@sheila1960 Do you have access to YouTube? If so, please look up Dr. Ramani. I understand not having money and I applaud you for your strength and resilience in dealing with the abuse of a narcissist. I found Dr. Ramani several years ago. My father was diagnosed with narcissitic personality disorder and after I got sober 8 years ago, I found myself in a relationship (not sexual) with a person who turned out to be narcissistic. This person blew my world apart as they were also in recovery and I was desperate to remain sober. Dr. Ramani's videos helped me understand not only narcissism but also how to deal with what remained of me. I hope this helps. Hang in there. You have taken a huge step and I applaud your strength.