Anyone Else With PTSD?

Posted by Parus @parus, Jul 21, 2017

Curious

@parus @peach414144 @gagelle @desirea

Civilian PTSD is an insidious member of the invisible disease group. I think that it has made it hard for me to deal with other mental illnesses I have. I don’t know enough about it, I guess, to understand what it does to me, or to recognize its presence.

I think that maybe it’s what makes me feel weak and guilty for being depressed for so long. I talk with the therapist about the sources of PTSD, but depression gets talked about but not PTSD. I think I need to do more research on the subject so I can dig beneath the depression layer and begin working on what’s keeping me from moving on.

The world is just beginning to treat battlefield PTSD, and I think that civilian PTSD is still under the radar.

Whenever I bring to mind the things that caused me traumatic stress, that’s when I curl up in the fetal position, figuratively if not literally.

Being out, visiting hospice patients does help, but it’s temporary, at best. I had to retire because I could no longer live under the traumatic stress in my job. I lost at least ten years of my career at that time. I hadn’t planned to retire until I was the age I am now, 67. But the doctor was right. I would have killed myself if I hadn’t retired and walked away from the stress.

I don’t know what the solution is. I know what some of the solutions are, but I’m not sure what it is for me yet.

Maybe others will recommend some resources for civilian PTSD reading.

Jim

Liked by Parus, Lorraine

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dear jimhd: i understand your suffering, tension, sadness and everything else. i have walked the shoes. with bi-polar and ptsd, and everything else all i can say is. TIME can and does help eventually if you live long enough. so fight the battle and say “i’ll show you”. sounds childish but play the game. in the end as you look back on your life you will see the small changes and you will see the good you have done for this world in your lifetime. i am sure you have helped people and animals to endure with love. believe in yourself. with much caring, peach from a great grandma. 80 plus peach barbara.

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@parus

@gagelle I know abuse is what has caused many of my physical issues as well. I will not give details of my abusive childhood as well as spousal abuse. Understand the build ups and put downs. I did not realize how awful it all was until I left. I am sorry for the things that happened to us and I am still working hard to overcome the horror.

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dear parus and everybody else: i am in the same boat as you. bi-polar and ptsd i am sure the rest of us understand and cry with you. you are not alone. what helps me somewhat is trying to help others. i am sure we share some of the same horrors of being hurt mentally and physically over and over again. and yes, this makes us more understanding of life wanting to help ourselves and others. having patience is difficult but slowly we become more understanding of life. WE ARE NOT ALONE. there are people in this world who care and appreciate us. peach barbara.

Liked by Lisa Lucier

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@jimhd

@parus @peach414144 @gagelle @desirea

Civilian PTSD is an insidious member of the invisible disease group. I think that it has made it hard for me to deal with other mental illnesses I have. I don’t know enough about it, I guess, to understand what it does to me, or to recognize its presence.

I think that maybe it’s what makes me feel weak and guilty for being depressed for so long. I talk with the therapist about the sources of PTSD, but depression gets talked about but not PTSD. I think I need to do more research on the subject so I can dig beneath the depression layer and begin working on what’s keeping me from moving on.

The world is just beginning to treat battlefield PTSD, and I think that civilian PTSD is still under the radar.

Whenever I bring to mind the things that caused me traumatic stress, that’s when I curl up in the fetal position, figuratively if not literally.

Being out, visiting hospice patients does help, but it’s temporary, at best. I had to retire because I could no longer live under the traumatic stress in my job. I lost at least ten years of my career at that time. I hadn’t planned to retire until I was the age I am now, 67. But the doctor was right. I would have killed myself if I hadn’t retired and walked away from the stress.

I don’t know what the solution is. I know what some of the solutions are, but I’m not sure what it is for me yet.

Maybe others will recommend some resources for civilian PTSD reading.

Jim

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One thing I learned in therapy is to avoid feeling guilty because it takes the focus off the perpetrators of the abuse and puts it on ourselves. It is a form of self-hatred. This is exactly what the abuser wants. It’s alright to feel regret for poor decisions (which we all make.) but feeling guilty provides a false sense of control. In other words, if it’s my fault, then I can control things. it’s difficult to deeply understand how little we really can control in life. But to be able to live with that understanding is incredibly liberating. Each day becomes a blessing when we understand how tenuous life really is. Sometimes I find myself in awe at the beauty of a sunrise or at the charming sight of children playing. I never fully appreciated those things until I let go of the guilt. My therapist keeps telling me that I have to learn to love myself. I’m not completely there yet but working on it. I hope this helps.

