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amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 383
Joined: Jul 02, 2012

~ Moving? - NO ~

Posted by @amberpep, Jul 28, 2012

Piglet – Hi there ….. I keep getting messages in my inbox that there is a message from you, but I can’t seem to get to it. It’s not on the Board and not in my e-mail.

Hi everyone ……..
I’ve had quite an up and down week. Since I got home from VA I have felt very heavy internally, very old and just sad to see the way my daughter and her family function. I would never say anything – it’s none of my business – but it certainly doesn’t make me want to move down there. They don’t understand that with as fragile as I sometimes feel, to leave a place I’ve lived for 30+ years is very hard. One of them says “oh you’ll make new friends … you don’t have trouble doing that,” and while that’s true, I’m thinking more of my “safety net” ….. my Therapist and my Psychiatrist. They are the best ones in the whole surrounding area and why would I want to leave that? I know if I run into trouble, who to call. I’m just not able to change that right now …. maybe never. I’ve been seeing my Psychiatrist every 4-6 months for 12 years and seeing my Therapist for 10, to weed through all the trauma from my childhood and marriage. These 2 people are very important to me. I do not trust easily – especially men – and it took 4-5 years to trust my Therapist with all the real stuff about my childhood – like sexual abuse and being locked in closets. People that have never dealt with mental difficulties just don’t get it …. I just wish they would really listen and “hear” us when we try to tell them. Funny thing is both my girls are Geriatric Social Workers. And, my X husband of 40 years lives down there too.
Barb
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piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jul 29, 2012

Hi Barb not sure what happened to the messages as I sent two through to you. Sorry that you have come home disheartened, but proud that you went to visit and continue to keep in touch with your family. It’s best sometimes as the saying goes just to sit on the fence and to say nothing. I can fully understand how feeling fragile feels, I am going through a fragile stage myself at the present time and it’s not easy. It’s good that you have a great phsychiatrist and therapist who you can trust . I too feel that people just don’t understand were we come from at times. It’s hard to explain the way you feel. Will try later to send another message maybe the site went down for a while. Take care always here if you need me, Maybe try to reopen the messages as they went through my end.
Talk soon Annie x0


amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 383
Joined: Jul 02, 2012
Posted by @amberpep, Jul 29, 2012

Good morning Annie …. it was good to hear from you this morning. I’m getting ready to shower and head to church. We have a potluck after church today, and I really rarely ever go to them. They are held once a month and I think it’s been months since I’ve been to one, but I’ve made a dessert, so I’m going. But, I’d rather be home alone in my own little “nest.” I really tend to isolate, which I know isn’t good, but it feels good to me. Guess I’d better go shower, wash the bugs off, and head out to church. I guess I’ll talk to you later …. take care and enjoy yourf Sunday.
Barb


piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Jul 29, 2012

Hi Barb so proud of you for going out. Hope that youv’e had a really good time. I know at times that it can be hard to motivate ourselves, but it can at times make a difference to venture out and see other people. Take care Piglit


amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 383
Joined: Jul 02, 2012
Posted by @amberpep, Aug 3, 2012

I’m sorry this is so late in replying, but it’s been a bit of a tough week. I did go to the potluck and it seems I got sitting at a table with all older women (I’m not young either, but these ladies are “old” if you know what I mean). All they talked about was their surgeries, medications, their wayward kids and their horrible dil’s. I kept thinking ….. “get me out of here.” I do not want to become like that where all I can talk about are my ailments and pills.
This Tues. I took a dear friend to look at a nursing home for her husband …. that was a tough one as my Dad died of Alzheimer’s in a similar facility – even though it was 10 years ago, it brought up some sad memories. But, she would do this for me, and I want to be there for her. This is not easy for her – for anyone. Since I’ve been through this I know some things to ask that she doesn’t.
Then Weds. I took another girlfriend to have a breast biopsy which they told her would be “easy” ….. well they must have hit some sort of major blood vessel because they had a terrible time stopping the bleeding. It took 2 doctors and 1 nurse, alternating applying pressure to get it stopped. Now she has Parkinsons and this was not “easy” for her. Finally at 4:30 (they started at 1) we left. She was totally dazed, and wearing hospital scrubs as her clothes were all bloody. I brought her home, got her some dinner, and sat for awhile til she was becoming more like herself. Set her up with everything she needed for the night and came up here to my place. I soaked her clothes and washed them.
This has been a rough week. Thankfully right now I’m pretty stable and the Lamictal is working well. Otherwise, I’d probably be a nervous wreck and not helpful to anyone. I have tomorrow and Sunday to recoup. All I have to do is go to church Sun. AM. Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Barb


piglit
@piglit

Posts: 1651
Joined: Jan 04, 2012
Posted by @piglit, Aug 3, 2012

Hi barb not so good a week. It’s better to surround ourselves with positivity if we can, It’s easy to be pulled down when one thing happens on top of another . At times it can be a little harder to get back up , but we all do as you know. It’s called our inner strength and having faith is such a help too. Sometimes unfortunatley as you found that some people just dwell on the sadder things and seem to forget that there is happy things to talk about as well. Sorry that your week was like this for you. Rest on the weekend my dear and next week can only be better. By the way it does us good to ramble at times it’s good to talk things out with friends. Take care Annie

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