) have been ever since all this started with him in Nov. 2016 and then add the sons trips to Indy since Oct.

We do expect to hear him yell for something.... miss him on the trips to Indy as he really was a real trooper with all going on with him he never refused to go until the last one for the CT-scan on the 25th he told us on Sunday we could go and he would stay home alone - but I canceled out immediately leaving a message on the oncologist research nurse cell phone.

The past two years he never really gave up but he did not want to go places only to the drs office; i did get him out to Walmart if i went but other than that he preferred to stay home.... before that we would go to the Eagles, American Legion and hear the local bands.

Like I said it was inevitable and I knew it... It was his time and he is relieved out of his suffering.... he never complained about health issues maybe he should of more... Its been a rough rough almost 2 years (all started Nov 7 2016) but so far we have managed to survive... I got to survive I promised him I would take care of his son, get him to his cancer treatments.... God will take care of us and provide for us...

Jump to this post

We are hanging in.... got his death certificate and not a bit happy with the ER they only hastened his death by taking away his lasix his BNP said he had fulid around his heart the death listed primary as acute respiratory acidosis & cardoorgenic shock secondary was Hemopneumothorax, (this was caused by the CPR they should not of preformed because he had a DNR but the nurses did not relate to each other between the transfer from one flora to the other or they did not band him as such) yes i did hand in the paper work and they did find it after i they started & immediately stopped and Cardiac tamponade, which could of been the combo of the Chest compression and the fluid that was already there to begin with I should not never left when i did to come back home to get his son for his treatment the next day and so he could be with his father before hand hind-site better than foresight....

His son not sure of he been having more of a cough, the lymph node which decreased in the arm pit has grew in size, the tumor in lung has not increased but the area behind has collapsed some what the other lymph nodes affected has not changed any. They said another scan in 6 weeks but i look for it sooner he goes back for the immunology on the 5th that every 3 weeks he is tolerating it very well he tolerated the 12 week chemo very well it was a cyle of 2 chemos & immunology week one and week 2 & 3 a chemo it is to be the standard treatment for lung cancer we were told he had som hair loss and some nueropathy in his feet hair has come back - still haing some of the neropathy

Going through a lot of BS with the daughter & son-in-law he started help clean up the property walked off with stuff sold to an antique dealer brought back some cash but no receipts; walked off with some tools.... but threw a fit when I sold an old car title in my name first with my SS#; and had read to sell another that I had bill of sale for it was one that was for parts only and alot was gone off of it told the guy who bought it I had not right to sell anything... the scrape we salvaged for food and gas money and we were to use when needed so now can't do that I had started cleaning the big trash pile the daughter/son created from hauling stuff/overflow from a Good Samaritan shop but stopped when it go so hot & friend turn bad the 8 transfusions in 5 weeks from in May to day he died 28 June.... So I have switched into Bitch mode.... she called last night offered hamburger helper only but got to be careful because of the preservation and some chicken I just politely told her we would find out own food and hung up on her we are chicken ed out as we have ate a lot of the last month it as friend would not eat it could buy a rotisserie cooked chicken for under $6 and made 2 meals Social Security does not go far and what son has goes first for medical bills... but we have managed thus far to have what we need to eat...

The paper work for what I was talking about is through just waiting for the final deeds properties I have the paper the judge signed were in his moms name as yet so had me file adverse possession so I could have to take care of him, his son and get us out of here... the house he liked with wind generator is still on the market I went by it today... it hopefully will be all done within a few weeks or by end of Sept or early Oct. I hope I have been cleaning sorting, packing and I was tossing my old pans out on the scrape pile that I was indirectly told I can not sell I am trying to not let angry get the best of me

Like I said we knew it was coming that the blood transfusion was only a patch and either he would have a reaction to them or they would no longer help He is at rest now He was having a hard time with the heat and humidity those last weeks besides the 6 transfusion the last 2 were the day he died....

I know I done all I could I was the one who sat in the doctors offices with him in the outpatient surgery 6-8 hours when he had transfusions and the Er for 6 hours and then drove him to INdy with help of son with lung cancer and son-in-law drove them home that night turned around and went back the next morning... and was with him when he died.... I got to hang in and be there for the son...

God gives us no more than we can handle and he will provide....

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