Liked by Parus

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When my grand daughter was 11(now 17) we were in a car accident. We were hit head on by a drunk driver,she saw that driver ejected from his van and hit out car and bounce off and die. Then 5 months later she witnessed her 16 year old brother drown in the river during a family outing. Her PSTD is huge. Baby steps for her to attempt to live her life, she sees them each and every day. In the auto accident it was her and i in my car,every day I wish that I would have been the one to see what she did and for her to not have seen it. I didn’t see because of the air bags and passing out.I as an adult and a nurse could deal with it better than an 11 year old. thank you for your time

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@eahill

When my grand daughter was 11(now 17) we were in a car accident. We were hit head on by a drunk driver,she saw that driver ejected from his van and hit out car and bounce off and die. Then 5 months later she witnessed her 16 year old brother drown in the river during a family outing. Her PSTD is huge. Baby steps for her to attempt to live her life, she sees them each and every day. In the auto accident it was her and i in my car,every day I wish that I would have been the one to see what she did and for her to not have seen it. I didn’t see because of the air bags and passing out.I as an adult and a nurse could deal with it better than an 11 year old. thank you for your time

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@eahill

I’m surely sorry that your granddaughter is living with those horrible memories. She’s fortunate to have a loving and supportive family. I know that time is said to be a good healer, but it’s the”meantime” that presents great challenges. We need whatever help is available. Friends, groups like this one, therapists, church, family – help can show up in many ways, sometimes unexpected ways. I value deeply the support I’ve found here.

Jim

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Trauma can also result from events and circumstances that one person may not feel is traumatic, but another experienced it as such. And all persons who experience a traumatic event may not develop PTS/PTSD. I believe the most important thing is to be supportive, not judgmental, when PTSD is reported or suspected. I have seen or experienced it as the result of rape/sexual assault, being in a war zone, moving multiple times, causing or being in a car accident, being adopted/fostered, physical or emotional abuse, being hazed/bullied, losing a significant other (especially if in an abrupt manner, or after long period of intense caregiving), divorce, major injury, illness or new permanent disability, and many other causes. It seems that sometimes the term PTSD itself creates fear and uncertainty, but I return to my initial thought, be compassionate and supportive, and seek/aid in finding help. Be safe!

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Yes I was diagnosed with PTSD Aniexty and Depression with Psychosis ( I hear voices and see things) in 2014. It’s been a long battle and many medications. Does anyone experience voices and see things. My was caused by a crime and then all my childhood memories of being sexually abused by my father rose up again along with being physically and emotionally abused most of my life. After I was diagnosed my life changed. I lost all my so called friends and my own family didn’t understand me. I lost my career as a social worker of 26 years I retired out on a service connected disability I won my workers compensation case and sued my job for harassment I won that case too but I lost my life I dropped out of college and stay isolated and alone

Liked by Parus

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@lafaye

Yes I was diagnosed with PTSD Aniexty and Depression with Psychosis ( I hear voices and see things) in 2014. It’s been a long battle and many medications. Does anyone experience voices and see things. My was caused by a crime and then all my childhood memories of being sexually abused by my father rose up again along with being physically and emotionally abused most of my life. After I was diagnosed my life changed. I lost all my so called friends and my own family didn’t understand me. I lost my career as a social worker of 26 years I retired out on a service connected disability I won my workers compensation case and sued my job for harassment I won that case too but I lost my life I dropped out of college and stay isolated and alone

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@lafaye

Can you tell us what treatments have helped you? I haven’t ever heard voices except for the ones everyone else can hear. Some of them I hope never to hear again. I live with the memory of voices that attacked, slandered me and told me I was no good.

I was fortunate to be approved for disability the first time I applied, so I could retire. As everyone knows, we aren’t getting rich on Social Security, but we lived very frugally all our lives, so it didn’t mean a big lifestyle change when I retired. We get by with help from energy assistance, EBT, and whatever senior discounts we find. I’m really fortunate to have access to mental health care that takes Medicare.

Isolation is, of course, a natural response to depression. I think we all experience that. My wife and I live in the country on ten acres, which isolates us most of the time. We both have always liked solitude, so it’s a good fit for us. I would probably stay home all the time. My wife nudges me out the door to go to church when I’d rather stay home some Sundays.

Knowing that we do better when we get out and be connected with other people doesn’t always motivate us to do it. Depression and other issues can paralyze us, for sure, and lots of people don’t understand. Thankfully there are people like those in the group to connect with.

