Mayo Clinic Connect
For anyone living w/ PTSD symptoms vary. I had some terrible experiences w/ therapists and this did nothing but increase my symptoms. I was misdiagnosed and loaded up w/ anti psychotics which were so wrong-One therapist ended up w/ a 99 year suspension on her license and is still harassing and stalking me which is so difficult. I moved once and she found me…I did not file the charges against this therapist.
Living in fear is not the way to live out the rest of my life…I live in fear for my family too. I don’t know where 2 of my adult children live because of this mess w/ someone that was supposed to be helping…I find it hard to trust.
I have grand children too. I live in fear for them. This sicko caused much harm to others as well. One less predator in the mental health system.
Maybe I can get some help from others. I grew up being abused and did not know as I partitioned by brain into other parts and did not need to deal…now I am trying to have some kind of life and fear has driven me back from others.
I can understand that some have been helped by the mental health system…I don’t think there is help there or anywhere.
That was negative and also true.
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@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.
dear blindeyepug, when reading this latest reply of yours, yes. my story is very similar to yours. my family is also mentally and criminally ill. why cannot the existing bodies of law and the courts address these issues? to me it is basically MONEY AND NOT ADDRESSING ANY AND ALL OF THE ISSUES. where and what are the guidelines? there are too many cases to be heard in the courts, not enough (decent) places to house the abused or to incarcerate the guilty. AGAIN, THERE IS VERY INADEQUATE MONIES ALLOCATED TO HELP THE MENTALLY ILL AND THEIR VICTIMS. WHAT IS THE GOVERNMENT DOING ABOUT THIS? this is our beloved country, AMERICA. do we realize how long this has been going on? FOREVER! much of this creates more mentally ill and so it continues on and on forever. it keeps the jails and prisons full and the physically and mentally disabled suffering and in need of help. . it is not the child’s fault to suffer and/or turn into an unacceptable person. SO; HOW CAN WE WORK WITH THE RESPONSIBLE HUMANS IN CHARGE OF THIS? OR, ARE THERE NO RESPONSIBLE AGENCIES SET UP FOR THESE VERY IMPORTANT ISSUES? WHERE IS THE CONSCIENCE OF THOSE IN CHARGE? THIS IS A PLEA FOR HELP.
Liked by GailBL, Volunteer Mentor
Peaches, @magspierce Jim
I understand that. I have had to go no contact with my narcissistic mother and family of flying monkeys that aided in her horrible physical & verbal snd mental abuse.
Walking away from my whole family and getting healthy was the best thing that I ever did. I have found my own family. In my life blood is NOT thicker than water
And the hardest thing after was figuring out how not to run away like a bat out of hell every time I felt uncomfortable. And I felt uncomfortable a lot! When you are a child and the very people that are supposed to give you love and protection are your abusers, trust and self worth are only words to you.
Just know that you can get through it…and little by little you learn how to let people get past that wall of protection that you have built up around you.
There is a website called Out of the Storm, the first time I read the pages, I just couldn’t stop crying with every word I found I wasn’t alone in my pain… and just knowing that made me stronger.
Google complex PTSD quotes and you will see you are not alone! There are number of sites and blogs that can start you in the right direction with advice on things like how to find a therapist who understands the “complex”.
((( hug))) to all of you!
hi, yes i ran, i ran to the courts at that time. so instead of continuing my education i was a slave to the aunt who took me in. clean, babysit, shop, etc. BUT, NOT ALLOWED SCHOOLING. instead, go to work, give all my salary to her and her husband and still continue the household chores. to sleep on the couch with the rodents, yes, the rodents who would jump on my face. and they would tell me i am lying until their dog mitzi ran and caught one. while they were in their beds in their bedrooms. (a mind going to waste). at least they fed me. but we all know that there is much worse that happens to us. and how can one weed out the also mentally ill therapists and be able to see an acceptable one? keep trying if you can afford it. meanwhile we are all still waiting for acceptable health care. ohhhh! there are no ptsd therapy groups in my entire county unless you pay for it. this is done for alcoholics (most in the churches) why can we not please have this for us ptsd people? i have tried. i still appreciate all who are on this site. with care, peachbarb
I too suffer from PTSD and chronic depression. During the ’80s and early ’90s, I suffered from tremendous pain in my back and down my right leg. I had had two back surgeries when I was 17 and 18; one was for a spinal tumor. After my second surgery, the pain down my leg came back. By that time I had moved to a different town, so I went to see a neurologist. He told me all I had was a cyst on my spine and it shouldn’t be causing me any pain. I asked him whether it could be another tumor, and of course, he said no. So I went home and tried to deal with my pain. I saw him several times more over the next seven years, telling him that my pain was getting much worse each time I saw him. I also saw a handful of other doctors trying to find the reason for my pain. They all told me it was all in my head, or I was looking for attention, or I was just looking for pain pills. Finally, after seven years of agonizing pain, and taking 56 Advil a day for the pain, I landed in the emergency room throwing up blood from a bleeding ulcer from all the Advil. The nurse gave me the name of another neurologist to see. So I went to him, and he did an MRI on my spine. What came back really threw me for a loop. I indeed had another spine tumor, this one was the size of three large grapefruits, and when it was finally removed, it weighed 8 pounds. Because the tumor was so large, I had to have one surgery on my back and one surgery from the front, because it had grown through my sacrum and into my pelvis. They had to cut the nerve roots at the spine so that the tumor would not grow back. Because of that, I could no longer walk. My right leg would not work. During that time I was in pain, and the doctors telling me it was all in my head, my family didn’t believe that I was really in pain. I spent seven years living in my room never leaving to go anywhere and angry as hell that I had to live that way. It has taken me 26 years to deal with all I went through, but I still can’t get past the anger I feel towards all the doctors who wouldn’t believe that I was in so much pain. I have had to have seven spine surgeries in all, with my last one being in 2016. I now have to walk with a cane and have so much metal in my spine just to hold it upright. I hurt my back when I was 16 and am now 52 and still dealing with pain and anger. Of course, it’s not the same pain I had back then, but I still have to live with pain every day. And now with the crack down on people with chronic pain and getting the medicine we need just to live a normal life because, of course, all of us with chronic pain abuse our pain meds, I might not be able to get the pain medication I need. It is really frustrating. Thank you all for letting me vent. It does help to get this off my chest.
