OCD and Major Depression

Posted by mariajean03 @mariajean03, Oct 26, 2020

I'm overly medicated but am afraid to cut back. When I do I spend all nite worrying I won't sleep! All I do is lay there doing tormenting compulsions. Wake up very dizzy every morning,. It goes away in 2 hours. I need to taper off 325mg. Seraquel but too scared. I have been able to stay out of the hospital for a year though. So confused. Any suggestions? Maria.

@mariajean03

He's 83 and not sick. I'm 61 and we have nothing in common but our Catholic faith. We have never laughed together. I'm craving physical affection and we've both seen many therapists. Just when I try to look @ the positives we fight again. Thanks for caring Frank. No change is in sight because he gets angry when I mention his prior porn addiction. We are alone for the Holidays which makes matters worse. I try to reach out to siblings but they say be happy you have a friend. Maria.

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@mariajean03 It's hard when you open up to your siblings and they tell you to be happy with what you have. That is incredibly invalidating and I'm sure that you feel even more alone in those moments.

You are in a tough spot. It doesn't sound like you have anyone that is a consistent emotional support. I don't fully know your situation but your participating in Mayo Clinic Connect is likely incredibly beneficial to your well-being. I encourage you to keep reading, posting, and responding. I also encourage you to find creatively ways to attempt to have your needs met with the resources that you have, which I know are extremely limited.

The holidays can be hard, especially with COVID-19. I personally love to watch old Christmas movies like, "It's a Wonderful Life" and read, "A Christmas Carol." Do you have any happy holiday traditions you can do alone? Can you bake cookies and send to loved ones?

You mentioned that you would be alone for the holidays, I'm wondering if you will be able to video chat with friends/family?

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@mariajean03

He's 83 and not sick. I'm 61 and we have nothing in common but our Catholic faith. We have never laughed together. I'm craving physical affection and we've both seen many therapists. Just when I try to look @ the positives we fight again. Thanks for caring Frank. No change is in sight because he gets angry when I mention his prior porn addiction. We are alone for the Holidays which makes matters worse. I try to reach out to siblings but they say be happy you have a friend. Maria.

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Hi, Here in Indiana we have case workers and a mental health Philicity called Lifespring.Thats where I was going until this pandemic hit and now I talk to my people over the phone. If you need section 8 housing to be able to afford your own place to live. Reach out and get the number for a program like it in your community. Get a legal aid lawyer and get a divorce. Best thing I ever did.Of course i have a"Residual disability because of all the abuse I had to tolerate and endure. Its been 23 years since the big D took place and Im like a new person. I have to take medication to keep me stable and as normal as what normal is these days.They dont interfear with my freedom i jus have to rest alot and move slower then I use to bc of dizziesness when I stand up or lay down.ok I hope it helps/ take care. marcie

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@mariajean03

He's 83 and not sick. I'm 61 and we have nothing in common but our Catholic faith. We have never laughed together. I'm craving physical affection and we've both seen many therapists. Just when I try to look @ the positives we fight again. Thanks for caring Frank. No change is in sight because he gets angry when I mention his prior porn addiction. We are alone for the Holidays which makes matters worse. I try to reach out to siblings but they say be happy you have a friend. Maria.

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@mariajean03
Maria, the holidays can be especially difficult for many of us. It's certainly hardest for a person who is alone. Even though you and Jim share the same household your relationship is such that you feel effectively alone. I'm not sure if it would help you at all but I just want you to know that if you would like to reach out to someone in a less public way, you can always feel free to send me a private message. I can at least offer you my ears to listen. Please feel free to write to me whenever you feel the need and I guarantee I will listen and respond. Everyone should have someone they can talk to. Best to you, Hank

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@erikas

@mariajean03 It's hard when you open up to your siblings and they tell you to be happy with what you have. That is incredibly invalidating and I'm sure that you feel even more alone in those moments.

You are in a tough spot. It doesn't sound like you have anyone that is a consistent emotional support. I don't fully know your situation but your participating in Mayo Clinic Connect is likely incredibly beneficial to your well-being. I encourage you to keep reading, posting, and responding. I also encourage you to find creatively ways to attempt to have your needs met with the resources that you have, which I know are extremely limited.

The holidays can be hard, especially with COVID-19. I personally love to watch old Christmas movies like, "It's a Wonderful Life" and read, "A Christmas Carol." Do you have any happy holiday traditions you can do alone? Can you bake cookies and send to loved ones?

You mentioned that you would be alone for the holidays, I'm wondering if you will be able to video chat with friends/family?

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I am a good baker but have no desire to make cookies this year. Maybe pies or something. My siblings may get together on December 19TH. depending on Covid. I get invited once a year. It's so fakey! I have found a lady thru a Church who will meet with me once per week. It's called Stephen ministry for people who are suffering. One hour is better than nothing. Thanks.

