Should I spend an afternoon in my apartment with 3 nvaccinated people?

Posted by rits @rits, May 30 6:01am

I have a dilemma and would appreciate any comments. My best friend (who is also the sister and the daughter that I never had) is having a birthday on Friday. Her sister in law and her niece would like to bring a birthday cake here which the 4 of us would enjoy together.

I was vaccinated for covid in February but none of them is vaccinated. I have spent a lot of time since February with my friend who does many things for me including taking me to medical appointments. My breathing has been very bad and I have needed a lot of help.

I have mixed feelings. They are all healthy and active. Her niece will be returning from Europe Wednesday and will be tested at the airport. But the celebration will be indoors and I am the only one who is vaccinated. I'm not worried about them because they are together all the time. I'm worried about me. What would you do?

Dear @rits, You have a real dilemma because you do not want to offend your visitors, or appear overly paranoid! Here is a dilemma for everyone reading this: My last appointment with my PCP was one week ago. The nurse had a mask on and I commented to her about how she must be tired of wearing one. She answered that she will continue to wear one because she refuses to get vaccinated!!! I feel angry that this nurse is compromising my life because of her decision. On the same token, these guests have their beliefs, and you have a right to yours. You state that your friend takes you to all your appointments, so you are already exposed all the time. The friend's niece will be tested at the airport. You are very close to your friend, and she sounds like a very wonderful person. You have already exposed and are exposing yourself every-time she drives you to an appointment. Either stop accepting the friend's help, or go along with the visit! Do you have an opinion about the non-vaccinated nurse at my PCP's office? I hope your visit is a fun time!

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Wow, this is a tough question – it's a little different than getting a ride, because food and drink will be involved, so masks will be off. On the other hand, you really are all members of the same "bubble" since your friend is regularly with her sister and with you. I am guessing they do not mask when they are together either?

The wild card is the niece returning from Europe, which means she is spending many hours, unvaccinated, on a crowded plane and going through airports. The testing upon return will only mean she does not have active Covid on Wednesday, not that she hasn't been exposed on the trip or on the plane, in which case she could be infectious by Friday. That was why earlier in the pandemic, travelers were advised to quarantine for 7-14 days on return home.

We have visited here on Connect for a long time, so I know you have been struggling with bronch and MAC for years. This seems like a very risky activity for you. Actually, any contact with your friend for the next few weeks could be pretty risky unless you are both well-masked.

Can you calmly discuss this with your friend and explain your concerns, so she can understand why you are worried? Would she be very upset if you declined after that, maybe offering to visit outdoors in a park instead?
Sue

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@thomason

Dear @rits, You have a real dilemma because you do not want to offend your visitors, or appear overly paranoid! Here is a dilemma for everyone reading this: My last appointment with my PCP was one week ago. The nurse had a mask on and I commented to her about how she must be tired of wearing one. She answered that she will continue to wear one because she refuses to get vaccinated!!! I feel angry that this nurse is compromising my life because of her decision. On the same token, these guests have their beliefs, and you have a right to yours. You state that your friend takes you to all your appointments, so you are already exposed all the time. The friend's niece will be tested at the airport. You are very close to your friend, and she sounds like a very wonderful person. You have already exposed and are exposing yourself every-time she drives you to an appointment. Either stop accepting the friend's help, or go along with the visit! Do you have an opinion about the non-vaccinated nurse at my PCP's office? I hope your visit is a fun time!

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"Do you have an opinion about the non-vaccinated nurse at my PCP's office?" That is a very big question these days!

In our chiropractor's office, we have a few vaccine-resistors, fortunately not our doc, massage therapist of acupuncturist. But as a result the decision has been made that everyone will continue to mask for the foreseeable future.

I'm going to be talking to my sister today (an occupational health nurse) and will ask what guidance they are being given about handling vaccination status within their staff.

Sue

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@sueinmn

"Do you have an opinion about the non-vaccinated nurse at my PCP's office?" That is a very big question these days!

In our chiropractor's office, we have a few vaccine-resistors, fortunately not our doc, massage therapist of acupuncturist. But as a result the decision has been made that everyone will continue to mask for the foreseeable future.

