Learning from caregiving & sharing to help others: Meet @nrocpop

TERESA: What brought you to Mayo Clinic Connect?

@nrocpop: The reasons I joined Mayo Clinic Connect are the two beloved people in the picture above: my mom and my husband. 

In 2019, my mother told me that she just did not feel right and that she was going to get an angioplasty. I considered what I had seen with the cardiologist a few years earlier and I felt certain that she did not need angioplasty. I suggested she get a complete physical and second opinion. She chose to go to Mayo Clinic. Sadly, they discovered that she had advanced diffuse gastric cancer. I stuck by her side during palliative care until she departed this life in August of 2020. 

My husband, Carlos, was moving furniture and such when he said he was just not feeling as strong as he used to. Soon, he was having bad smelling burps and losing weight. It turned out to be stage 4 gastric cancer of a different type. Fortunately, I got him into Mayo Clinic the very next week. The surgeon did exploratory surgery (among other things) and thought he may be able to help Carlos. Miraculously, and thanks to his surgeon, and the rest of his medical team at Mayo Clinic, he is still with us five years later.

TERESA: What motivates you to take part in Mayo Clinic Connect?

@nrocpop: When I heard of Mayo Clinic Connect, I told Carlos about it. He had no interest in joining as he did not want anything reminding him of cancer. But he was in FULL support of my joining the community and using all I had learned to try and offer help and support to other people who may find themselves in similar situations. 

TERESA: What about Mayo Clinic Connect makes you feel comfortable to share and to be open with the community?

@nrocpop: I have struggled as a caregiver in different ways in each case. I hope that I am able to share things I have learned through my experiences helping those close to me that have/had cancer. I also hope to learn by participating.

TERESA: What support groups do you participate in?

@nrocpop: I look over all of the questions but I mostly answer ones about gastric cancer in the Cancer support group,in particular the types of chemotherapy and radiation Carlos and my mom got and managing side effects like neuropathy. 

I also contribute about places to stay in Rochester in Visiting Mayo Clinic and about  caregiving (if it is similar to my experience) and other things I have first-hand experience with in the Caregivers support group. Sometimes I consult with Carlos to be sure I am conveying things correctly. 

TERESA: Tell us about a meaningful moment you've experienced on Mayo Clinic Connect. 

@nrocpop: I found that going through my mother's cancer experience, her death, the distribution of her estate and Carlos' cancer battle to be supremely difficult. I lost interest in many things and just tried to survive day to day. It means something to me if I can make experiencing something similar even a tiny bit easier for someone else. 

TERESA: What surprised you the most about Mayo Clinic Connect?

@nrocpop: There have been times that I have felt very alone. I don't want others to feel that way, which is part of why I wanted to join Mayo Clinic Connect. However, one day I realized that I have never been alone. I had the best possible partner -- Mayo Clinic.

TERESA: Tell us about your favorite pastime or activity.

@nrocpop: Now that Carlos has been doing somewhat better, I have gradually begun to return to my old self. I have returned to being the music director at church. I am a pianist and I love having that back in my life. There are a couple of other things that have buoyed me up during the hard times. Shortly before we lost my mother, I became a grandmother. That gave me a new lease on life. 

TERESA: What do you love about where you live or vacation?

@nrocpop: I live in Michigan near Lake Huron and the oldest lighthouse in Michigan. There is just something wonderful about being near the water. One of the places the three of us were sometimes fortunate enough to go was the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, pictured above.

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