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@mjpg2013

Hi, Here in Indiana we have case workers and a mental health Philicity called Lifespring.Thats where I was going until this pandemic hit and now I talk to my people over the phone. If you need section 8 housing to be able to afford your own place to live. Reach out and get the number for a program like it in your community. Get a legal aid lawyer and get a divorce. Best thing I ever did.Of course i have a"Residual disability because of all the abuse I had to tolerate and endure. Its been 23 years since the big D took place and Im like a new person. I have to take medication to keep me stable and as normal as what normal is these days.They dont interfear with my freedom i jus have to rest alot and move slower then I use to bc of dizziesness when I stand up or lay down.ok I hope it helps/ take care. marcie

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I don't know about getting a divorce. I panic when trying to live alone. He's also my transportation. I don't drive in the city. I'll start with a case manager and go from there. Do you live alone in your apartment? Have you moved on with a new man? I'm happy for you! Maria.

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@jesfactsmon

@mariajean03
Maria, the holidays can be especially difficult for many of us. It's certainly hardest for a person who is alone. Even though you and Jim share the same household your relationship is such that you feel effectively alone. I'm not sure if it would help you at all but I just want you to know that if you would like to reach out to someone in a less public way, you can always feel free to send me a private message. I can at least offer you my ears to listen. Please feel free to write to me whenever you feel the need and I guarantee I will listen and respond. Everyone should have someone they can talk to. Best to you, Hank

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Thanks Hank. I really appreciate your kindness. I will do so. Maria.

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@mariajean03

I am a good baker but have no desire to make cookies this year. Maybe pies or something. My siblings may get together on December 19TH. depending on Covid. I get invited once a year. It's so fakey! I have found a lady thru a Church who will meet with me once per week. It's called Stephen ministry for people who are suffering. One hour is better than nothing. Thanks.

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mariajean03 Pies are good too! You say that your siblings are "fakey." Are they "fakey" towards you or just in general? I'm just curious if you are the family scapegoat or if this is just how they interact with one another? It's good you found a lady through a church but once a week doesn't seem that often. I'm sure you are grateful for that 1 hour.

COVID-19 has not been easy. Are there any other good suggestions you've received regarding how to connect more often with more people?

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I'm over whelmed with all your suggestions! I'm looking into all your advice. And I'm also praying a lot. Thanks to all for caring so much. Maria.

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@erikas

mariajean03 Pies are good too! You say that your siblings are "fakey." Are they "fakey" towards you or just in general? I'm just curious if you are the family scapegoat or if this is just how they interact with one another? It's good you found a lady through a church but once a week doesn't seem that often. I'm sure you are grateful for that 1 hour.

COVID-19 has not been easy. Are there any other good suggestions you've received regarding how to connect more often with more people?

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None of them can express any sad feelings. They drink them away. And yes. I'm the scapegoat with all the problems! Thanks. Maria.

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@mariajean03

None of them can express any sad feelings. They drink them away. And yes. I'm the scapegoat with all the problems! Thanks. Maria.

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@mariajean03
Maria, in my family, pain is an alien term. Most of my 6 siblings and my parents have never been very sick and none have ever dealt with any long term pain. They also don't relate to unhappiness. They only relate to keeping things light, don't be too serious, don't be deep. Most do not know how to show any sort of deep affection either. They act like they care, in a superficial way and will show concern, as long as you don't demand too much of their time listening to some tale of woe. It's a funny bunch. Not bad people at all, just no experience of much bad in their lives and not much interest in unhappy or uncomfortable topics. Unlike your siblings, mine do not drink much, or have any addictions per se.

My wife is probably the sickest most pain-ridden person connected to my family. They make sure to sound caring and I know they intend to show compassion, just not to the point of dwelling on it too long. Because of this I often find it difficult to relate to some people in my family. I still love all of them, but I just know not to expect too much of them or more than is realistic.

I tell you this just to convey to you that it is probably not that uncommon for someone with a lot of health issues to not receive much caring and compassion from within their family circle. It might be good to just accept them for what they are and for what they have to offer and leave it at that. The way it sounds, you probably will get more emotional support and understanding on Mayo Connect than you will from your siblings.

But if I am in any way missing the mark as it applies to you, please feel free to discount this as you see fit. Best to you, Hank

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@mariajean03

None of them can express any sad feelings. They drink them away. And yes. I'm the scapegoat with all the problems! Thanks. Maria.

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@mariajean03 That's a tough place to be. Do you have any sibling you feel closer to?

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@mariajean03

I don't know about getting a divorce. I panic when trying to live alone. He's also my transportation. I don't drive in the city. I'll start with a case manager and go from there. Do you live alone in your apartment? Have you moved on with a new man? I'm happy for you! Maria.

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its been a while sence my divorce. it played such a significant role in my life I often refer to it as something possitive.i was single for 10 years. I finally went on e harmony and I met my partner 13 years ago. There just wasnt no escaping the losers until I got help! .
.

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