My wife forgetting: Diagnosed with MCI

Posted by jimmars51 @jimmars51, Nov 29, 2020

She has been diagnosed with M C I for 18 months. More and more lately she will ask if we ate anything today. She very rarely cooks now and if i don’t schedule and make meals she goes without. I am trying best to stay up with everything, but its getting tough. Just need to “unload” and ask for ideas to be able to keep up. Lots more going on also.

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A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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@tunared

A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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DanL @tunared You are fantastic! Such creative and thoughtful ideas to make life work for you both……Wnat a great life partner. Blessings, DanL , elizabeth

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@tunared

A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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Dan –
Your problem solving approach to keeping your wife healthy and involved make me smile. What a wonderful and compassionate partner you are.
Sue

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@tunared

my wife has been having memory issues since 2012 when she had to retire. However, the best thing about her issues are that they are progressing slowly. She was diagnosed in 2014, where the PHD wanted to put her on medication immediately. Because of the side effects of the medication, she said no (I agreed with her). She saw a neurologist a couple of months ago, where she went through all the tests to rule out everything else and he said her issues are due to mild cognitive impairment (MCI). The main recommendation I can give you is keep your verbal communications between you two open. My wife can't remember what we did yesterday but she has no problem asking me what we did yesterday. At night, we sometimes talk about what we did during the day and she may not remember everything but with hints, I will challenge her to remember. She may not remember everything but she tries and feels good when she does remember somethings.
Sometimes she will stand in the middle of the kitchen and wonder why she is there or where the utensils are. It's sometimes a challenge to find items after she empties the dishwasher but I take it as a game and she is challenging me. You cannot get upset with ANYTHING she does because she is not doing it on purpose.
Instead of you doing everything, how about you work as a team with you directing the team. Have her set the table, make a part of the meal, get the drinks, etc. Whenever my wife uses the stove (gas), she knows she must put on the fan, so I know the stove is on. my wife has left a stove burner on and I made sure she knows how dangerous it is. I know in the not to distant future, I will be the only one who uses the stove. I'm not mad or upset, it just going to be another stage in our lives together (51 years so far). I guess, my only recommendation is for the two of you to keep talking about her condition but in a non-critical manner. and keep reaching out to this forum as a sounding board and a release.
It is also important to complete your estate planning. We also completed our prepaid funeral arrangements even though we do not anticipate using the funeral arrangements for many years.
Dan

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Has your wife been on Xarelto blood thinner. This blood thinner almost put me in nursing home. Lots of side effects. The 3 years later I started have same side effects from thyroid medication. I am off thyroid and taking natural vitamins, doing great and getting my energy, life back to normal. Prayers

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@farmer0233

Has your wife been on Xarelto blood thinner. This blood thinner almost put me in nursing home. Lots of side effects. The 3 years later I started have same side effects from thyroid medication. I am off thyroid and taking natural vitamins, doing great and getting my energy, life back to normal. Prayers

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Other than a few eye drops, my wife is off all medications and doing a lot better. Going to the gym for 1-2 hours helps her (and me) more than anything a MD could prescribe.

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@tunared

A new adventure at the gym. This should make everyone smile.
My wife & I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week and the exercise is great for my wife. I can tell the difference in her if we don't go for two days. When she locks her coat and pocket book in a locker, she uses a combination lock (and it's not a issue because I wrote the combination on the inside of the side of her sneaker). Well, the other day i was waiting for her to come out of the ladies locker room and it was taking awhile. then she came out and asked about the combination for the lock. We went over the combination and she went back into the locker room. I asked the manager (a lady) to check on her. then both of them came out and said they couldn't open the lock. Then it was my turn to try (manager made sure it was empty). My wife pointed out the locker and I tried the combination without any luck. Next step was to cut the lock. We got a bolt cutter and I cut the lock and left the locker room. Think it's all over? guess again.
my wife said it's not her things in the locker. Huh? Then her and the manager looked around the locker room and low & behold her lock was on another locker AND the combination worked! We bought the other woman a new combination lock and I gave my wife a new lock with a key and I put red & yellow tape on the lock to make it stand out (even in the dark). She now has the key on a necklace that she wears around her neck.
We successfully jumped over another bump in the MCI road. Hope this brought a few smiles

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Yes….I’ve done that myself but didn’t get to the lock cutting stage….humor in everything

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I am so grateful for the love that is so visible throughout these posts. Caregiving is a rewarding act of devotion and selflessness on a physical and emotionally draining adventure. The positive comments and the "creative adjustments" have lifted my spirits today! Thanks for all the ideas……and for the quick adjustments to situations that could have gone in a totally different direction. Lots of love and hope here today! I just want to hug someone!

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@tunared

Other than a few eye drops, my wife is off all medications and doing a lot better. Going to the gym for 1-2 hours helps her (and me) more than anything a MD could prescribe.

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I have been going through another drug side effects. Thyroid medication, same side effects as the blood thinner Xarelto. I was ready for a nursing home because I was losing my memory and dizzy, blurred vision and double vision, couldn't drive. I have been off the thyroid for about 3 weeks and getting my life back. Still blurred vision but its better. MD including thyroid specialist are not listening. It was the thyroid and I have contacted FDA, doesn't look like they are investigating the issue. Just found out my neighbor is having issues with same medication. Eight prescriptions from October until July. Higher the dosage the worse the side effects.
Prayers
Don't give up.

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@teacher502

I am so grateful for the love that is so visible throughout these posts. Caregiving is a rewarding act of devotion and selflessness on a physical and emotionally draining adventure. The positive comments and the "creative adjustments" have lifted my spirits today! Thanks for all the ideas……and for the quick adjustments to situations that could have gone in a totally different direction. Lots of love and hope here today! I just want to hug someone!

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Hug returned.
Your words bout caregiving being a rewarding act of devotion and selflessness on a Physical and emotionally draining adventure bear repeating!!! From my standpoint as a LBD patient – I just. Want tot say a big thank you for what all of you caregivers do for each of us – everyday. Even if we cant say it.

Peace
Larry H

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@larryh123

Hug returned.
Your words bout caregiving being a rewarding act of devotion and selflessness on a Physical and emotionally draining adventure bear repeating!!! From my standpoint as a LBD patient – I just. Want tot say a big thank you for what all of you caregivers do for each of us – everyday. Even if we cant say it.

Peace
Larry H

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Big crocodile tears of Thanksgiving for your words….the energy you used to write this is evidence of your deep love for all of "us caregivers" Aka…best friends! This is a great journey and the saddest one of my life. It is a journey with so many unpredicted twists and turns that only someone with unquestionable, unconditional love could walk. The highs are amazing (those moments where personality returns) and the lows are deep struggles trying to understand how to help.
Larry, you are a great gift to so many of us. Grateful that God has allowed you to hold on to the ability to write about your journey "from the inside" while those of us "on the outside" reap the benefit of your words while we learn how to better understand the LBD journey we walk. It is quite probable that our hearts will continually enlarge as we reap the rewards of making the most of moments.
Prayers of Thanksgiving for you and the Mayo Clinic Connect that brings so much hope, encouragement amd strength to face each unpredictable day!
Jan

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