My son decided to disappear without a trace at 54 years old.

Posted by maone @maone, Tue, Jul 30 9:45am

He left his wife and family three months ago.

@merpreb

@maone– I know that you want to reach out and you are to those who need support. Connect is a wonderful place to help heal yourself by doing just that! I thank you.

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Yes, I do and thanks for your reply ❤️

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@maone

I meant before he disappeared he called me but not afterwards. Thanks for replying to me. There are always many things that people don’t know about everything. I have not said many things to protect others. I reached out because I was hurting. I am still hurting. I was hurting before when there was not much communication from the family but you take what you can get. Things can always be worse or better. I want to be able to reach out and help others also. When people started saying I should do this or that I almost stopped responding as I don’t need more stress but less. I have Fibromyalgia and this has not helped it of course. I’m only trying to do what is right for everyone involved. One cannot make another care or love them. Or even communicate with them. One doesn’t want to be lied to either as then you can’t trust them. I still believe that prayer is the best thing and to be doing what one feels like God wants them to do in circumstances. May God bless you ❤️

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@maone I think that your posting right from the beginning was so very brave, as you put in words what you were living. I think that it made many of us think about our own lives and how we might react to such a situation. No doubt some of us responded from our own
"seat in the stands". But you knew that many of us were supporting you, rooting for you, and hoping right alongside of you, for a good outcome. While it may not be what you fully wanted, knowing that he is alive is a blessing. How you will move forward from this is a daily testament to your strength. I, for one, thank you for your openness, and understanding that we all meant well.
Ginger

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@gingerw

@maone I think that your posting right from the beginning was so very brave, as you put in words what you were living. I think that it made many of us think about our own lives and how we might react to such a situation. No doubt some of us responded from our own
"seat in the stands". But you knew that many of us were supporting you, rooting for you, and hoping right alongside of you, for a good outcome. While it may not be what you fully wanted, knowing that he is alive is a blessing. How you will move forward from this is a daily testament to your strength. I, for one, thank you for your openness, and understanding that we all meant well.
Ginger

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Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never really knows how another really feels unless they have gone through the same thing. Even so we can always say a prayer or let one know we care that they are hurting. Only God knows our future and I’m glad of that for sure. It seems like all kinds of things happened after this. Like the air going out and had to be replaced and a truck falling apart and had to be replaced and I got food poisoning and that took so much out of me. Sure wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But do know that is all part of life but still isn’t easy and with my Fibromyalgia I’m really sensitive to many things. Seems so many people are hurting each other these days on purpose and even getting thrills from it. So very sad. Well, you’ve got me talking again.lol Thanks so much for your caring. Praying for you also ❤️

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I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@jakedduck1 I remind you of Mayo Clinic Connect's Community Guidelines https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/ In particular, note item number 2
"Remain respectful at all times.
– Exercise tolerance and respect toward other participants whose views may differ from your own. Disagreements are fine, but mutual respect is a must.
– Be inclusive. Not everyone shares the same religious or political beliefs. Don't impose your beliefs on others.
– Personal attacks against members or health care providers are not acceptable. Such posts will be removed."

Your post will be removed. Please send me a private message or reply using this form if you wish to talk to me about the decision https://connect.mayoclinic.org/contact-a-community-moderator/

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@maone

I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@maone you're right. Connect is a community of support; not judgement — ever. No member can know the whole story of another member. No member should tell another what they should do. Our Community Guidelines ( https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/) offer 10 short rules of conduct that help keep the Mayo Clinic Connect community safe, supportive, inclusive, and respectful.

I'm sorry that you were on the receiving end of a harsh judgement by another member. Their post has been removed. You are a welcome and important member of the community. I hope you will continue to participate on Connect, to give and get support.

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@maone– Please continue on Connect. I hope that one person's poor judgement won't keep you from helping others. You have a unique experience that can help so many people, an empathy that goes very deep. And there are other groups that would benefit your wisdom. Shall I send you a link?

