My wife forgetting: Diagnosed with MCI

My wife was initially diagnosed with MCI back in 2014 but the progression has not been fast except for the last month. My wife retired back in 2012 because of memory issues and I retired two years later. We joined a gym back in 2014 and it has been great for her. Our old gym closed down in early 2020 but we continued going for walks in the neighborhood (3-5 miles). I really believed the activity/exercise helped delay the progression. Lately, she has been having trouble knowing where to get a glass for some water or where the knives & forks are for dinner. I’ve started emptying the dishwasher, otherwise its a really challenge to the different utensils. So far, we have been lucky and has not needed any drugs but I think that may be changing. The neurologist has recommended Aricept and I think she may agree to start taking it. Every day we agree to enjoy the day because we don’t know what tomorrow brings. We have a challenge in front of us but I don’t think we understand what that challenge really entails. If you can retire, I would recommend it so you can enjoy each other’s company while you can.
Dan

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I appreciate you sharing Dan. My husband has become worse in the past few months as well. He no longer drives without me as he will get lost and I accompany him to his medical (all) appointments because he has no recall once the appointment is over. I have gotten out bikes equipped with new tires and we ride bikes and take walks. I spend my lunch hour walking or riding with him when I work from home. He also has spinal stenosis which makes much exercise difficult, but he enjoys what we do together. Our neurologist put him on Aricept a year ago. It made him very confused and seemed to make him much worse. Dr. took him off and said that happens sometimes. I have a white board for him and I write things down so he will remember things. But, lately he forgets to look at the white board. He gets very agitated easily. He actually had to retire 10 years ago since the condition interfered with his confidence level. I agree and would like to retire, but healthcare is an issue since I am only 60 and won't qualify for Medicare until 65. I have him on my employee insurance plan. I wish there was a solution to that problem. He is also a cancer survivor, so keeping his physicians is important. Thank you again for sharing, it helps. Taking one day at a time is so important. And keep smiling.

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Orca59
It's difficult but important to reassess your partner's condition each day. My wife will go to the grocery store (about 1/2 mile away) once a week by her self. But even with that I make sure she has her phone with her all the time when she leaves the house. I can track the phone and if she is in trouble she can call. She has called twice in the last 3 months. Once because she “lost” her debit/credit card and couldn’t pay for the groceries. I met her at the store and paid for the groceries and when we got home, I found her debit/credit card in her wallet. She was so anxious, she didn’t see the debit/credit card. The 2nd time was when she “lost” her car keys because she got anxious, she didn’t see the keys in her pocketbook.
The other day we went out to our favorite breakfast place (which we have been to at least a hundred times and is only a couple of miles away) but I asked her to drive home. After a while, I asked her where we were going and she said “I want to go home” but she didn’t know where she was 😞. We were only a couples miles from home and on a portion of the road that we have travelled hundreds of times but she just did not recognize any landmarks, stores or signs. Needless to say this is a progression that I was not expecting but I need to keep in mind as we travel in the future.
I wish there was some medication that could slow the process but from what my wife's neurologist has told us, there isn't any medications that will work for everyone with MCI.
Friends and neighbors have come up to me a few times asking if my wife is ok because she is repeating herself. I let them know she has MCI and describe her condition. I asked my wife awhile ago if it was ok to let other people know about her MCI because she knows she repeats herself and she said it was ok. Some of the neighbors stay away but the friends (true friends) still stop by.
At night, we will talk about the day's activities and see if she remembers everything. If not, I will fill her in and discuss any issues we had because of her MCI. We both think it is VERY important to keep our communication open and not hide anything. We might hide something from outsiders but not between ourselves.
Sorry for the long winded response.
Dan

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Hi Dan, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of wisdom. Please feel free to be as long winded as you wish. I appreciate someone who is going through the same experience and has some wisdom and kindness to share. THANK YOU! I have also experienced my husband sitting in the drivers seat and just looking lost. He goes no where without me as he also forgets how to get places, and more importantly, how to get home. GPS is fine, but he also forgets how to turn it on so that is no longer an option. He also has no recollection of landmarks most days. He will have good days and bad which is confusing to me, but I appreciate the good days.

I find him now sitting at the kitchen table waiting for a meal, when we just had the meal some 30 minutes before. He will get a bowl of ice cream, and 30 minutes or so later go into the kitchen and get another bowl of ice cream. He no longer (some days) remembers that he ate.

I have also been contacted (sadly) by friends and neighbors stating that my husbands conversations are, at times, inappropriate. He will sometimes say things, he thinks are funny or have nothing to do with the conversation. I also share that he has MCI and he is in agreement (as is your wife) that I share this with close friends and family. My grown children try to understand, but even for them, they seem to have stopped texting him as much. (He is step dad x 30 years now).

I love that you shared you and your wife talk at night. We do this as well in a similar way. If my husband realizes he forgot a great deal, he will get very emotional and upset. So I try to just review the day as if I am remembering and sharing. This seems to not upset him as much. I completely agree with your views of "open and honest". So very important. I love him dearly and it breaks my heart. I feel our relationship has shifted. I take care of everything now and am thankful that I can. I may be small, but I am mighty! LOL
May I ask, does your wife remember everything from long ago? My husband remembers everything from his childhood. Nothing from the past recent years. He also cries often. Get's anxious and angry often. He also has horrible nightmares and many times will wake up kicking me and crying? Our neurologist put him on a medication for this, but it made him so tired. I believe it was some type of tranquilizer. So, we discontinued it. Our neurologist also stated there is no medication to stop/help this disease process.

