Resisting hired caregiver in the home

Posted by Gratia @gratia, 1 day ago

I need help with a few hours (2-4) of coverage weekly, and my mother is very resistant and stubborn. I absolutely need a weekly break. My sister is dealing with her own family crisis, so I’m solo for the time being.

I’m beyond exhausted and Mother is just not able to comprehend any of this.

Of course thinks She’s fine, even though she needs help with all ADLs! I start to deeply resent her and I know it’s the dementia, but it just feels like she’s a “selfish self centered entitled jerk.”
(That’s putting my thoughts in G-rated words. )
If anyone has figured out a way to bring in a caregiver to the home with the least amount of drama…please do share.
Thanks!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Scott, Volunteer Mentor | @IndianaScott | 1 day ago

Good morning, @gratia I ran into the same issue with my wife. I know everyone’s journey and patient are different, but the following worked for me.

I found someone who agreed they’d play along. I told my wife the household chores were more than I could get done so i needed someone to come in to help me with the house 2 hours a week. My wife agreed since it was the house and not her needing care. Within just a couple visits my help was sitting with my wife, asking what she needed, chatting, etc.

They morphed into a caregiver without my wife realizing it and she didn’t get upset about it.

Just an idea that worked for us.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

labrown | @labrown | 1 day ago

In reply to @IndianaScott "Good morning, @gratia I ran into the same issue with my wife. I know everyone’s journey..." + (show)

@IndianaScott Great way to handle the situation Scott. Thank you for sharing! I get so many good and helpful suggestions at Connect!

Gratia | @gratia | 23 hours ago

In reply to @IndianaScott "Good morning, @gratia I ran into the same issue with my wife. I know everyone’s journey..." + (show)

@IndianaScott Thank you Scott, I’m really stressed over another family crisis and I absolutely need a break to clear my head. I will try your suggestion- I’m having a person come today just for an hour - “a friend of mine” for a visit. Cross fingers.
Thank you so much🤗

ljchr | @ljchr | 38 minutes ago

I soon will bring in a caregiver for a few hours a week for respite. I am going to tell him it's for physical therapy. I have arranged with the service for the caregiver to give him some exercises and even take him to the workout room in our apartments. Our PCP went along with suggesting he needs physical therapy. I'm hoping he adjusts quickly, time will tell.