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@maone

I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@maone Please don’t stop responding. You have good insight into a situation that many of us are unfamiliar with. And you have a wonderful, quiet manner!

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@colleenyoung

@jakedduck1 I remind you of Mayo Clinic Connect's Community Guidelines https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/ In particular, note item number 2
"Remain respectful at all times.
– Exercise tolerance and respect toward other participants whose views may differ from your own. Disagreements are fine, but mutual respect is a must.
– Be inclusive. Not everyone shares the same religious or political beliefs. Don't impose your beliefs on others.
– Personal attacks against members or health care providers are not acceptable. Such posts will be removed."

Your post will be removed. Please send me a private message or reply using this form if you wish to talk to me about the decision https://connect.mayoclinic.org/contact-a-community-moderator/

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@coleenyoung
Hello

I was initially surprised at your response to Leonard’s post as I doubt that he was being judgmental. However, this is a good reminder that we have to be so careful what we post. We don’t really know the person we are responding to. We can get careless because this is such a friendly and well intentioned group and, as you know, we trade barbs among each other such as Leonard’s reference to my obnoxious cooking concoctions. I never took offense but someone else might.

We’ve seen the devastating effects of social media posts. We think out loud and often write down our thoughts because we are curious and like to share our opinions. So it behooves us to think twice before hitting the Reply button. I personally would feel horrible if I hurt someone unintentionally with my words and would want to know.. I’m sure we have all done this in our lives at some time. I’m glad @maone shared her hurt.

FL Mary

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@maone

I’m very sorry you feel this way. You don’t know the whole story. I forgive you and ask for your forgiveness. There is no way I’m trying to be selfish. So now I’ll stop replying to anyone. Im very hurt that you feel this way. You now will see I wasn’t trying to get attention.God bless

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@maone Each person walks their own road. While I cannot imagine how rough it has been for you, please accept my apologies on behalf of anyone who may have said something out of line in your situation. I hope you will continue posting here on Connect. Your insight is valuable.
Ginger

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@maone

Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never really knows how another really feels unless they have gone through the same thing. Even so we can always say a prayer or let one know we care that they are hurting. Only God knows our future and I’m glad of that for sure. It seems like all kinds of things happened after this. Like the air going out and had to be replaced and a truck falling apart and had to be replaced and I got food poisoning and that took so much out of me. Sure wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But do know that is all part of life but still isn’t easy and with my Fibromyalgia I’m really sensitive to many things. Seems so many people are hurting each other these days on purpose and even getting thrills from it. So very sad. Well, you’ve got me talking again.lol Thanks so much for your caring. Praying for you also ❤️

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@maone – It's another day and I hope that the sun is shining in your neighborhood. Yikes, you had a lot to handle all at once. Food poisoning is the pits. Thank you for sharing your painful feelings. I think that they are as important as good feelings and it's difficult to express for some people. You do not have that problem and that's good. It will help you on this terrible journey.
Here is a link to our discussions on Fibromyalgia if you want to check it out. @sandytoes14, please meet @maone. She also suffers from fibromyalgia.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/feeling-at-my-with-end-with-chronic-pain-and-fibromyalgia/?commentsorderby=DESC#chv4-comment-stream-header

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@maone

Thanks so much for your reply. For your kind words. I have learned that one never really knows how another really feels unless they have gone through the same thing. Even so we can always say a prayer or let one know we care that they are hurting. Only God knows our future and I’m glad of that for sure. It seems like all kinds of things happened after this. Like the air going out and had to be replaced and a truck falling apart and had to be replaced and I got food poisoning and that took so much out of me. Sure wouldn’t wish that on anyone. But do know that is all part of life but still isn’t easy and with my Fibromyalgia I’m really sensitive to many things. Seems so many people are hurting each other these days on purpose and even getting thrills from it. So very sad. Well, you’ve got me talking again.lol Thanks so much for your caring. Praying for you also ❤️

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@maone Good morning. Are you doing ok? I’ve been thinking about you and praying that you find some peace

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