@mariajean03 It's hard when you open up to your siblings and they tell you to be happy with what you have. That is incredibly invalidating and I'm sure that you feel even more alone in those moments.
You are in a tough spot. It doesn't sound like you have anyone that is a consistent emotional support. I don't fully know your situation but your participating in Mayo Clinic Connect is likely incredibly beneficial to your well-being. I encourage you to keep reading, posting, and responding. I also encourage you to find creatively ways to attempt to have your needs met with the resources that you have, which I know are extremely limited.
The holidays can be hard, especially with COVID-19. I personally love to watch old Christmas movies like, "It's a Wonderful Life" and read, "A Christmas Carol." Do you have any happy holiday traditions you can do alone? Can you bake cookies and send to loved ones?
You mentioned that you would be alone for the holidays, I'm wondering if you will be able to video chat with friends/family?