Thank you again for your kind words and sharing your story with me. I hope that we may continue to share. It is a blessing to know there are other's living with a loved one with MCI. Thank you and blessings to you. Janice

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I can relate...my mom has the same issues...it is heartbreaking...I have no advice but to share my mantra with you....patience, compassion and love.

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I appreciate you sharing about your Mom and I am so sorry. I love your mantra, they are so deserving of all the patience, compassion and love we can give. Thank you!

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Hi Dan, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of wisdom. Please feel free to be as long winded as you wish. I appreciate someone who is going through the same experience and has some wisdom and kindness to share. THANK YOU! I have also experienced my husband sitting in the drivers seat and just looking lost. He goes no where without me as he also forgets how to get places, and more importantly, how to get home. GPS is fine, but he also forgets how to turn it on so that is no longer an option. He also has no recollection of landmarks most days. He will have good days and bad which is confusing to me, but I appreciate the good days.

I find him now sitting at the kitchen table waiting for a meal, when we just had the meal some 30 minutes before. He will get a bowl of ice cream, and 30 minutes or so later go into the kitchen and get another bowl of ice cream. He no longer (some days) remembers that he ate.

I have also been contacted (sadly) by friends and neighbors stating that my husbands conversations are, at times, inappropriate. He will sometimes say things, he thinks are funny or have nothing to do with the conversation. I also share that he has MCI and he is in agreement (as is your wife) that I share this with close friends and family. My grown children try to understand, but even for them, they seem to have stopped texting him as much. (He is step dad x 30 years now).

I love that you shared you and your wife talk at night. We do this as well in a similar way. If my husband realizes he forgot a great deal, he will get very emotional and upset. So I try to just review the day as if I am remembering and sharing. This seems to not upset him as much. I completely agree with your views of "open and honest". So very important. I love him dearly and it breaks my heart. I feel our relationship has shifted. I take care of everything now and am thankful that I can. I may be small, but I am mighty! LOL
May I ask, does your wife remember everything from long ago? My husband remembers everything from his childhood. Nothing from the past recent years. He also cries often. Get's anxious and angry often. He also has horrible nightmares and many times will wake up kicking me and crying? Our neurologist put him on a medication for this, but it made him so tired. I believe it was some type of tranquilizer. So, we discontinued it. Our neurologist also stated there is no medication to stop/help this disease process.

Thank you again for your kind words and sharing your story with me. I hope that we may continue to share. It is a blessing to know there are other's living with a loved one with MCI. Thank you and blessings to you. Janice

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Has your husband been diagnosed with REM Sleep Behavior Disorder (Acting out dream state, talking in sleep etc). It is a major criteria for Lewy Body Dementia. Important to know that diagnosis as drugs such as Halperidol or similar for agitation are not recommended and can make symptoms worse.

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Hi Dan, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of wisdom. Please feel free to be as long winded as you wish. I appreciate someone who is going through the same experience and has some wisdom and kindness to share. THANK YOU! I have also experienced my husband sitting in the drivers seat and just looking lost. He goes no where without me as he also forgets how to get places, and more importantly, how to get home. GPS is fine, but he also forgets how to turn it on so that is no longer an option. He also has no recollection of landmarks most days. He will have good days and bad which is confusing to me, but I appreciate the good days.

I find him now sitting at the kitchen table waiting for a meal, when we just had the meal some 30 minutes before. He will get a bowl of ice cream, and 30 minutes or so later go into the kitchen and get another bowl of ice cream. He no longer (some days) remembers that he ate.

I have also been contacted (sadly) by friends and neighbors stating that my husbands conversations are, at times, inappropriate. He will sometimes say things, he thinks are funny or have nothing to do with the conversation. I also share that he has MCI and he is in agreement (as is your wife) that I share this with close friends and family. My grown children try to understand, but even for them, they seem to have stopped texting him as much. (He is step dad x 30 years now).

I love that you shared you and your wife talk at night. We do this as well in a similar way. If my husband realizes he forgot a great deal, he will get very emotional and upset. So I try to just review the day as if I am remembering and sharing. This seems to not upset him as much. I completely agree with your views of "open and honest". So very important. I love him dearly and it breaks my heart. I feel our relationship has shifted. I take care of everything now and am thankful that I can. I may be small, but I am mighty! LOL
May I ask, does your wife remember everything from long ago? My husband remembers everything from his childhood. Nothing from the past recent years. He also cries often. Get's anxious and angry often. He also has horrible nightmares and many times will wake up kicking me and crying? Our neurologist put him on a medication for this, but it made him so tired. I believe it was some type of tranquilizer. So, we discontinued it. Our neurologist also stated there is no medication to stop/help this disease process.

Thank you again for your kind words and sharing your story with me. I hope that we may continue to share. It is a blessing to know there are other's living with a loved one with MCI. Thank you and blessings to you. Janice

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