dear blindeyepug, i should have replied with this information to you sooner but here goes as per your request. some of my wonderful conditions are ptsd, psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis, stage 3 kidney failure, anemia, diabetes stage 2, high blood pressure, vein blood flow, stomach ulcers (h-pylori), heart failure, slow thyroid, macular degeneration, glaucoma and bi-polar. so far am still driving, shopping, cleaning house, etc., etc. AND watching much, much television. boy, has tv changed since we got one at my age 13. an 8" screen, a signal all day and at about 5pm it's HOWDY DOODY TIME. see, life does get better. i am 80 now and still have my problems at times horrible anxieties but somewhat better than years ago. there are times of enjoyment which i appreciate more now than ever. love to all.and be glad you don't have to take the 14 medications i need to.
dear magspierce, i have a similar background. to yours. horrible. for me, the worst part is the loneliness that goes along with my story. the animals help very much. also keeping as busy as i can. wish there were other ways to heal that would fit in with the different lifestyles we live. anyway, keep smiling. i have made it to age 80. so far, so good. take care.
Thanks @peach414144! That's wonderful you are 80, I'm 64. Some things that really help me is writing, especially poetry. Most of my poems have been written when I'm having down times and it helps me to start feeling better, remembering I have so much to be thankful for. Also, I color. Sometimes in adult coloring books, (they're not what you might think if not familiar with them), other times I draw with the colors or color pencils & draw/color my feelings and label them. I usually take my "homework" to my therapy appointments and share them with my psychologist. She has been extremely helpful in guiding me in ways to deal with my feelings when they come up, that I make my own homework usually.
What kind of animals do you have? I rescued a dog a year ago, but I think she actually rescued me. She is a lot of company and comfort, I don't know what I would do without her now. You take care too and have a good evening!
dear magspierce, i have a similar background. to yours. horrible. for me, the worst part is the loneliness that goes along with my story. the animals help very much. also keeping as busy as i can. wish there were other ways to heal that would fit in with the different lifestyles we live. anyway, keep smiling. i have made it to age 80. so far, so good. take care.
hi there, i did much coloring when hiding in the closet, hiding from being beaten. now, i at times still do color in children's coloring books, or sketch and color. for many years i have "saved" older cats and dogs. not many people seem to want them. and especially now, i do not want them to outlive me. at the moment i have an 11 year old chihuwawa, a 13 year old 70 lb. heinz variety and 2 old cats. no more until i go to "rainbow bridge" to pick up my friends on the way to heaven. i say this with a smile. you are right. the animals are here to save us. there are so many ways to keep busy even if it is just to dance to the music when washing the dishes or look out the window to see the flowers, the wind rocking the trees, a bird a butterfly. all the miracles to be appreciated. listen to the radio talk shows. especially at night when you cant sleep. and on and on. if you can still dance, go to a dance even if you go alone. so what. enjoy.. even just take a walk and watch everything. good talking. next time. barbpeach
I also have been dealing with PTSD, along with chronic depression, and anxiety. I was abused as a child and young adult, sexually, physically, emotionally/mentally. I was told many times that I was worthless & would never amount to anything by family members. I am learning to deal with the triggers that take me back to the abuse in healthier ways. I'm happy to see a group on here and be able to share with others who have gone through similar situations. Today is my first day on the connection and look forward to helping others and also learning from other's experiences of how they deal with or cope with their feelings as they come up.
Welcome, @magspierce. I deal with the same mental health issues, though I didn't experience abuse at home. I was bullied some at school, but depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal ideation developed over the course of many years, dealing with very low self worth and other things, coming to a head when I was 55. I've been climbing out of that hole now for 12 years, with the help of some good therapists along the way.
I hope you'll feel comfortable with the conversations here, and will join in as much as you like.
dear magspierce, i have a similar background. to yours. horrible. for me, the worst part is the loneliness that goes along with my story. the animals help very much. also keeping as busy as i can. wish there were other ways to heal that would fit in with the different lifestyles we live. anyway, keep smiling. i have made it to age 80. so far, so good. take care.
