1. < Addiction & Recovery
Profile picture for craigcraig

Sister still drinking despite consequences, any advice?

Posted by craigcraig @craigcraig, Jun 28 5:58am

Hi. I had a liver transplant and am not a drinker. Never really was much of one except for college. My sister is 61 and recently divorced with two adult kids. Her drinking was the biggest factor in her divorce. She finally hit bottom in her family's eyes with a DUI and was too drunk to show up for her court date. Only a very good lawyer has kept her out of jail. She has also got drunk and fallen 3 times and has had 2 brain surgeries. Somehow minor enough to be shortly released. She somehow still lives to drink (in our eyes and behind everyone's back). Has had terrible fights and has cut off most of her sons, friends brothers, mom, etc. . Admits now she has a problem but still lies whenever her mouth opens and refuses inpatient or outpatient treatment. And continues to believe she can drink and "just cut down" despite 3 serious falls, two accidents , two brain surgeries, excetera in the last 6 months. My wife, brother , nephews, friends and I have strongly counseled her to get help before she kills herself or someone else. But she defies logic and insists she can live without treatment/help and has either broken off relations with or barely puts up with her circle of people. I know it has to be her decision and I (we) can't do it for her but any suggestions from you guys who have more experience in this topic than I do. Than you.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Addiction & Recovery Support Group.

Profile picture for kb2014
kb2014 | @kb2014 | 1 day ago

Take care and save you. It is important to realize when the natural consequences of any problematic behavior comorbitity etc need to take over.

REPLY
Profile picture for jennroseclark
jennroseclark | @jennroseclark | 1 day ago
In reply to @trooperdogg1960 "@jennroseclark Laffin at 13th step. I spent 6 months in a mens residential alcohol treatment facility...." + (show)
Profile picture for trooperdogg1960 @trooperdogg1960

@jennroseclark Laffin at 13th step.
I spent 6 months in a mens residential alcohol treatment facility. On weekends we'd pile in cars and troll the womens residential alcohol treatment centers for coed meetings. Orange County California had some rockin meetings back in the late 1990s!!

Jump to this post

@trooperdogg1960 yep I started going to them AA classes when I was 12 it was me and one lady in the basement of a psych hospital that's when I first heard of drugs I have not missed a meeting in 26 days mandatory it's Ieitger faith based 12 step or NA or AA BE glad when I get it the phase 2 and I start work in the evens closing a store so that's going knock out a few of them

REPLY
1 reply
Profile picture for jennroseclark
jennroseclark | @jennroseclark | 23 hours ago

Probably won't stop but it's not impossible I am fortunate that I when I get to the bottom or know I am bout to literal die go into the phych hospital and do medical detox but everyone I think has to just pray she sees the light they are big on prayer here I honestly couldn't tell that I would not be having my 2 a day if I wasn't in sober living. I have a lady here who just turned 68 she got sent to prison for a fourth DUI and got out a year and half ago she is now office and house manager so it can happen hers had to be the prison route and I find it very hard to believe she will ever touch the stuff ago.thats a pretty tough thing to deal with the liver cancer and I will pray there is some people here that turn into such prayer warrior I do see miracles God be with Jennifer c

REPLY
Profile picture for retireddoc
retireddoc | @retireddoc | 14 hours ago
In reply to @jennroseclark "As a drinker who is now sober for 20 I am what you call a on..." + (show)
Profile picture for jennroseclark @jennroseclark

As a drinker who is now sober for 20 I am what you call a on and off alcoholic people say that doesn't exist but it has been my life since I was 11vand started drinking with my parents who were both alcoholics I have the only way I can stay sober is actually living in a women's sober living house if I am not surrounded by sober people who I keep on eye on me and love me I can't do it it on my own I usually quit cold turkey and come here when it gets so bad or I finally spend and burn them bridges that allow me to drink I am not a drinker per day that gets wasted every day but when I drink it's always the same thing a 8 percent twisted tea and bud chelada in my head in that mindset the tomatoes juice is good for me this past round was bad I went from 153 lbs to 104 in less than 5 months it took losing my Aunt Sharon my step mom and then I called sober living which I live at now and at the time went to the hospital for medical detox because I knew I was about to kill myself my daddy then died of covid only 4vdays after my stepmom and I didn't find out for several days as I was still in hospital I loved my dad very much and they had cut me out from there life's a long time ago but rgt after my stepmom died I had called him and that conversation was the most beautiful day of my life yes I can stop giving the money to buy the alcohol and I wouldn't suggest talking and taking every drink call but never please not answer that phone if you could ever get her on a medical detox or 28 program I would suggest on oxford house they run kinda like our program and I stay cold stone sober here and I am happy and free of addiction. Hope this helps God bless know you are not alone

Jump to this post

@jennroseclark
Really appreciate the post but punctuation would help. Not trying to be snarky at all, just difficult to follow the stream of thought.

REPLY
Profile picture for retireddoc
retireddoc | @retireddoc | 14 hours ago

In recovery for 26 years. Two inpatient treatments, the last 90 days. Alcohol almost killed me. I knew I was an alcoholic but just didn't want to stop despite the fact I was getting no enjoyment from drinking and it caused significant problems in my life. That's addiction in a nutshell.

The only suggestion I have is for a female recovering alcoholic in recovery/AA to meet with her and tell her story to your sister and invite her to a meeting. Long shot but you never know if it would click with the right person. That is why AA has gotten millions of people sober over almost 100 years when other methods have failed.

Good luck to you.

REPLY
Profile picture for BoneHead
BoneHead | @stsopoci | 14 hours ago

Tell her my constant story what I found out 30 years ago. I’m 78 years old and I am in charge of my life, not alcohol!
I have found out the last 30 years how wonderful it is to be in control and responsible of my life. I love this time where I can be good things and feel wonderful each day.

REPLY
Profile picture for trooperdogg1960
trooperdogg1960 | @trooperdogg1960 | 13 hours ago
In reply to @jennroseclark "@trooperdogg1960 yep I started going to them AA classes when I was 12 it was me..." + (show)
Profile picture for jennroseclark @jennroseclark

@trooperdogg1960 yep I started going to them AA classes when I was 12 it was me and one lady in the basement of a psych hospital that's when I first heard of drugs I have not missed a meeting in 26 days mandatory it's Ieitger faith based 12 step or NA or AA BE glad when I get it the phase 2 and I start work in the evens closing a store so that's going knock out a few of them

Jump to this post

@jennroseclark You should be very proud of yourself. You've come a long way since meeting in a basement! It sounds like you're enjoying life the way one should when making healthy choices. You've found something that works for you marvelously. I wish more people could.
I enjoyed reading your input and look forward to seeing more. Enjoy your day!!!
REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.