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Anyone Else With PTSD?

Mental Health | Last Active: Nov 26, 2023 | Replies (666)

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@painwarrior

I too suffer from PTSD and chronic depression. During the '80s and early '90s, I suffered from tremendous pain in my back and down my right leg. I had had two back surgeries when I was 17 and 18; one was for a spinal tumor. After my second surgery, the pain down my leg came back. By that time I had moved to a different town, so I went to see a neurologist. He told me all I had was a cyst on my spine and it shouldn't be causing me any pain. I asked him whether it could be another tumor, and of course, he said no. So I went home and tried to deal with my pain. I saw him several times more over the next seven years, telling him that my pain was getting much worse each time I saw him. I also saw a handful of other doctors trying to find the reason for my pain. They all told me it was all in my head, or I was looking for attention, or I was just looking for pain pills. Finally, after seven years of agonizing pain, and taking 56 Advil a day for the pain, I landed in the emergency room throwing up blood from a bleeding ulcer from all the Advil. The nurse gave me the name of another neurologist to see. So I went to him, and he did an MRI on my spine. What came back really threw me for a loop. I indeed had another spine tumor, this one was the size of three large grapefruits, and when it was finally removed, it weighed 8 pounds. Because the tumor was so large, I had to have one surgery on my back and one surgery from the front, because it had grown through my sacrum and into my pelvis. They had to cut the nerve roots at the spine so that the tumor would not grow back. Because of that, I could no longer walk. My right leg would not work. During that time I was in pain, and the doctors telling me it was all in my head, my family didn't believe that I was really in pain. I spent seven years living in my room never leaving to go anywhere and angry as hell that I had to live that way. It has taken me 26 years to deal with all I went through, but I still can't get past the anger I feel towards all the doctors who wouldn't believe that I was in so much pain. I have had to have seven spine surgeries in all, with my last one being in 2016. I now have to walk with a cane and have so much metal in my spine just to hold it upright. I hurt my back when I was 16 and am now 52 and still dealing with pain and anger. Of course, it's not the same pain I had back then, but I still have to live with pain every day. And now with the crack down on people with chronic pain and getting the medicine we need just to live a normal life because, of course, all of us with chronic pain abuse our pain meds, I might not be able to get the pain medication I need. It is really frustrating. Thank you all for letting me vent. It does help to get this off my chest.

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Replies to "I too suffer from PTSD and chronic depression. During the '80s and early '90s, I suffered..."

dear painwarrior, i just read your post a moment ago and my mouth is still ajar. i do believe you for i myself and for plenty of other patients. we have had similar experiences (yours is the worst). i have said this before but i must say it again SHAME, SHAME SHAME on that doctor. i hope he has learned a very good lesson for his future patients. i am sure that i am not the only patient who cares for you. so please try to enjoy now. peachbarb@