Survivors of toxic relationship with a Narcissist: Let's Connect

@sheila1960 I will be 61 next month. left six months ago with my car, clothes, and my mom's ashes. I lost everything else because of him. Luckily I am able to stay with a daughter and her family. I had to move several states over, and starting over in an unfamiliar state and city. It was scary at first but after being here for six months, my mind is finally starting to clear and I'm starting to accept my surroundings. I hope that you are able to find the support and help as you get back on your feet. I'm here for support if you need someone to talk to!

@hopeful33250 yes absolutely.. I had to leave with nothing. It was my only way out and he has locked me out of all of our bank accounts. He moved all our money. He had been doing it for months. I’m 66 years old and I’m on Social Security. I am having to start my life over at 66 years old. I just can’t afford it at this time.. I’ve been searching for support groups and I’ve been involved there. But I think I need more. I’m still in disbelief that I allowed it to happen. I’m in disbelief that he wasn’t the man that I thought he was. There’s just so many things that my mind just keeps playing over and over and over and my health is declining. I have been to my doctors. They are all aware of it. I know I can get through it. I just have to find a way.

@diverdown1 Dr. Ramani is the best! Like you, I got help from Dr. Ramani on You Tube, that has helped me to cope, immensely! Both of my parents were narcissistic! One, though, in particular, was a Malignant Narcissist, where they had to have complete control, over everyone in the household, and then some! I was severely abused, both physically and mentally, by both of my parents, as a child, and grew up, in extreme fear and anxiety, as an everyday occurrence! The parent who was the Malignant Narcissist, targeted me to be the outcast of the family. I have 4 siblings, and i was the second oldest! My other siblings were mentally abused by my parents, but not physically beaten, by both parents, like I was! It was a horrible childhood for me, where I had to stay in a corner, in the basement, much of the time, when my parents weren’t making me to housework, or yardwork! My siblings all had bedrooms, that they shared, but not me! If I tried to speak up, while eating, at the table, as a child, I was verbally reprimanded, and sent to the basement, with no more food, and the basement door locked! So, I left home, and stayed with school buddies, my last year of high school! I couldn’t take it any more! One of my parents had thrown me down the basement stairs, in a fit of anger, at the time, where I sustained a serious leg injury, in a lot of pain, and huge swelling, where I couldn’t get
up! My parents were screaming at each other, and would not help me, and would not call 9-1-1! So, after about an hour or so, of my lying on the cement floor, in pain, my younger sister called my older sister ( who had left home, and gotten married ), who came over right away, helped me to get up the steps and into her car, and she drove me to the hospital ER! I couldn’t tell the Dr.’s what happened, and I never complained to anybody about my abusive parents, my entire childhood and high school years, except my sisters, because, many times, over and over, my patents told me, they would kill me, if I complained to anybody, in the family, or Doctor’s, or anybody else, and it got back to them! I was absolutely petrified/ scared that they would kill me, if I said a word to anyone about how they abused me! I left home, after the basement injury. So, it was like a breath of fresh air, when I left home, in my senior year of high school ( homeless ), and I never came back to live in that home, again! Anyway, I made a good life for myself, with no supportive parents, or family, except my older sister, in my younger years! Somehow, I managed to put myself through college, and ended up, working for a big, international company, in a management position, making a six figure income, and raised a family of my own, successfully! So, Dr. Ramani helped me get through the mental after affects, of what I had gone through, as a child, with her You Tube programs. Two of my siblings are narcissistic, and I have had some problems dealing with their self-centered attitudes! Both of my parents passed away, a number of years ago, and, as I am approaching 80 years old, dealing with multiple medical problems, looking back on my life, I don’t know how I managed to climb out of my abused childhood, and be able to be successful at overcoming such adversity! Maybe it helped a bit, when I majored in Psychology, during my college years!

@dmbwa99362 yes I do need some to talk to you. I need someone that’s understands. Thank you

@sheila1960 unless someone have gone through this type of abuse, they don't get it. It's definitely a different type of emotional abuse and the healing is different as well. I can definitely chat with you! Where are you located? I am living in Iowa.
Shoot me a message when you get a chance.

@foundryrat743 Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry that your life was like that as a child. No child should ever have to go through any type of abuse. Your story was very inspirational. It gave me hope.Thank you

@sheila1960

It really is important for you to get some quality counseling. You need to find some access to counseling services. Check with your local Easter Seals to see if they offer counseling services. Often, the fee is much lower. Also, you might consider connecting with a church to see what counseling they can provide.

You will need support in order to turn off: "so many things that my mind that keep playing over and over again."

Will you seek professional help?

@hopeful33250 yes absolutely.. I had to leave with nothing. It was my only way out and he has locked me out of all of our bank accounts. He moved all our money. He had been doing it for months. I’m 66 years old and I’m on Social Security. I am having to start my life over at 66 years old. I just can’t afford it at this time.. I’ve been searching for support groups and I’ve been involved there. But I think I need more. I’m still in disbelief that I allowed it to happen. I’m in disbelief that he wasn’t the man that I thought he was. There’s just so many things that my mind just keeps playing over and over and over and my health is declining. I have been to my doctors. They are all aware of it. I know I can get through it. I just have to find a way.

@sheila1960 Do you have access to YouTube? If so, please look up Dr. Ramani. I understand not having money and I applaud you for your strength and resilience in dealing with the abuse of a narcissist. I found Dr. Ramani several years ago. My father was diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder and after I got sober 8 years ago, I found myself in a relationship (not sexual) with a person who turned out to be narcissistic. This person blew my world apart as they were also in recovery and I was desperate to remain sober. Dr. Ramani's videos helped me understand not only narcissism but also how to deal with what remained of me. I hope this helps. Hang in there. You have taken a huge step and I applaud your strength.