I too suffer from PTSD and chronic depression. During the '80s and early '90s, I suffered from tremendous pain in my back and down my right leg. I had had two back surgeries when I was 17 and 18; one was for a spinal tumor. After my second surgery, the pain down my leg came back. By that time I had moved to a different town, so I went to see a neurologist. He told me all I had was a cyst on my spine and it shouldn't be causing me any pain. I asked him whether it could be another tumor, and of course, he said no. So I went home and tried to deal with my pain. I saw him several times more over the next seven years, telling him that my pain was getting much worse each time I saw him. I also saw a handful of other doctors trying to find the reason for my pain. They all told me it was all in my head, or I was looking for attention, or I was just looking for pain pills. Finally, after seven years of agonizing pain, and taking 56 Advil a day for the pain, I landed in the emergency room throwing up blood from a bleeding ulcer from all the Advil. The nurse gave me the name of another neurologist to see. So I went to him, and he did an MRI on my spine. What came back really threw me for a loop. I indeed had another spine tumor, this one was the size of three large grapefruits, and when it was finally removed, it weighed 8 pounds. Because the tumor was so large, I had to have one surgery on my back and one surgery from the front, because it had grown through my sacrum and into my pelvis. They had to cut the nerve roots at the spine so that the tumor would not grow back. Because of that, I could no longer walk. My right leg would not work. During that time I was in pain, and the doctors telling me it was all in my head, my family didn't believe that I was really in pain. I spent seven years living in my room never leaving to go anywhere and angry as hell that I had to live that way. It has taken me 26 years to deal with all I went through, but I still can't get past the anger I feel towards all the doctors who wouldn't believe that I was in so much pain. I have had to have seven spine surgeries in all, with my last one being in 2016. I now have to walk with a cane and have so much metal in my spine just to hold it upright. I hurt my back when I was 16 and am now 52 and still dealing with pain and anger. Of course, it's not the same pain I had back then, but I still have to live with pain every day. And now with the crack down on people with chronic pain and getting the medicine we need just to live a normal life because, of course, all of us with chronic pain abuse our pain meds, I might not be able to get the pain medication I need. It is really frustrating. Thank you all for letting me vent. It does help to get this off my chest.
dear magspierce, i have a similar background. to yours. horrible. for me, the worst part is the loneliness that goes along with my story. the animals help very much. also keeping as busy as i can. wish there were other ways to heal that would fit in with the different lifestyles we live. anyway, keep smiling. i have made it to age 80. so far, so good. take care.
@magspierce, my dogs have been a lifeline to me, as well. We heard about a newborn runt of the litter who was the last pup left because people didn't select him until I showed up the day before he was going to be put down. He died February of '16. He was an accidental Aussie/Border Collie mix, and was loved for 9 years. I trained him to be my service dog, and losing him to a possible stroke was really, really difficult. I planted a garden bed over his grave. I still grieve. A month after Barnabas (which means son of encouragement in the Bible) died, my wife and I stopped by the local humane society shelter and met my new service dog, Sadie. She means a lot to me, even more than our other pet dog, in a different way, and she's always with me. It's amazing how much therapy an animal can provide.
I also had abuse when I was a child, have you ever heard of CPTSD (Complex). I don't believe it's recognized but when I read it it was exactly me! It was PTSD but just a little different. It's not a matter of one incident it's a matter of constant abuse over time. There are support groups out there that have helped me understand and help me work my way back and learning to trust , I do not fear every person that comes into my life.
Welcome, and thank you for the information. Does the "C" stand for childhood? I wasn't abused by anyone as a child, other than some bullying in school, but suffered trauma by employers, and people who slandered me and spread libelous false rumors about me, and exposure to some grizzly things as an EMT. Civilian PTSD. I was never in the military, but sometimes I wish I had.
