1. < Caregivers: Dementia

Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”

Posted by tryingtimes10 @tryingtimes10, Dec 31, 2024

My husband was diagnosed with MCI in 2019. He is pretty independent, just forgetful of time, dates, location of places, anything electronic & events from our life together (we’ve been married 52 years). It’s all just getting to me. I find myself wanting to be alone so I’m not continuously reminded of these changes. Because my friends/family are out of state, working, or involved with their own families, I really have no one to talk to so I’m seeing a therapist twice a week to deal with the sadness, anger, grief I have over his condition. I just wonder if other women find themselves in this position & how they are dealing with it.

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steilacoomcaregiver | @steilacoomcaregiver | 2 days ago
In reply to @rubyredkate "I hear your pain and im saddened for you. I think the hardest part of living..." + (show)
@rubyredkate

I hear your pain and im saddened for you. I think the hardest part of living with his memory loss is the constant push back. Im trying to do the best for us but often receive passive aggressive behavior. It’s exhausting! Especially when i have to keep doing research for him because he wants to “think about it”. Such a waste of my time and energy because he can’t remember what Ive already found out about the issue. My Life is a merry go round.

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The Neurologist accepts " I want to think about it" which annoys me because it delays testing and treatment. He finally started on Aricept and with Speech Therapist for Cognitive/Organizatioh/Memory help after PET Scan and PsychNeurogical Assessment. If it is noninvasive and effective I say give it a try.

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dltstoose | @dltstoose | 19 hours ago

I have been caring for my husband since 1993, it is in the last 3 yrs that he has gotten worse. I am tired all the time and it is only the two of us. No family or friends to help. Worse he only has Medicare Part A so can not afford to put him in a care home or I will lose the house as can not live on my own SS. They said he could get back Part B when he stopped it but did not tell us it would cost over $750.00 for the rest of his life.

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marye2 | @marye2 | 1 hour ago
In reply to @dltstoose "I have been caring for my husband since 1993, it is in the last 3 yrs..." + (show)
@dltstoose

I have been caring for my husband since 1993, it is in the last 3 yrs that he has gotten worse. I am tired all the time and it is only the two of us. No family or friends to help. Worse he only has Medicare Part A so can not afford to put him in a care home or I will lose the house as can not live on my own SS. They said he could get back Part B when he stopped it but did not tell us it would cost over $750.00 for the rest of his life.

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Contact the Council on Aging to get advice and, perhaps, some help in managing his care and finances. I took the Essential Caregiving Class and am going to the Medicaid class for help in figuring out my finances for future Medicaid care for my LO. Set up properly, the spouse does not lose the house. I am surprised that the Part B premium is not coming out of his Social Security, but imagine he may have signed up late: ask Council on Aging for advice. I have also found Denise Early, a blogger, to be helpful in explaining things. It does sound like better help or an advocate is needed to sort out your finances--it is also about your safety as you age. We also recently got a HECM reverse mortgage to help with income should I be left on my own low SS.

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