dear painwarrior, i just read your post a moment ago and my mouth is still ajar. i do believe you for i myself and for plenty of other patients. we have had similar experiences (yours is the worst). i have said this before but i must say it again SHAME, SHAME SHAME on that doctor. i hope he has learned a very good lesson for his future patients. i am sure that i am not the only patient who cares for you. so please try to enjoy now. peachbarb@
I surely am not alone.
dear blindeyepug, please, please, do not judge all bipolar persons as being the same. they are not. just because a bad bipolar person did you terrible harm does not mean that all bipolar people are the same. i do not judge you and do not want to hurt you in any way, but, i am bipolar and i have been terribly hurt from other people myself. with cptsd horrible, horrible family torture mentally as well as physically. there are people who do not just have bipolar but other conditions such as physicotic, killers, etc. (you can see i am a layman and do not have the correct words.) please love yourself as i am trying to do and yes, i am preying for you as i am sure others are. this site is good for all of us. @
Liked by magspierce
@you have very good insight. i am sure there are many of us who agree with you. it can be a hurtful world many times. people understand where you are coming from. keep posting. peachbarb
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Hi everyone , I also suffer from drug resistant depression and come from an abusive background. PTSD is a part of my life as well. In your posts I learned that there are other people who suffer from debilitating fatigue as well. It is nice to know that I am not alone . I am new to this forum and I am grateful to have found you here! Thistime of year is very difficult for my due the Seasonal Affective Disorder. For some reason it starts early for me.
dear jimhd, i also have very, very low iron and anemia for about 14 years now (as long as i have been living here) and the doctors do not know why. i hope i am so wrong but my neighbor has been spraying the insecticide roundup over my fence for 14 years. so now, where to go? check out everything you do and please eat a diet for anemia. and you can do my dishes as well.@@
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor
I am the one starting this thread and if I could I would delete it!! Extremely naive on my part. This is not helpful for me and if it has been harmful to others I am sorry.
dear parus, this thread is very important for many. including myself. perhaps it is because we need to be at a certain point in life for it to be beneficial. when i read this i knew i was not alone, what a good feeling. i was not the only crazy one. i could be accepted. so keep believing in yourself as you have and are helping many others. thank you for helping myself and for the others.
I eat a pretty balanced diet, and now I take an iron pill. The last couple of blood tests have been in the normal range, though I don’t know what tests would show if I weren’t taking them. I just don’t want to add yet another pill to my home pharmacy. I’d also like to know why things were low that never had been in the past.
Hi @jimhd! I’m not saying this is what is happening with you. But for me, I kept being anemic for years without any explanation. I was having trouble with bleeding too. I started going to a different dr and she ran blood tests for Celiac and they came back positive. I had to not eat gluten, wheat, barley, rye, and malt. With Celiac, your body just doesn’t absorb vitamins and nutrients like it should. It damages the vili (?) in your small intestines that are suppose to absorb them. I am doing better with the bleeding since staying away from gluten, but I still have to take the iron from time to time. Hope you find your reason for the low iron.
I was tested for Celiac a few years ago and was negative, thank you, Lord. I’ll be seeing a doctor in a couple of hours, and I think I’ll ask him if the test should be repeated. My wife and I really wouldn’t want to live with that kind of diet.
Liked by Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, magspierce
@jimhd Good luck with your appointment!
I appreciate your sharing that story about celiac and anemia. I would never have considered a connection! I always say that at Mayo Connect we all learn from each other, thanks for a new lesson!
yes jimhd iron is good. i do that,plus monthly iron shots, and whatever the doctors need to do. even to give me in fusions of ferreitin (iron). but the hosing of the popular poison for plants keeps coming over the fence. neighbor will not stop. going on 15 years now.
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