I'm alarmed by the statistics of childhood trauma and abuse. It's always existed, and maybe we're just becoming more aware of it, but I'm saddened and angry when I read or hear what horrific treatment is heaped on innocent children, and on adults, as well. I'm sorry that you were so damaged as a child. I know that there are things that we can't simply put behind us, but they continue to haunt us long after the abuse stopped. You're wise, as well as fortunate, to have made the progress you have. That's surely a very difficult process that often takes a lifetime to achieve. I've been helped over the past decade by several good therapists, as well as the loving support of my wife, and by the companionship and therapy provided by my service dogs. I hope that you will continue to experience healing.
@wendllzmom I too have CPTSD (Complex Post Tramatic Stress Disorder, for those not familiar with it) stemming to my multiple instances of abuse as a child and young adult. Glad you found support groups that have helped you understand and learn to trust again. I too have found a support group & an excellent psychologist that helps me on my road to recovery.
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dear blindeyepug, i should have replied with this information to you sooner but here goes as per your request. some of my wonderful conditions are ptsd, psoriatic and rheumatoid arthritis, stage 3 kidney failure, anemia, diabetes stage 2, high blood pressure, vein blood flow, stomach ulcers (h-pylori), heart failure, slow thyroid, macular degeneration, glaucoma and bi-polar. so far am still driving, shopping, cleaning house, etc., etc. AND watching much, much television. boy, has tv changed since we got one at my age 13. an 8" screen, a signal all day and at about 5pm it's HOWDY DOODY TIME. see, life does get better. i am 80 now and still have my problems at times horrible anxieties but somewhat better than years ago. there are times of enjoyment which i appreciate more now than ever. love to all.and be glad you don't have to take the 14 medications i need to.
Thanks @peach414144! That's wonderful you are 80, I'm 64. Some things that really help me is writing, especially poetry. Most of my poems have been written when I'm having down times and it helps me to start feeling better, remembering I have so much to be thankful for. Also, I color. Sometimes in adult coloring books, (they're not what you might think if not familiar with them), other times I draw with the colors or color pencils & draw/color my feelings and label them. I usually take my "homework" to my therapy appointments and share them with my psychologist. She has been extremely helpful in guiding me in ways to deal with my feelings when they come up, that I make my own homework usually.
What kind of animals do you have? I rescued a dog a year ago, but I think she actually rescued me. She is a lot of company and comfort, I don't know what I would do without her now. You take care too and have a good evening!
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2 Reactionshi there, i did much coloring when hiding in the closet, hiding from being beaten. now, i at times still do color in children's coloring books, or sketch and color. for many years i have "saved" older cats and dogs. not many people seem to want them. and especially now, i do not want them to outlive me. at the moment i have an 11 year old chihuwawa, a 13 year old 70 lb. heinz variety and 2 old cats. no more until i go to "rainbow bridge" to pick up my friends on the way to heaven. i say this with a smile. you are right. the animals are here to save us. there are so many ways to keep busy even if it is just to dance to the music when washing the dishes or look out the window to see the flowers, the wind rocking the trees, a bird a butterfly. all the miracles to be appreciated. listen to the radio talk shows. especially at night when you cant sleep. and on and on. if you can still dance, go to a dance even if you go alone. so what. enjoy.. even just take a walk and watch everything. good talking. next time. barbpeach
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Hug
1 ReactionWelcome, @magspierce. I deal with the same mental health issues, though I didn't experience abuse at home. I was bullied some at school, but depression, PTSD, anxiety, and suicidal ideation developed over the course of many years, dealing with very low self worth and other things, coming to a head when I was 55. I've been climbing out of that hole now for 12 years, with the help of some good therapists along the way.
I hope you'll feel comfortable with the conversations here, and will join in as much as you like.
Jim
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2 Reactions@peach414144
I'm not sure I'll make it to 80. But then, none of us are assured of tomorrow. I appreciate your input.