Jim

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Hi the treatment I have had regarding PTSD were few I went to one class on the subject the rest were focused on depression and aniexty they didn’t have any classes that I know of particularly for PTSD through my hospital. I joined a PTSD group on Facebook but I had a bad experience were someone broke my confidentiality and posted a story I shared within the group on my wall without my permission. I haven’t been in a group since fearing it may happen again until now. Right now I am on a series of medications I take classes like an arts and crafts class and a writing class I have been on medication for four years. I’m still depressed. Hear voices and see things. There is no specific medication for PTSD. I STAY STRESSED. I am a believer so my bible is my hope I constantly stay in the word and pray that’s the only reason why I am alive today Christ in my life. I’m still looking for answers about PTSD and the effects it has on people.

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I have someth8ing similar to PTSD IK have Disassociated Identity Disorder (D.I.D). I was diagnoses in 2011. I wen t to about eight different therapist who only wanted to give me medicine and send me home. My partner decided to take me to a Psychiatrist and that’s when I was diagnosed. I lose a lot of time, see things and hallucinate a lot. I have 8 personality. I take medication for depression, nightmares and insomnia

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@eahill, @elizabethzimmermann, @lafaye, @eight– Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. The lovely thing about connect is that others reading your posts are learning and benefiting from you sharing your words. The support between all of the members in this group is heartwarming to me. I hope you all take advantage of having other people in this group to connect with and know that you are not alone in your PTSD battle. I would describe you all as warriors. Keep fighting and keep sharing.

Would all of you consider sharing one thing you do that helps you feel better during the day.

Also, has anyone had successful therapy or treatment that another member may find useful?

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@eight

I have someth8ing similar to PTSD IK have Disassociated Identity Disorder (D.I.D). I was diagnoses in 2011. I wen t to about eight different therapist who only wanted to give me medicine and send me home. My partner decided to take me to a Psychiatrist and that’s when I was diagnosed. I lose a lot of time, see things and hallucinate a lot. I have 8 personality. I take medication for depression, nightmares and insomnia

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I don’t think one can have DID without having PTSD (more correctly called childhood developmental trauma). my mother had DID and never knew it. I didn’t know until several years before her death. it ruined her life but also likely saved it when she was a child…,I understand quite a bit about it and have a dissociative disorder myself. but have co awareness. dissociation is a life saving defense when stricken with terror or horror….so sorry you experienced whatever caused it……

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@lafaye

Hi the treatment I have had regarding PTSD were few I went to one class on the subject the rest were focused on depression and aniexty they didn’t have any classes that I know of particularly for PTSD through my hospital. I joined a PTSD group on Facebook but I had a bad experience were someone broke my confidentiality and posted a story I shared within the group on my wall without my permission. I haven’t been in a group since fearing it may happen again until now. Right now I am on a series of medications I take classes like an arts and crafts class and a writing class I have been on medication for four years. I’m still depressed. Hear voices and see things. There is no specific medication for PTSD. I STAY STRESSED. I am a believer so my bible is my hope I constantly stay in the word and pray that’s the only reason why I am alive today Christ in my life. I’m still looking for answers about PTSD and the effects it has on people.

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if you want to learn more about it, look up Bessel van der kaulk and D.E.S.N.O.S also steven Levine, unsure of first name spelling…his book waking the tiger is excellent.

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@eahill, @elizabethzimmermann, @lafaye, @eight I too would like to welcome you to Mayo Connect. This is a safe place in which to share your experiences and receive feedback and questions. I just want to remind you that we are not medical professionals, so we are reading and sharing with each other things that have helped or not helped our situations.

I was first diagnosed with PTSD when I was in therapy trying to get rid of my fear of heights and flying at the age of 45. My fears were getting in the way of my career and personal life. As I worked my way through my childhood traumas, and there were many, I was crying and so depressed that I finally asked my therapist if I was bi-polar, which was a fear of mine since my mom had it, and my sister has borderline personality disorder. The psychologist’s answer surprised me because she said, No, you have PTSD from your childhood. That had never occurred to me. I have spent many years in counseling and in various groups trying to get to the bottom of my issues. Talking about things helped, but I still had to take Lorazepam when I had to fly anywhere. I was dead set against using medication to deal with my depression, believing that talk therapy was all I needed. Finally, about 10 years ago I was still depressed so I asked my PCP about taking an antidepressant. I had been reading about chemical imbalances in the brain maybe causing some problems, so I was open to try it. He prescribed Citalopram. I have been taking it since then, and my life has changed! I have let go of my fears at last. I can fly without medication, and I even zip lined down 7 lines when we visited Costa Rica a year ago. My outlook on life is much brighter, and I see beauty everywhere. I think the combination of talk therapy, which helped me learn about the mechanisms I had developed to cope with trauma to protect myself, with the antidepressants were the answers to my search for a more “normal” life. I’m now, at age 69, free to be me without fear.

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