I'm going to be talking to my sister today (an occupational health nurse) and will ask what guidance they are being given about handling vaccination status within their staff.

Sue

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Thanks.

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@thomason

Dear @rits, You have a real dilemma because you do not want to offend your visitors, or appear overly paranoid! Here is a dilemma for everyone reading this: My last appointment with my PCP was one week ago. The nurse had a mask on and I commented to her about how she must be tired of wearing one. She answered that she will continue to wear one because she refuses to get vaccinated!!! I feel angry that this nurse is compromising my life because of her decision. On the same token, these guests have their beliefs, and you have a right to yours. You state that your friend takes you to all your appointments, so you are already exposed all the time. The friend's niece will be tested at the airport. You are very close to your friend, and she sounds like a very wonderful person. You have already exposed and are exposing yourself every-time she drives you to an appointment. Either stop accepting the friend's help, or go along with the visit! Do you have an opinion about the non-vaccinated nurse at my PCP's office? I hope your visit is a fun time!

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Thsn6k you for responding and setting out my dilemma so well. As for exposure from my friend, I isolated until January and we didn't see each other. In January, I had a medical crisis and needed her. After I was fully vaccinated, we began seeing each other again. I've known for a long time that she is an anti vaccer and we had many discussions re flu shots. What I didn't know until recently is that no one in her family, extended family or close friends is vaccinated! (And no one has had the virus. )

She is very protective of me and SHE has not decided yet whether this little party is a good idea.

According to the CDC recent guidelines for fully vaccinated, I can "attend a small indoor gathering of fully vaccinated and unvaccinated people from multiple households."

Hmm. A dilemma !

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In reply to @thomason "Thanks." + (show)
@thomason

I wanted to comment separately re the unvaccinated nurse who, for some reason, shared that info with you. She could have said that she is used to the mask and it doesn't bother her but instead shared her unvaccinated status. Here, masks are required in all medical establishments so all the nurses, techs, doctors and patients are masked. That"s one reason why I need a wheelchair for appointments. I have trouble breathing and the mask makes it impossible.

Some pundits have said that the reason that some people refuse to be vaccinated is lack of education. A nurse has plenty of education . It surprises me when someone with medical training is afraid of a vaccine. I can't understand it.

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@rits

I wanted to comment separately re the unvaccinated nurse who, for some reason, shared that info with you. She could have said that she is used to the mask and it doesn't bother her but instead shared her unvaccinated status. Here, masks are required in all medical establishments so all the nurses, techs, doctors and patients are masked. That"s one reason why I need a wheelchair for appointments. I have trouble breathing and the mask makes it impossible.

Some pundits have said that the reason that some people refuse to be vaccinated is lack of education. A nurse has plenty of education . It surprises me when someone with medical training is afraid of a vaccine. I can't understand it.

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Dear @rits, You are correct that she was honest with me in sharing the fact she did not choose to vaccinate! Although I did receive both vaccinations in March 2021, I still came down with Covid in April 2021! Before that, the test for long-term antibodies came back positive, which made sense as sick as my husband and I were back in March 2020. This means I have had Covid twice, so you can see why I am leery. Having had radiation for cancer one year ago may have lowered my immune system. Thank-you for your great observation.

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@sueinmn

Wow, this is a tough question – it's a little different than getting a ride, because food and drink will be involved, so masks will be off. On the other hand, you really are all members of the same "bubble" since your friend is regularly with her sister and with you. I am guessing they do not mask when they are together either?

The wild card is the niece returning from Europe, which means she is spending many hours, unvaccinated, on a crowded plane and going through airports. The testing upon return will only mean she does not have active Covid on Wednesday, not that she hasn't been exposed on the trip or on the plane, in which case she could be infectious by Friday. That was why earlier in the pandemic, travelers were advised to quarantine for 7-14 days on return home.

We have visited here on Connect for a long time, so I know you have been struggling with bronch and MAC for years. This seems like a very risky activity for you. Actually, any contact with your friend for the next few weeks could be pretty risky unless you are both well-masked.

