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jimmars51 (@jimmars51)

My wife forgetting: Diagnosed with MCI

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Oct 12, 2021 | Replies (65)

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@orca59

Hi Dan, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of wisdom. Please feel free to be as long winded as you wish. I appreciate someone who is going through the same experience and has some wisdom and kindness to share. THANK YOU! I have also experienced my husband sitting in the drivers seat and just looking lost. He goes no where without me as he also forgets how to get places, and more importantly, how to get home. GPS is fine, but he also forgets how to turn it on so that is no longer an option. He also has no recollection of landmarks most days. He will have good days and bad which is confusing to me, but I appreciate the good days.

I find him now sitting at the kitchen table waiting for a meal, when we just had the meal some 30 minutes before. He will get a bowl of ice cream, and 30 minutes or so later go into the kitchen and get another bowl of ice cream. He no longer (some days) remembers that he ate.

I have also been contacted (sadly) by friends and neighbors stating that my husbands conversations are, at times, inappropriate. He will sometimes say things, he thinks are funny or have nothing to do with the conversation. I also share that he has MCI and he is in agreement (as is your wife) that I share this with close friends and family. My grown children try to understand, but even for them, they seem to have stopped texting him as much. (He is step dad x 30 years now).

I love that you shared you and your wife talk at night. We do this as well in a similar way. If my husband realizes he forgot a great deal, he will get very emotional and upset. So I try to just review the day as if I am remembering and sharing. This seems to not upset him as much. I completely agree with your views of "open and honest". So very important. I love him dearly and it breaks my heart. I feel our relationship has shifted. I take care of everything now and am thankful that I can. I may be small, but I am mighty! LOL
May I ask, does your wife remember everything from long ago? My husband remembers everything from his childhood. Nothing from the past recent years. He also cries often. Get's anxious and angry often. He also has horrible nightmares and many times will wake up kicking me and crying? Our neurologist put him on a medication for this, but it made him so tired. I believe it was some type of tranquilizer. So, we discontinued it. Our neurologist also stated there is no medication to stop/help this disease process.

Thank you again for your kind words and sharing your story with me. I hope that we may continue to share. It is a blessing to know there are other's living with a loved one with MCI. Thank you and blessings to you. Janice

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Replies to "Hi Dan, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of wisdom. Please feel..."

I can relate…my mom has the same issues…it is heartbreaking…I have no advice but to share my mantra with you….patience, compassion and love.

Has your husband been diagnosed with REM Sleep Behavior Disorder (Acting out dream state, talking in sleep etc). It is a major criteria for Lewy Body Dementia. Important to know that diagnosis as drugs such as Halperidol or similar for agitation are not recommended and can make symptoms worse.

Orca59
My wife can remember minute details from many years ago but not so much from the last few years. She has never been great with technology but I forget that sometimes, like today when I was driving and asked her to text our granddaughter that we were on our way to pick her up. She couldn't remember how to use the phone or which icon to tap on to start a text message. Then she started getting upset, calling herself stupid and other names. I apologized for asking her to send the text message and tried to calm her down before we got to our granddaughter’s house. It was my fault that she was upset because I forgot she has MCI. We took our granddaughter to lunch at a restaurant that we have been to about 3-4 times over the last few years. My wife told our granddaughter we had never been to the restaurant before. I never corrected her because I knew she would get upset. I find it difficult sometimes to remember that my beautiful wife of 51 years is having a problem with her memory but that’s my problem and I will work on fixing it.

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