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Sister still drinking despite consequences, any advice?
Hi. I had a liver transplant and am not a drinker. Never really was much of one except for college. My sister is 61 and recently divorced with two adult kids. Her drinking was the biggest factor in her divorce. She finally hit bottom in her family's eyes with a DUI and was too drunk to show up for her court date. Only a very good lawyer has kept her out of jail. She has also got drunk and fallen 3 times and has had 2 brain surgeries. Somehow minor enough to be shortly released. She somehow still lives to drink (in our eyes and behind everyone's back). Has had terrible fights and has cut off most of her sons, friends brothers, mom, etc. . Admits now she has a problem but still lies whenever her mouth opens and refuses inpatient or outpatient treatment. And continues to believe she can drink and "just cut down" despite 3 serious falls, two accidents , two brain surgeries, excetera in the last 6 months. My wife, brother , nephews, friends and I have strongly counseled her to get help before she kills herself or someone else. But she defies logic and insists she can live without treatment/help and has either broken off relations with or barely puts up with her circle of people. I know it has to be her decision and I (we) can't do it for her but any suggestions from you guys who have more experience in this topic than I do. Than you.
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Take care and save you. It is important to realize when the natural consequences of any problematic behavior comorbitity etc need to take over.
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2 Reactions@trooperdogg1960 yep I started going to them AA classes when I was 12 it was me and one lady in the basement of a psych hospital that's when I first heard of drugs I have not missed a meeting in 26 days mandatory it's Ieitger faith based 12 step or NA or AA BE glad when I get it the phase 2 and I start work in the evens closing a store so that's going knock out a few of them
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2 ReactionsProbably won't stop but it's not impossible I am fortunate that I when I get to the bottom or know I am bout to literal die go into the phych hospital and do medical detox but everyone I think has to just pray she sees the light they are big on prayer here I honestly couldn't tell that I would not be having my 2 a day if I wasn't in sober living. I have a lady here who just turned 68 she got sent to prison for a fourth DUI and got out a year and half ago she is now office and house manager so it can happen hers had to be the prison route and I find it very hard to believe she will ever touch the stuff ago.thats a pretty tough thing to deal with the liver cancer and I will pray there is some people here that turn into such prayer warrior I do see miracles God be with Jennifer c
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2 Reactions@jennroseclark
Really appreciate the post but punctuation would help. Not trying to be snarky at all, just difficult to follow the stream of thought.
In recovery for 26 years. Two inpatient treatments, the last 90 days. Alcohol almost killed me. I knew I was an alcoholic but just didn't want to stop despite the fact I was getting no enjoyment from drinking and it caused significant problems in my life. That's addiction in a nutshell.
The only suggestion I have is for a female recovering alcoholic in recovery/AA to meet with her and tell her story to your sister and invite her to a meeting. Long shot but you never know if it would click with the right person. That is why AA has gotten millions of people sober over almost 100 years when other methods have failed.
Good luck to you.
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3 ReactionsTell her my constant story what I found out 30 years ago. I’m 78 years old and I am in charge of my life, not alcohol!
I have found out the last 30 years how wonderful it is to be in control and responsible of my life. I love this time where I can be good things and feel wonderful each day.
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2 Reactions@jennroseclark You should be very proud of yourself. You've come a long way since meeting in a basement! It sounds like you're enjoying life the way one should when making healthy choices. You've found something that works for you marvelously. I wish more people could.
I enjoyed reading your input and look forward to seeing more. Enjoy your day!!!
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2 Reactions@jennroseclark I am just curious. Does the sober living know you are having two a day? If there is an AA Big Book there, I suggest reading the first 164 pages. Can't hurt, might help. I lost my partner of 28 years from alcoholism. I found him dead in the floor. He did not believe it would kill him. I guess, part of me did not either, but he was 56. His liver was spent, pancreas, varicies in his esophagus and I had already taken him to the ER 6 times in the span of a year. This is just to let you know that sometimes the bottom is like his and people sometimes, do not come back. Alcohol and other drugs do that, more than not. I want you to live.
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3 ReactionsI have been sober for 1 year and twenty nine days. I go to my AA meetings and have great friends and people who have been through what I have been through my whole life , which was alcohol controlling it. Last year I went into a coma , and then I had to learn how to walk again , talk again and basically learn to love life again. Im currently on the list for a liver transplant. Chose life over alcohol!! Your sister needs to make that choice.
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2 ReactionsHi @tj2691, Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect.
One year and 29 days is an incredible accomplishment—congratulations! Reaching the one-year milestone is often one of the most challenging parts of the recovery journey.
While life's challenges don't necessarily disappear in recovery, the way you face them can change. Having a strong, healthy support network can make all the difference, providing encouragement, accountability, and strength during both the difficult moments and the successes along the way.
@tj2691, what has been the biggest change you have seen in yourself over the past year?