I dropped out for awhile

@diverdown1 I'm sorry to hear of your trauma history. I have cptsd (diagnosed years before I got covid) and I will say that my mental health has declined since I got covid 6 years ago due to depression over not being able to live and work the way I used to. Everything is a struggle. Please know that you have support here. It's amazing that you're still working on your degree. I'm still working to keep my insurance. I wish I could retire early, but that is not financially feasible. You have endured a lot, so give yourself some grace and compassion for still showing up and for pursuing a degree that will help others. I, too, am in the helping profession with a specialty in trauma-informed care, so I can relate in many ways to your struggles. Take gentle care of yourself. I've got movers coming on Friday and I'm only able to pack a couple boxes at a time. Fortunately I have an understanding spouse, but I do fear that he is going to get tired of dealing with my long covid and mental health issues. I do suspect that for those of us with trauma history and mental health issues covid certainly has exacerbated them, at least for me. I recently filled out my Johns Hopkins long covid study survey (in the hopes that research will help others someday, even though I think it's too late for me) and that always depresses me to see how in 6 years I have not improved and doubt I ever will at this point. Hang in there Sadly, there are many of us who empathize and understand the ravages of this illness.

I’m sorry you’re suffering with LC. I too suffer from Long Covid and when I say suffer, I lost my taste and smell in December of 2022 when I caught Covid and it’s still not back. I also had several other symptoms of Long Covid that have dissipated like horrible body tremors, stuttering, bad headaches, fatigue, heart palpitations and loss of taste and smell. To help with body tremors, I had 7 Stellate Ganglion Block injections over a period of time. The 7th one took my body tremors way down and I only experience them if I am stressed or anxious. I’m hoping my taste/smell will return because existing like this is quite dull. I may be leaving the Group for a while as well, it can be depressing and I have enough of that on my own!

@shmerdloff This was in one of my daily readings this morning. Thought of you.

When we are no longer able to change a situation- we are challenged to change ourselves.
~ Viktor E. Frankl

@klf58 Good luck with the move. I also moved back into my house after my partner passed. It is full of good and bad memories, however I am grateful that I have a place to live. Is the Johns Hopkins survey for anyone with long COVID or is it only for clients. I am not sure I have improved or if I have assimilated to how this feels. I know that recently my mood is shitty but I also have other major things happening in my life, I know others do as well. I freak out due to my age. I should be retiring at this point, however, now I also owe on student loans. I try to just do what I can today. My clinical field placement is aware of my health issues. I am not sure they believe it, but the students with disabilities every semester, sends ADA accommodations to my Professors and I am also transparent with my Professors. I started this journey before I got sick, and they have all been very kind with everything that has occurred. Thank you for the reply. I know moving is the worst. Hang in there.

@klf58 Good luck with the move. I also moved back into my house after my partner passed. It is full of good and bad memories, however I am grateful that I have a place to live. Is the Johns Hopkins survey for anyone with long COVID or is it only for clients. I am not sure I have improved or if I have assimilated to how this feels. I know that recently my mood is shitty but I also have other major things happening in my life, I know others do as well. I freak out due to my age. I should be retiring at this point, however, now I also owe on student loans. I try to just do what I can today. My clinical field placement is aware of my health issues. I am not sure they believe it, but the students with disabilities every semester, sends ADA accommodations to my Professors and I am also transparent with my Professors. I started this journey before I got sick, and they have all been very kind with everything that has occurred. Thank you for the reply. I know moving is the worst. Hang in there.

@shmerdloff Thank you for that. I agree with some of what you said. Happiness is not a place, or a goal or a "hey, I am now happy." It is a spectrum, a journey. moments in time. If you ascribe to Eastern thought, it is the present moment. Also, I love your question about "the Pursuit of Happiness," and as you said, everything is subjective. Some people (psychopaths) are happy killing someone. As everything is subjective, it is almost impossible to know what someone else believes except in their actions. This is one of my favorite quotes...
Flow with whatever may happen
and let your mind be free;
Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing.
This is the ultimate.

-Chuang Tsu

I do believe we are all connected on a level that is not visible and I mean everything is connected in the Universe. This gives me peace in times when I am freaking out. I also believe and want to say that there is a big difference in depression, sadness, and hopelessness, the latter being brutal. Gratitude also helps me get out of the hole. I am okay at this moment. I may not feel good, but I have shelter, food, water, a car, my 2 dogs and 2 cats and I know that things could be much worse. I also agree that EVERYTHING is on a spectrum. Black and white thinking does no good, and I fight that. I need to find the gray (thanks Grateful Dead) See what I did there? I appreciate your post. It made me smile and challenged this brain to think. Acceptance is key in situations that I am unable to control. AA taught me that gem and honestly the only absolute truth in this life is "change."

Welcome back, I too noticed that you haven’t been around for a while, I’m sorry that LC is taking such a toll on your health, it’s truly a sinister virus. I’m sure you will get back your life soon, you have the determination and brains to fight back, here’s to moving forward, amen 🙏

So happy to see you back and active on Connect @diverdown1! Hoping that your journey forward will be easier with a lot less pain.

Thank you. In L.A. Story, Steve Martin wrote, "Free your mind. Your body
will follow."
Lao and Chuang are two of my favorite Tzus.
You and I may not get to Nirvrama (as my friend used to call it) but
this is the Right Path, unless we are merely comforted by conversing with
someone who agrees with us. But then it wouldn't matter anyway.🫂