Jim
I too suffer from PTSD and chronic depression. During the '80s and early '90s, I suffered from tremendous pain in my back and down my right leg. I had had two back surgeries when I was 17 and 18; one was for a spinal tumor. After my second surgery, the pain down my leg came back. By that time I had moved to a different town, so I went to see a neurologist. He told me all I had was a cyst on my spine and it shouldn't be causing me any pain. I asked him whether it could be another tumor, and of course, he said no. So I went home and tried to deal with my pain. I saw him several times more over the next seven years, telling him that my pain was getting much worse each time I saw him. I also saw a handful of other doctors trying to find the reason for my pain. They all told me it was all in my head, or I was looking for attention, or I was just looking for pain pills. Finally, after seven years of agonizing pain, and taking 56 Advil a day for the pain, I landed in the emergency room throwing up blood from a bleeding ulcer from all the Advil. The nurse gave me the name of another neurologist to see. So I went to him, and he did an MRI on my spine. What came back really threw me for a loop. I indeed had another spine tumor, this one was the size of three large grapefruits, and when it was finally removed, it weighed 8 pounds. Because the tumor was so large, I had to have one surgery on my back and one surgery from the front, because it had grown through my sacrum and into my pelvis. They had to cut the nerve roots at the spine so that the tumor would not grow back. Because of that, I could no longer walk. My right leg would not work. During that time I was in pain, and the doctors telling me it was all in my head, my family didn't believe that I was really in pain. I spent seven years living in my room never leaving to go anywhere and angry as hell that I had to live that way. It has taken me 26 years to deal with all I went through, but I still can't get past the anger I feel towards all the doctors who wouldn't believe that I was in so much pain. I have had to have seven spine surgeries in all, with my last one being in 2016. I now have to walk with a cane and have so much metal in my spine just to hold it upright. I hurt my back when I was 16 and am now 52 and still dealing with pain and anger. Of course, it's not the same pain I had back then, but I still have to live with pain every day. And now with the crack down on people with chronic pain and getting the medicine we need just to live a normal life because, of course, all of us with chronic pain abuse our pain meds, I might not be able to get the pain medication I need. It is really frustrating. Thank you all for letting me vent. It does help to get this off my chest.
@magspierce, my dogs have been a lifeline to me, as well. We heard about a newborn runt of the litter who was the last pup left because people didn't select him until I showed up the day before he was going to be put down. He died February of '16. He was an accidental Aussie/Border Collie mix, and was loved for 9 years. I trained him to be my service dog, and losing him to a possible stroke was really, really difficult. I planted a garden bed over his grave. I still grieve. A month after Barnabas (which means son of encouragement in the Bible) died, my wife and I stopped by the local humane society shelter and met my new service dog, Sadie. She means a lot to me, even more than our other pet dog, in a different way, and she's always with me. It's amazing how much therapy an animal can provide.
Jim
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1 ReactionI also had abuse when I was a child, have you ever heard of CPTSD (Complex). I don't believe it's recognized but when I read it it was exactly me! It was PTSD but just a little different. It's not a matter of one incident it's a matter of constant abuse over time. There are support groups out there that have helped me understand and help me work my way back and learning to trust , I do not fear every person that comes into my life.
Just thought I would mention it
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2 Reactions@wendallzmom
Welcome, and thank you for the information. Does the "C" stand for childhood? I wasn't abused by anyone as a child, other than some bullying in school, but suffered trauma by employers, and people who slandered me and spread libelous false rumors about me, and exposure to some grizzly things as an EMT. Civilian PTSD. I was never in the military, but sometimes I wish I had.
I'm alarmed by the statistics of childhood trauma and abuse. It's always existed, and maybe we're just becoming more aware of it, but I'm saddened and angry when I read or hear what horrific treatment is heaped on innocent children, and on adults, as well. I'm sorry that you were so damaged as a child. I know that there are things that we can't simply put behind us, but they continue to haunt us long after the abuse stopped. You're wise, as well as fortunate, to have made the progress you have. That's surely a very difficult process that often takes a lifetime to achieve. I've been helped over the past decade by several good therapists, as well as the loving support of my wife, and by the companionship and therapy provided by my service dogs. I hope that you will continue to experience healing.
Jim
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3 Reactions@wendllzmom I too have CPTSD (Complex Post Tramatic Stress Disorder, for those not familiar with it) stemming to my multiple instances of abuse as a child and young adult. Glad you found support groups that have helped you understand and learn to trust again. I too have found a support group & an excellent psychologist that helps me on my road to recovery.
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