Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

@lisalucier

Hi, @elwooodsdad — that sounds very hard living with feeling so sad. You have all the right things in place, with a psychiatrist and medication.

You mention going through a major issue right now, and I'm sorry to hear that. I'm wondering if you would share a bit about what it looks like when you have a major episode?

@ladybugmg — with the research you shared on deficiency of acetyl-L-carnitine being associated with a particular subtype of depression, I'm wondering if this research has any particular significance for you personally?

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@ladybugmg

Thanks for your reply. I'm not up on the latest research on SAD as my son lives on the east coast. Since I don't live with him now that he's older, I'm not aware of how he reacts to other stimuli as far as SAD. I'll ask him when we talk next. I do think you're right about there being additional things going on with this kind of depression.

I take Emergen C to head off colds on occasion and I thought I felt energized by it, but I convinced myself it was my imagination. Perhaps it's real! I must limit my intake of Vitamin C since I have interstitial cystitis which flares when I have too much C.

Good luck with your research into SAD. I hope you will continue to share your insights into this form of depression for all of us.

Thanks, Gail
Volunteer Mentor

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@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

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One coping mechanism is to just let things be, and know it will pass. I find comfort in my pets, but sadly, I had a sweet dog die recently, and I am having issues with grief. Back to coping, it is helpful to just breathe, be quiet and coast. Giving oneself permission to feel is hard, but is a step. Concerned about recent suicidal ideation, but I let those pass, plus I no longer own,guns, for a reason. I fear this will be the death of me in time, and I just don’t care. I have no more to accomplish.

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@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

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@elwoodsdad We do what we can. I no longer have guns. I believe this is a wise choice for some.

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@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

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@elwooodsdad, Hi. My heart breaks every time I read a post on this site that reflects hopelessness. My beautiful daughter suffers from bi-polar disorder, so I am aware of how low depression can take a person. I see that Lisa has posted a Suicide hotline number. I hope you will post it in a handy place just in case you think you might act on those thoughts. Ride it out. It will pass.

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Depression is difficult no matter where you reside. Would that light would relieve thus.

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@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

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Hi windwalker
I came across info on a new study you find interesting. Google bi-polar disorder and gut bacteria link.
Ainsleigh

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I’m really struggling these past 3 days. I’m being weaned off of Trazadone-cold turkey, tapering off Lexapro and Remeron and then they started me on Cymbalta. I also take Methadone. This is all being done to help me as I finally found a dr who realized I’ve been on a tremendous cocktail of meds. I’m having every withdrawal symptom possible. He called to check on me (on a Saturday) and said I may be experiencing seratonin syndrome and to quit the Lexapro immediately and to give it a few more days. Has anyone else been thru this? It’s unreal. Please pray for me.

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@parus

Depression is difficult no matter where you reside. Would that light would relieve thus.

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@parus How true! Depression is a multifaceted disorder. There are so many factors involved, light, physical activity and investment in others are just ways to help with the symptoms.

Teresa

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Hello @kdo0827

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. You certainly have my prayers! I found some information regarding Serotonin Syndrome, here is the link, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/serotonin-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354758 Please read through the article, especially the symptoms. Do you recognize any of these symptoms?

As you can see by this article sometimes the symptoms do dissipate after a short period of time. Did your doctor give you any time line when you might be feeling better?

Please keep in touch. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

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Hello @elwooodsdad,

I can hear the distress through your post. I am sorry your sweet dog passed away. That is truly the loss of a significant friend in your life.

I agree with you that giving yourself permission to feel is important. I've been told myself that sometimes I don't allow myself to do that and just try and do something to immediately make myself feel happy instead of sitting in my sadness and truly feeling it for a time.

I'd like to give some information about the suicide hotline in case the feelings become overwhelming as you try to deal with the depression you've faced, along with this new grief with your dog's passing:
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
– 800-273-8255
– Facebook, http://on.fb.me/r6Jp9elwooodsdad

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@hopeful33250

Hello @kdo0827

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. You certainly have my prayers! I found some information regarding Serotonin Syndrome, here is the link, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/serotonin-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354758 Please read through the article, especially the symptoms. Do you recognize any of these symptoms?

As you can see by this article sometimes the symptoms do dissipate after a short period of time. Did your doctor give you any time line when you might be feeling better?

Please keep in touch. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Unfortunately he didn’t. He just said to stop the Lexapro tonight. I’m hoping that by getting off of several of these meds I’ll start to feel somewhat normal again. What I’m going through now is really tough. I really appreciate your prayers.

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@hopeful33250

Hello @kdo0827

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. You certainly have my prayers! I found some information regarding Serotonin Syndrome, here is the link, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/serotonin-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354758 Please read through the article, especially the symptoms. Do you recognize any of these symptoms?

As you can see by this article sometimes the symptoms do dissipate after a short period of time. Did your doctor give you any time line when you might be feeling better?

Please keep in touch. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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@kdo0827 Keep in touch. Let me know how you are doing tomorrow.

I hope you have a restful night. Is there any activity that might help you settle down?

Teresa

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