Can you calmly discuss this with your friend and explain your concerns, so she can understand why you are worried? Would she be very upset if you declined after that, maybe offering to visit outdoors in a park instead?
Sue

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Thanks Sue. Actually, although I was diagnosed with bronchiectasis in 2011, my problem has always been copd. In 2017-18, my frequent ct scans showed what could have been MAC but also could have been aspiration. I have a dilated esophagus and am prone to aspiration. Although my sputum had not been tested since 2012, my former pulmonologist refused to test my sputum for mycobacteria. I switched to my current pulmonologist and MAC showed up in November 2018. I had no symptoms other than my usual copd problems. I began treatment in March 2019 and had my first negative in 2 months, in June. I remained on antibiotics for a full year after that negative and currently am celebrating my one year anniversary without drugs. I am waiting the results of my latest sample which so far is negative for acid fast bacteria but shows pseudomonas and klibsiella.

My friend is thinking about the little bd party as am I. It was not her idea and she calls it "their plan". I reviewed the CDC guidelines for fully vaccinated people (,me) and it seems it would be ok.. The advantage of vaccination for me is that I can be with my friend in my home without masks. It is her sister in law and niece who worry me.

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@rits

Thanks Sue. Actually, although I was diagnosed with bronchiectasis in 2011, my problem has always been copd. In 2017-18, my frequent ct scans showed what could have been MAC but also could have been aspiration. I have a dilated esophagus and am prone to aspiration. Although my sputum had not been tested since 2012, my former pulmonologist refused to test my sputum for mycobacteria. I switched to my current pulmonologist and MAC showed up in November 2018. I had no symptoms other than my usual copd problems. I began treatment in March 2019 and had my first negative in 2 months, in June. I remained on antibiotics for a full year after that negative and currently am celebrating my one year anniversary without drugs. I am waiting the results of my latest sample which so far is negative for acid fast bacteria but shows pseudomonas and klibsiella.

My friend is thinking about the little bd party as am I. It was not her idea and she calls it "their plan". I reviewed the CDC guidelines for fully vaccinated people (,me) and it seems it would be ok.. The advantage of vaccination for me is that I can be with my friend in my home without masks. It is her sister in law and niece who worry me.

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What did you decide about the party? I would probably only agree to outdoors….
We are still more cautious than that – and have "doubled down" now that my daughter who lives with us had to have ortho surgery last week. With 3 sets of very bad lungs here, and infection risk for her arm, we are being ultra cautious
Sue

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@sueinmn

What did you decide about the party? I would probably only agree to outdoors….
We are still more cautious than that – and have "doubled down" now that my daughter who lives with us had to have ortho surgery last week. With 3 sets of very bad lungs here, and infection risk for her arm, we are being ultra cautious
Sue

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Thanks for your interest Sue.

Weighing risk v benefit, I opted out of the small bd party with fully vaccinated me and 3 unvaccinated ladies. The risks, first off, concern my apprehension that I am not immune to covid despite the 2 doses of Pfeifer I had in February. It took 3 pneumonia 23 vaccinations (the original one) for my body to create the minimum of 9 antibodies required. I was told that if I still didn't have the minimum after the 3d shot I would need to have infusions. Apparently my body is not good at creating antibodies.

Then, there's the fact that the vaccine is "only" 90% effective. I realize that's a lot for a vaccine but without an antibody test how do I know that I'm not in the 10% breakthrough crowd?

Also, my resistance to infection is lacking. I had my first in person doctor's appointment in 15 months recently and came down with an ear infection. Everyone was masked and the spirometry test was given in a separate room by a tech in full ppp gear with 30 minutes between patients for disinfecting. Yet I caught an infection which fortunately did not go to my lungs but stayed in my ear and throat.

We think I got it either from the wheelchair or the valet
parker because we didn't purell.

The benefit if the celebration was us 3 having cake in honor of my bf on her bd. She said she didn't care but I think she did. This bd is bothering her and she keeps saying that she is OLD and I wish I felt better about having her sil and niece here. Lovely people but unvaccinated.

Other events are planned for her birthday. I hope to be able to do something special for her this summer.

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