Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

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Hi Elwoodsdad I have been treating anxiety and depression for over a year. It was getting better and than I lost my young 2 1/2 old Giant Schnauzer to Disseminated Aspergillos Fungus. It literally tore me apart. That was in February of this year and my heart is literally broken. He was 95 pounds of pure love…my Heart Dog. I will never get over that. My heart just aches and i still she tears over it. So, i understand completely how loosing a dog can do this to you. I have lost other dogs through the years that have just shattered me as well.

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@charlie75 You have become a wise man! Thank you for your insights, and may God bless you always.

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@charlie75

What an honest, sincere post! Thank you for being so open and vulnerable with your Connect family. We are glad to have you in our midst.

Teresa

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@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

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@anniegk

Yes, you speak for many of us who would prefer to be drug free. However, I've learned that depression and anxiety are often caused by certain missing chemicals in the brain and the meds given to deal with depression just help to make up for those missing chemicals and thereby we feel better.

I sort of compare it to an epileptic taking anti-seizure drugs or a diabetic using insulin. You are just making up for what your body lacks. For some reason, however, mental health meds carry a certain stigma that seizure meds or insulin do not have and that is so unfortunate!

Teresa

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@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

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That is so true. It makes you feel like a person that is weak. I am trying to learn that a person that finally accepts the fact they need meds is a strong person. It takes a lot of strength and courage to say "I need help" the thing that bothers me is relying on habit forming drugs that is sometimes necessary..

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@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

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My heart goes out to you lovetoall. Praying for you to have strength, peace and a better future.

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@lisalucier

Hi, @elwooodsdad — that sounds very hard living with feeling so sad. You have all the right things in place, with a psychiatrist and medication.

You mention going through a major issue right now, and I'm sorry to hear that. I'm wondering if you would share a bit about what it looks like when you have a major episode?

@ladybugmg — with the research you shared on deficiency of acetyl-L-carnitine being associated with a particular subtype of depression, I'm wondering if this research has any particular significance for you personally?

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HI johnsonk. I know exactly what you are going through loosing your beloved dog. I unexpectedly lost my 2 1/2 year old Giant Schnauzer in February of this year. Iam still devastated by the loss. My dogs are family to me and it hurts just as bad to lose them as family.

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Thank you so very much for the kind response to my remarks. I know that power is given to us by others as good orderly direction. This helps us learn the lessons that we need in order to find serenity. All we need to do is change our mind in order to change ourselves. The truth will set everyone of us free. May health and happy times come into your lives.
Charlie75

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@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

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@hopeful33250 Well said Teresa!

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Well I saw my doctor yesterday and I let her know that I wanted to stop this medicine. I was also taking Latuda. She told me I could stop Latuda all together and she is tapering me off of the effexor. I was only taking 150 mg for about a year. She prescribed me 37.5 mg and told me to take 3 a day for 2 wks, 2 a day for 2 and then 1 till bottle is empty. Hopefully this works. I'm also dealing with problems with both of my hands. I need surgery. Getting more tests done today and hopefully getting surgery scheduled. I haven't been able to work out so that doesn't help.

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I took something similar for quite a while and my doctor had me take close to a month to taper off- no problems whatsoever. Good luck

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@lovetoall

Dearest Annie, I am so sorry you spend your time in fear. Please make sure you share all of those feelings with your doctor, and make a point of asking him about the meds and their consequences. If you can, you may wish to talk with a psychological counselor other than your physician, in order to get a different perspective and some helpful tips. This is another reason depression is so difficult when it strikes us as Seniors — it is easy for us to believe there will be no end. But do not accept that! If you attend church, spend some time with your pastor and let him help you gain some positive thoughts. If you do not attend church, get a friend or relative to introduce you to a good pastor they know. Find a hobby where you are making or designing something. One thing this will do is perk you up when you have done a good job and you are proud of the outcome. It also keeps your mind occupied and productive. I hope there is someone close to you who can listen to your circumstances and provide support. If not, look for someone — befriend a neighbor, find a group to join, do some pleasing volunteer work if you are able. You need a distraction, so that you will not dwell on your fears. You have taken a good step by writing your thoughts here, and I hope you will continue. Please know that, although we are not acquainted, I care about you. I want you to be content for the rest of your life! God bless you always.

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Hi, @kdo0827 , I want to thank you for your insight and your comments on this complicated subject. It helps me so much to know that I am not the only one who gets depressed. I am on two different medications, Cymbalta, for Depression and Fibromyalgia, and Wellbutrin, for "breakthrough" Depression." At the moment I am questioning myself if the breakthrough depression is made worse by Lyrica. Lyrica has been a lifesaver for me. I have not been taking it that long. There are situational obstacles and issues which contribute to the Depression. My husband's health is pretty fragile, and we are not able to travel like we had wanted. I am always on a diet, and so is he. We both have weight that we must get rid of. We are both horrid about exercising, even though we are members of a gym. So I guess you could say we are kind of stuck. His natural state is pretty melancholy. We used to call him Eyeore. And then there's the pain. Even with medication I always have a certain amount of pain. I like meeting everyone here in this forum, because if we all lived close to each other, I'd probably hurt too much and talk myself out of attending a meeting! Thanks again for sharing!

