I'm sorry to hear your wife is so sick. Can I ask how she suffers? You're right. My family do not want to hear anything negative. I can't help it, but depression brings that out in me. What has happened to caring about the less fortunate? Thank God He loves me. I am so blessed to still have my faith. Maria.

I want to feel close to my younger sister. Her husband has untreated OCD so she's got her hands full but thought she'd understand. She has no interest in sharing anything with me. I'm the weird one. That will always be. Nobody cares I'm even alive. Maria.

Maria "you" are way to hard on yourself.when you say nobody cares if you're even alive. I use to have a very very low opinion of myself too. I think its because we dont give ourselfs enough credit for the things we do. We have to be our own advocates sometimes and seek out the help we need for ourselfs.No one should have to live in an enviroment that tears down our positivity. I had to learn the hard way with my family. I dont talk to my sisters about my day to day life.We will just share words about how everybodyis doing and here lately its been about trying to avoid getting covid 19.I live in Sellersburg Indiana.Its 12miles north of Louisvilly Ky. Private message me for my phone number. You can call me and dont be surprised to learn how much we have in common.I hate hearing about how much you are going through and I just want to try and help you get your spunk back….marcie
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I suggest that you discuss your medications with your doctor. It seems to me that they need adjusted. Perhaps a sleeping pill would help. I am a Roman Catholic. I pray my Rosary at night and meditate on scenes from Jesus' life until I fall asleep. I find that calms my racing mind. About six weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a rare incurable disease, adhesive arachnoiditis. It is extremely painful and severely limits my quality of life. At first I was in shock. A couple of weeks later, the anxiety set in, and I felt myself standing on the precipice of that dark well of depression. I knew that if I fell in, I would have a very difficult time climbing out. I realized that my choice of thoughts was now critical. First, I reminded myself that I am God's child, and it is His job to take care of me, especially now that I almost cannot take care of myself. I have a terrific therapist, and she was able to help me considerably. It is a mistake to look to other people for love and support. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. We also have to remember that God loves us first and foremost. Instead of talking to other people, I bring all my hurts and fears to God who strengthens me. Our mental health issues are for Him to take care of. We can change our negative thoughts to positive ones. Other people will ALWAYS let us down. God won't. I have placed my life in God's hands, so He cares for me. My life still has purpose and meaning in His eyes, even though I was beginning to think I was worthless. WRONG! There are still things I can do, like pray for and support people in this group. Every life has value in God's eyes, and He loves us so much!!! I recall my mother asking, "What is wrong with you?" I could hear the shame in her voice. We need to remember that we suffer from a mental illness and that still carries a stigma in today's society, although it is much better than it was when I was a child in the 50's. Yes, it would be nice if our families were kind and understanding with us, but sometimes they are just incapable of it. Family often fear that they may succumb to the same condition, and some individuals actually think that mental illness is contagious!. The best advice I can give anyone suffering from depression is: 1. Faithfully take the medication your doctor has prescribed. Sometimes it takes a little while to find the right combo, so be patient; 2. Find a good therapist that you can trust and relate to; 3. Give your life to God as you know Him/Her. Pray a lot. Meditate on how much you are loved. Ask God to bring the right people into your life. Trust Him/Her; 4. Be grateful for even the little things; 5. Get your mind off yourself and find someone else to help. This worked for me, and I hope it helps all of you! Thanksgiving Blessings to all!!!

@mariajean03
Maria, you say "Nobody cares" but you also have faith in God. I just want to tell you what I realized a long time ago: It's wonderful if we can share with and be supported by others in this world. But here is the truth: we are ALL alone ultimately. Nobody accompanies you into this world and when you leave you will leave alone. But, God was with you before you got here, he's on this crazy ride with you now, and he will be with you when you leave. In other words, worldly relationships are temporary. Don't get too hung up on who likes/cares about you or doesn't. If you try to keep this in mind maybe you will feel better about your situation. (I know, it's much easier to say what is true than to make yourself believe it on a deep level. But it's good to try nonetheless.) Best, Hank

@lulu4982
Hi, you have a tremendously good attitude about your life. I know from your previous post that you have had a difficult life with much pain, sorrow and depression. I am so glad you have come to Connect to both learn and to share your positivity with others. Besides faith, what things have helped you in your life? And what is the plan for you going forward in dealing with arachnoiditis? Is it purely pain management or are there procedures that can help?

BTW, I also just want to point out that there is a recent discussion about arachnoiditis which you may want to read through:
"Arachnoiditis: Looking to talk with others": https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/arachnoiditis/?utm_campaign=search

Best, Hank

Everybody needs somebody in this life Hank. God made us to be with and help each other. Right now I'm so dizzy from my meds I can't stand it. I don't trust my Dr. and getting into a new one is a 6 month wait. You are right though. I need to quit comparing myself to others. I just hate feeling on the outside of society's circle. I'm going to Mass tonite. I'll pray for some people on this site. Thanks. Maria.

I believe in the power of prayer. Please pray for me. I fractured a bone in my neck and my neck is giving me fits and my head hurts–also, I feel dizzy! A lot of prayers would be appreciated from people. I appreciate your prayers! God bless you from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. woogie.

@woogie Sending prayers and blessings 🙏

Hank, I surely agree with you. Every word. Yes, we are alone in this world. I have known this since I was born, I think. I learned about God as a child. Yes, He is with us, He has been before we were born and is with us for eternity. It has been CRAZY RIDE for sure. I do enjoy your posts.

Thank you!

I THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. Prayers are so appreciated!