Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

I’ve tried everything! The only calming thing is a fan which I have and a cool washcloth around my neck. Running a fever which is par for the course. I really appreciate your kindness.

REPLY
@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

Jump to this post

@ainsleigh Thank you, I will.

REPLY
@jimhd

@seeker70 – I totally connect with what you say, and I know it would be helpful to me to enter a conversation with you. Trouble is, I’m part way through a cold, and I’m just not up to writing or thinking. Give me a couple of days and I’ll try to remember to join in. I’ve been going through a month or so of increased depression, and being sick right now is the pits.

Jim

Jump to this post

@elwooodsdad, Hi. I posted earlier to you about my daughter. I want to apologize that I grabbed your forum to air my worries. It was selfish of me. Just want you to know that I do care that you feel so low as to let suicide cross your mind. I feel like you have good 'where-with-all' to ride out the depression. I also want to say that I send my condolencses for your loss of your beloved pet. I know that is very hard. Are you doing any better tonight?

REPLY

Thank you for writing your post-it is as if you are describing ME! It has been very frustrating for me and people around me who think I can just "shake it off" if I choose to. I too,have noticed major changes in myself as I get older (late 50's) and it is getting harder to manage getting thru a day with any enthusiasm for anything-just going thru the motions like a robot. Spoke with my GP who just wants to increase my anti-depressant -which we already tried before-with too many side effects. I tried to explain the differences I am feeling-just doesn't listen to me. I am suspecting (thru my own researching) Adult ADD which could explain why my depressive feelings are changing. My questions regarding this just get dismissed. I do not WANT to feel this way-I was feeling so alone till reading these wonderful posts from other real people feeling this way too!

REPLY

People really don’t understand depression. It’s not just a bad mood you can get out of. I get told often to get out more, go outside, find a hobby I’m interested in. The problem is I’m not interested in anything. I’ve gone from a fun loving let’s go person to I don’t want to ever go anywhere do anything person. I’m currently going through hell as they are weaning me off meds and adding a med. Dr called me yesterday and said it sounds like I have Seratonin Syndrome. It’s so terrible!!!! I feel like I have the flu, on top of crazy feelings. I’m doing all this because I’ve been given too many meds trying to fix my depression by my general dr. I feel like I should be in a hospital during this. My husband has stayed right by me. Drs should not leave you on your own to go through this.

REPLY
@hopeful33250

Hello @kdo0827

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. You certainly have my prayers! I found some information regarding Serotonin Syndrome, here is the link, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/serotonin-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354758 Please read through the article, especially the symptoms. Do you recognize any of these symptoms?

As you can see by this article sometimes the symptoms do dissipate after a short period of time. Did your doctor give you any time line when you might be feeling better?

Please keep in touch. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

Jump to this post

I had this when a new antidepressant was tried on me. It is not fun!

REPLY

Hello- I have written here before but want to put my 2 cents worth in again. I recently read on here, I think, a gal saying that we should try to live through it as if it's a learning experience. That's like my husband toughing it out when he had a bad leg infection and almost died. It is not a learning experience to be savored but one that needs attention!! It can be dangerous and affects all close people around us. It just makes me so angry when people think that time will heal all things. It doesn't damnit!! Take care anyway you can to get help. Not everyone benefits from the same treatments and time can heal very few, but it can. Your mental health is as important as your physical, they are not really separate. They go hand in hand. What affects one affects the other. I know that I've been depressed, on and off, for many many years and I am 71. It's not a way to live, and that's the goal in life, is it not?

REPLY
@kdo0827

I’m really struggling these past 3 days. I’m being weaned off of Trazadone-cold turkey, tapering off Lexapro and Remeron and then they started me on Cymbalta. I also take Methadone. This is all being done to help me as I finally found a dr who realized I’ve been on a tremendous cocktail of meds. I’m having every withdrawal symptom possible. He called to check on me (on a Saturday) and said I may be experiencing seratonin syndrome and to quit the Lexapro immediately and to give it a few more days. Has anyone else been thru this? It’s unreal. Please pray for me.