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I UNDERSTAND YOUR COMMENTS. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST GET OUT OF. YOU WERE RIGHT ON THE MONEY WHEN YOU SAID IT'S JUST LIKE BEING GAY, I KNOW THAT FOR SURE BECAUSE I AM GAY. { I JUST AM } I AM 68 YRS AND RETIRED WITH TOO MUCH TIME ON MY MIND. A FEW FRIENDS HAVE SUGGESTED JUST GO SOMEWHERE, GET OUT MORE, MAKE NEW FRIENDS,JOIN A GROUP. EASY TO SAY FOR MOST BUT WITH ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION I FEEL SAD, AND IT SEEMS OVERWHELMING TO TAKE ACTION. I SEE A DR FOR MEDS AND THEY ONLY HELP SO FAR. I WANT TO BE FREE AGAIN AND OUT GOING BUT IT'S JUST NOT HAPPENING. PLUS MY DOG OF 13 YEARS HEALTH IS VERY POOR HEALTH, AND I AM JUST A MESS ABOUT THAT. SOME MORNINGS I WAKE UP AND THE ANXIETY JUST BUILDS MORE & MORE. I JUST STARTED GOING TO THE NEURO COGNITIVE INSTITUTE AND GOING THROUGH TESTING. MY NEXT VISIT SHOULD PRODUCE SOME MORE WAYS THAT WILL HELP. I FEEL I NEED MORE HELP. i HAVE WORKED IN HOSPITALS FOR OVER 40 YEARS AND THE PROTOCALS ARE LONG AND SLOW. HATE IS A STRONG WORD BUT I HATE FEELING THESE WAYS.

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@lisalucier

Hi, @elwooodsdad — that sounds very hard living with feeling so sad. You have all the right things in place, with a psychiatrist and medication.

You mention going through a major issue right now, and I'm sorry to hear that. I'm wondering if you would share a bit about what it looks like when you have a major episode?

@ladybugmg — with the research you shared on deficiency of acetyl-L-carnitine being associated with a particular subtype of depression, I'm wondering if this research has any particular significance for you personally?

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SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS OF YOUR SWEET DOG. MY CURRENT DOG IS NOT DOING VERY WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER I WILL HAVE WITH HER. I FEEL SO VERY BAD LOOKING AT HER STRUGGLE TO WALK AND MOVE AROUND. I DO EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE HER COMFORTABLE. SOME YEARS AGO I LOST MY SCHAUZER, AND I WAS SICK OVER HER PASSING. I THINK A DOGS LOVE AND DEVOTION OFTEN EXCEEDS ABILITY & OUR DEALING WITH AN ANIMALS DEATH, IT HURTS SO VERY BAD !

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Hi Donny. I can feel the frustration/sadness in your words. I believe the first thing I would do is devote as much loving time as possible to your dog. Making him happy is something you will never regret, and it is certainly not a waste of time. Make it your goal for him to love every day he has…because of you. It is a shame that we cannot know in advance how meds will affect us, rather than having to try them to find out. It is so hard to tell whether our low feelings are truly and fully in our nature, or if the meds cause some of it. My next suggestion is to begin your "getting out more" days by finding a pretty place you can just go and sit, while admiring your surroundings. This can be indoors or outdoors. I don't know what is near you, but maybe you would like a beautiful park bench where nature is at its best; people-watching in a public place, like a mall or downtown area; watching some kind of sport, again in a park or other populated area; or really anywhere things area happening. It is not necessary to have a group for this, so simply take a comfortable chair, park it in the best place you find, enjoy a snack/drink if you like, and sit silently as you take in all of the beauty and activity near you. OR don't sit silently if someone should happen to stop and pass the time. You never know! Do not go with expectations of how the time will end….just let it happen. While you are there, you will have many new thoughts as you see different things going on. Your creative juices may start flowing, and suddenly you may get ideas about things you would like to learn, hobbies you might undertake, groups you might join…any number of things. Those kinds of thoughts come from OBSERVING others to learn more about yourself. So…what do you have to lose? Keep following Dr.'s orders, but get out more…and take your sweet dog with you, if he wants to go! This can be part of making him happy, too! I hope some of this helps you; it has helped me. Enjoy the fresh air, and know that God is waiting to bless you! All good wishes!!

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