How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

And for the children: Knock, knock. . . . Banana (repeat several times) Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana again?

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@2011panc

@contentandwell Children are the best, aren't they! Once when we were on vacation we found a sticky animal that you could throw at a smooth surface and watch it ooze down. My oldest and I were having a great time with it in our lunch booth next to the window . . . embarrassing my husband at the same time. "People are watching!" He hissed. That just made us laugh harder. Of course they were! It's lovely to see people enjoying themselves.

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@2011panc I love that. My husband would have been the same!
We went through some tough times with my son in HS and college but I am so happy with the adult he is. I often say the jury was out for a long time but came back with a good verdict.
JK

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A priest, a rabbi and a Baptist minister went fishing in a small row boat. After a few hours the minister stood up, stretched and announced he was going to go to the bathroom. The rabbi groaned inside because that meant that either he would see the minister peeing over the side of the boat or they would all have to stop fishing and go to shore. But he was surprised when the minister stepped over the side of the boat, walked to shore, used the restroom and returned across the water.
After a little more time the priest stood up and repeated the minister's ritual, walking across the water to and from the shore.
The rabbi realized he needed to use the bathroom also, and rationalized that if the other two religions could walk on water, he would also be able to walk himself to shore. So he bravely stood, stretched, announced his turn and stepped over the side of the boat. He immediately sunk to the bottom of the lake and drowned.
The priest turned to the minister and said, "Do you suppose we should have told him where the stepping stones were?"

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@bobbyboomer

Well, I'm new here, so I don't have the time to go through all 15 pages. I hope hard of hearing jokes are OK, and I hope this one hasn't made it in the thread yet.

A guy goes to the ENT and gets new, state-of-the-art, hearing aids. They are a real breakthrough in technology and cost a small fortune.

He goes back to the ENT a week later to get them adjusted and the doc asks him, "How do you like them?"

The patient answers, "They're great, I can hear every word everybody says!"

So the doc continues, "I'll bet your family is excited about this too."

The patient responds, "I haven't told them yet, but I've changed my will three times."

Bob

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@bobbyboomer
Thanks for your joke, I enjoyed it. I only just now
noticed it.
Please continue to contribute, I’ve been slacking off. Glad you and @2011panc have been covering for me.
Jake

Liked by bobbyboomer

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@2011panc

A priest, a rabbi and a Baptist minister went fishing in a small row boat. After a few hours the minister stood up, stretched and announced he was going to go to the bathroom. The rabbi groaned inside because that meant that either he would see the minister peeing over the side of the boat or they would all have to stop fishing and go to shore. But he was surprised when the minister stepped over the side of the boat, walked to shore, used the restroom and returned across the water.
After a little more time the priest stood up and repeated the minister's ritual, walking across the water to and from the shore.
The rabbi realized he needed to use the bathroom also, and rationalized that if the other two religions could walk on water, he would also be able to walk himself to shore. So he bravely stood, stretched, announced his turn and stepped over the side of the boat. He immediately sunk to the bottom of the lake and drowned.
The priest turned to the minister and said, "Do you suppose we should have told him where the stepping stones were?"

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@2011panc
Thanks a lot for your jokes, winners as usual.
Always look forward to your jokes.
Jake

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I HAVE A JOKE FOR YOU. 😄
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”

The horse says, “Me neither!”

Ok, ok, but it was cute!

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Joke:
Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Ha-ha!

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@ihtak46

I HAVE A JOKE FOR YOU. 😄
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”

The horse says, “Me neither!”

Ok, ok, but it was cute!

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@ihtak46
I agree, it was cute. Thank you for contributing. Don’t be a stranger.
Jake

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@ihtak46

Joke:
Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife.
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

Ha-ha!

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@ihtak46
Thanks for that, it was funny. Please keep them coming!!!
Jake

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@jakeduck
True funny story
My dad was driving on the NY state throughway and my mom was asleep in the back seat under a blanket. He stopped at a rest stop with security to use the bathroom. Mom, in the interim, woke up and went to use the bathroom, came out and the car was gone. Apparently he never looked in the back seat.
Several miles away he sees a police car and hears sirens. He’s pulled over, officer gets out and says “Did you forget anything Arthur?” At first he wonders why the trooper knew his name, looked in the back seat and mom gets out of the police car. One of many true life stories in my slightly hilarious growing up adventures in my somewhat batty family.

Still laughing fondly
FL Mary

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@imallears

@jakeduck
True funny story
My dad was driving on the NY state throughway and my mom was asleep in the back seat under a blanket. He stopped at a rest stop with security to use the bathroom. Mom, in the interim, woke up and went to use the bathroom, came out and the car was gone. Apparently he never looked in the back seat.
Several miles away he sees a police car and hears sirens. He’s pulled over, officer gets out and says “Did you forget anything Arthur?” At first he wonders why the trooper knew his name, looked in the back seat and mom gets out of the police car. One of many true life stories in my slightly hilarious growing up adventures in my somewhat batty family.

Still laughing fondly
FL Mary

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@imallears
That’s hilarious!!!
Jake

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Thanks for all the jokes our family has a talent show and I'm doing jokes this year.

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@imallears

@jakeduck
True funny story
My dad was driving on the NY state throughway and my mom was asleep in the back seat under a blanket. He stopped at a rest stop with security to use the bathroom. Mom, in the interim, woke up and went to use the bathroom, came out and the car was gone. Apparently he never looked in the back seat.
Several miles away he sees a police car and hears sirens. He’s pulled over, officer gets out and says “Did you forget anything Arthur?” At first he wonders why the trooper knew his name, looked in the back seat and mom gets out of the police car. One of many true life stories in my slightly hilarious growing up adventures in my somewhat batty family.

Still laughing fondly
FL Mary

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Imallears, that was a great story.

Liked by Leonard

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I have a joke, well not a joke, a funny true story…….
I was 4 years old when my Dad graduated college. Of course both my Mom and I were there and as we were waiting for my Dad, I noticed him in his navy blue cap and gown. I took off running and shouted, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, grabbed him around his legs, looked up and screeched “”you’re not my Daddy””!!!

Kathi

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@ihtak46

I have a joke, well not a joke, a funny true story…….
I was 4 years old when my Dad graduated college. Of course both my Mom and I were there and as we were waiting for my Dad, I noticed him in his navy blue cap and gown. I took off running and shouted, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, grabbed him around his legs, looked up and screeched “”you’re not my Daddy””!!!

Kathi

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@ihtak46
Oops! That’s funny 😁
Jake

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