My wife forgetting: Diagnosed with MCI

Posted by jimmars51 @jimmars51, Nov 29, 2020

She has been diagnosed with M C I for 18 months. More and more lately she will ask if we ate anything today. She very rarely cooks now and if i don’t schedule and make meals she goes without. I am trying best to stay up with everything, but its getting tough. Just need to “unload” and ask for ideas to be able to keep up. Lots more going on also.

@orca59

Bless your heart, it sounds like you are so very patient and kind. My husband also brings me his phone and says things like, "Can you fix this on my phone, I have never seen this before". And, there is nothing at all different on the phone. He just forgets how to navigate through it. So I understand your dear wife not being able to find the text button. This morning my husband asked me what month we were in and he thought it was June. He also seems to be nervous if I am away for any length of time such as the store, or visiting family for a few hours. He is reluctant to let me drive too far and fears something will happen to me. I have started to stay home more and sometimes feel so sad. I need to find a way to balance seeing other members of my family. Both families live an hour away. I work on patience too. Especially the repetitive nature of his questions. You are correct, these are small things in the scheme of things, and I too need to work on fixing that part of myself. May I ask how old your dear wife is? My husband is 71, but I saw glimpses of the changes years ago.

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Orca59
My wife is 72 and was 1st diagnosed back 2014 but I'm still learning. She lost her sense of smell & taste over a year ago and no we are thinking her constipation (going on for over a month) might also be due to MCI. We can’t find a MD that agrees, all they say “it could be”. Very frustrating for her since none of the over-the-counter medications (recommended by her PCP) are working.
We go to the gym together (about every other day) and when she get's on a machine (treadmill, bicycle, etc) I check on her to see if she has any questions then I go and work out (but keeping one eye on her). Sometimes she will forget her headphones, so I'll go track them down because otherwise she will get upset. If I don't find the headphones, I give her one (an extra I keep in my bag) and say I found it, that way she doesn't get upset. We live in the Northeast, so luckily she at least knows what season it is. 😊 but generally she doesn't know what month/day it is.
I do try to keep her involved in day to day activities as much as possible. Because of past problems, I ask to review all the checks she writes for the monthly bills. I seal all the envelopes and mail them. It would be a lot easier (for me) if we paid the bills electronically but I want her involved as much as possible in household matters. I know, eventually, I will be taking care of everything but until then, I try to keep her involved, for her own peace of mind.
I know what we are doing would be impossible if I was still working, so I’m very lucky to have been able to retire at 66. Good luck.

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@ggibson

The extra headphones idea is a Jedi level tip! Thanks and I wish the best for you both.

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Brilliant idea about the headphones and compassionate caring. Your wife is truly blessed to have your loving care. You are my living mantra: Patience, Compassion, Love.

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A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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@tunared

A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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DanL @tunared You are fantastic! Such creative and thoughtful ideas to make life work for you both……Wnat a great life partner. Blessings, DanL , elizabeth

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@tunared

A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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Dan –
Your problem solving approach to keeping your wife healthy and involved make me smile. What a wonderful and compassionate partner you are.
Sue

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