Jump to this post

@kdo0827, I really hope the Cymbalta helps you as much as it helps me. I found the morning dose (60 mg) would wear off early in the afternoon, so my PCP gave me a second Rx of 30 mg to take then. As you know, each med reacts differently for each person, but this combination really works for me. It's not 100 percent, but it does help. Good luck, and try to hang in there. @cognac

REPLY
@feelingittoo

Thank you for writing your post-it is as if you are describing ME! It has been very frustrating for me and people around me who think I can just "shake it off" if I choose to. I too,have noticed major changes in myself as I get older (late 50's) and it is getting harder to manage getting thru a day with any enthusiasm for anything-just going thru the motions like a robot. Spoke with my GP who just wants to increase my anti-depressant -which we already tried before-with too many side effects. I tried to explain the differences I am feeling-just doesn't listen to me. I am suspecting (thru my own researching) Adult ADD which could explain why my depressive feelings are changing. My questions regarding this just get dismissed. I do not WANT to feel this way-I was feeling so alone till reading these wonderful posts from other real people feeling this way too!

Jump to this post

Hi there "Feelingitto" Peach here. They do not realize how it hurts when they say "Just shake it off" or here take some more pills. They cannot get into it with the horrors that go along with depression. Some of the doctors are so overwhelmed they cannot let it get "to the heart". I think (as right or as wrong as I might be" that one must experience the depression in true life with the many years involved usually to the death of the person. There are many trillions of true stories of suffering and horror that is more than a challenge to overcome . I think some, only some can be slightly helped. If you can keep yourself very, very, very busy it helps somewhat. When my son was born with a cleft lip and palate and every thing else that goes with it. With the nineteen operations, therapies, etc., etc., for over 20 years .And no family to help me. And with three children Ouch! But, I look at it this way: I was given this child to love, nurse and be blessed for having him. Of course this increased my depression. So what. Here we are. Life is still good. I look forward to 3pm when I will consume the most delicious Hagen Daz Dark Choco;ate over chocolate ice cream bar. A few minutes of forgetting all but the delicious taste. Believe me when I say there are many, many people who do feel for you as they understand where you are in your life. Think of us as we think of you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! with love peach

REPLY
@feelingittoo

Thank you for writing your post-it is as if you are describing ME! It has been very frustrating for me and people around me who think I can just "shake it off" if I choose to. I too,have noticed major changes in myself as I get older (late 50's) and it is getting harder to manage getting thru a day with any enthusiasm for anything-just going thru the motions like a robot. Spoke with my GP who just wants to increase my anti-depressant -which we already tried before-with too many side effects. I tried to explain the differences I am feeling-just doesn't listen to me. I am suspecting (thru my own researching) Adult ADD which could explain why my depressive feelings are changing. My questions regarding this just get dismissed. I do not WANT to feel this way-I was feeling so alone till reading these wonderful posts from other real people feeling this way too!

Jump to this post

@feelingittoo, Hi there. I hear you loud and clear. I am just going to say it, mental illnesses along with ADD just really suck. I have a 30 yr old daughter with the same story as you. It breaks my heart that she has so many years ahead of her to live with this. I pray for a miracle every day that modern medicine can fix this. Sending you hugs….

REPLY
@merpreb

Hello- I have written here before but want to put my 2 cents worth in again. I recently read on here, I think, a gal saying that we should try to live through it as if it's a learning experience. That's like my husband toughing it out when he had a bad leg infection and almost died. It is not a learning experience to be savored but one that needs attention!! It can be dangerous and affects all close people around us. It just makes me so angry when people think that time will heal all things. It doesn't damnit!! Take care anyway you can to get help. Not everyone benefits from the same treatments and time can heal very few, but it can. Your mental health is as important as your physical, they are not really separate. They go hand in hand. What affects one affects the other. I know that I've been depressed, on and off, for many many years and I am 71. It's not a way to live, and that's the goal in life, is it not?

Jump to this post

@merpreb , I was in Special Education for eighteen years. One year of subbing, the rest primarily as a one on one working with many at risk children. One thing I was taught early on, is do not try to teach something new to a child who is suffering. Wait until they are much better to introduce new material. All learning can be said to be worthwhile. But the lessons I "learned" while I was in pain and depressed, are hard lessons bought with the price of joy, peace, and any semblance of happiness. I extend grace to the individuals who believe that telling me to "consider it a lesson learned" is advice well given.
Apparently their pain was not mine. Mine drove me to thoughts of desparation and worse.
I vowed if I ever made it off that sofa of constant misery I would do all I could for as many as I could. I don't want anyone to ever feel the way that I did.

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.