~ Depressed and scared ~

Posted by amberpep @amberpep, Tue, Feb 26 8:00am

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

I've seen physicists- take meds, exercise, read, deep breathing. Xanax for me is a curse I had to go to ER after missing 2 days. My MD NEVER warned me of side effects Shame on them They vow ' First do NO harm' Thought I was dying. Heart beating hard, high BP, sick as a dog. Gave up on psychiatrists. My problem is loss and a broken heart. I struggle each day . Wake up feeling empty My husband & grand son are GONE Its too much for me. There is a limit to what drugs and therapy can do !!!

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Doctors help many But surely NOT ALL Best of luck to you They talk & give you pills Its NOT that EZ

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HI, I'm sorry for your predicament. I'm 53 and I'm on disability. I felt like this most days, depressed because my job was gone and frustrated with lack of money.

The things I did to get my out of my funk mood over it was budget, budget, budget. Since you worked in a dental office, I'll assume you were saving into a 401k. That's what I did. I went to a financial planner, boy am I glad I did. She gave me a whole new outlook on my finances, and helped me budget for the future. I've investigated many things, and one thing I learned is that senior apartments seem to have a financial sliding scale for ability to pay. I hope your apartment is within your means to pay, but maybe a visit to a financial planner can give you a new outlook on your horizons?

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@dianrib

I've seen physicists- take meds, exercise, read, deep breathing. Xanax for me is a curse I had to go to ER after missing 2 days. My MD NEVER warned me of side effects Shame on them They vow ' First do NO harm' Thought I was dying. Heart beating hard, high BP, sick as a dog. Gave up on psychiatrists. My problem is loss and a broken heart. I struggle each day . Wake up feeling empty My husband & grand son are GONE Its too much for me. There is a limit to what drugs and therapy can do !!!

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It can be so frustrating trying to find something that will help. I’ve finally found that a combination of Cymbalta and Adderral help. I still don’t have any desire to get out and go places but some of that is related to my chronic pain. Normally after I do get out I enjoy things but it’s like pulling teeth(I was a dental practice manager) to get me out. The Adderral has made a big difference in my energy level and it makes me feel good to accomplish things during my day. You’ve certainly had a lot to deal with. Have you tried Cymbalta or Adderral?

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@smilie

Hi Lisa. I’m depressed and angry and getting worse!!!! That’s all that I’m going to say now.

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Hi @smilie, I hear you. You're depressed, angry and find it hard to get out of bed. But you wrote to us on this message board. Yay!
I agree with @kaybird. No matter how hard it is, getting up, writing to us here, doing even a small thing can help. She is so right to point out that it's okay to still feel angry, sad and unmotivated while doing it. Do you a plan for your day today – even a small thing?

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@kdo0827

It can be so frustrating trying to find something that will help. I’ve finally found that a combination of Cymbalta and Adderral help. I still don’t have any desire to get out and go places but some of that is related to my chronic pain. Normally after I do get out I enjoy things but it’s like pulling teeth(I was a dental practice manager) to get me out. The Adderral has made a big difference in my energy level and it makes me feel good to accomplish things during my day. You’ve certainly had a lot to deal with. Have you tried Cymbalta or Adderral?

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Thanks but I am done with drugs Glad they help you

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@Erinmfs

HI, I'm sorry for your predicament. I'm 53 and I'm on disability. I felt like this most days, depressed because my job was gone and frustrated with lack of money.

The things I did to get my out of my funk mood over it was budget, budget, budget. Since you worked in a dental office, I'll assume you were saving into a 401k. That's what I did. I went to a financial planner, boy am I glad I did. She gave me a whole new outlook on my finances, and helped me budget for the future. I've investigated many things, and one thing I learned is that senior apartments seem to have a financial sliding scale for ability to pay. I hope your apartment is within your means to pay, but maybe a visit to a financial planner can give you a new outlook on your horizons?

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we too had a 401 K and was promised a nice pension since my husband worked 10 hr days , walked hard floors, rose up to plant supt. But the SOB's at Continental Can closed down and took most of his hard won pension. Thats how our xcountry works now…NO safe guards for workers, just billionaires , huge corps & lobbyists. GOP end all the safe vguards we had years ago Its true Look it up. GOP busts labor unins, loves low pay, keeps min wage L>LOW but gives billions to fat cats ..How is it we have trillions to waste on war Iraq for 14 yrs Only helped Cheney & Halliburton . and war mongers . We the People do NOT fight hard enough to end- stop wars that do no good . We still have homeless vets & elders who get poor care in nursing homes . Thats IMMORAL

Liked by Erin

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I understand your need to vent sometimes it does make one feel better. But this isn't what I had in mind in regards to budgetting.

What I meant was I sat down with a professional financial planner. I put all of my bills (utility, phone, groceries) on automatic pay with my bank. I don't drive anymore, so that saves quite a bit of money on gas and insurance and car payments, and I put that money toward Uber and deliveries. So, I took my check statements and reviewed everything with a financial professional. We came up with a workable plan. I investigated senior apartments (I can't move into one yet, until I'm 55). I learned about the rules for senior living, and the financial planner went over everything with me. It was a good review exercise and I feel like now I have a plan. It's not the plan I always dreamed of, but it's a plan and I'm grateful to have made a new friend in the area, the financial planner.

Sit down, write it down, write down how much you receive from social security or other sources, then go through expenses like rent, utilities, transportation. It's was an interesting and essential exercise for me. I'm losing my eyesight and I'm not comfortable driving anylonger. I could sit and vent about it, but I don't. I understand your frustration with the economy and pensions, but we all have a similar fight that we are fighting, find gratitude for spending time with family , gratitude has been found to bring inner peace and happiness. I'm grateful that I gave up driving now, for example, I've enjoyed meeting the Uber drivers and Instacart delivery folks. They are so nice, along with my financial planner. Great people.

Another thing I did this year was that my primary care physician put me on a 'care management' type plan with Medicare , due to my disability. That means I can call my local care providers, my case managmenet nurse, a social worker, a pharmacist on the phone, when ever I need them. We have spent alot of time on the phone actually, with the input from my wonderful neurologists at mayo, to come up with a healthy living plan for me here in my area. My social worker gave me alot of wonderful information regarding housing. As I said, i'mlosing my vision, I was concerned that I couldn't care for my place here anymore, and my internist even suggested I look at assisted living. So, my social worker provided alot of information and I interviewed senior living apartments. Here is an outline of how senior living works. I'd recommend talking to your local pcp to see if your disability qualifies you for this Medicare case management like I have, its wonderful and essential.

https://www.seniorliving.org/hud-senior-housing-programs/

I think this is the plan I have with Medicare, my doctor calls it something different. I have Aetna for insurance. https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/chronic-care-management-services

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so sorry lack of money along with Aging can be so hard Especially when you miss where you used to live Any chance on moving back Best of luck

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@smilie

Hi. I’m very depressed! I’m still in bed and I don’t want to get up!!!!

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@smilies How was your day today? Did you get up and make a cup of tea or coffee? Perhaps water a few plants? Remember they need care, no matter how low you feel! Did you get outside to feel the sun on your face? Didn't it feel nice? Please let us know how you are doing? We care.
Ginger

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@smilie

Hi. I’m very depressed! I’m still in bed and I don’t want to get up!!!!

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I can understand that When my hubby died, then daughter had a stroke , my once sweet grand child became mentall ill My world fell apart . Just take one day at a time You are NOT alone. My dogs help me……They show love and expect nothing but Love and food.

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@colleenyoung

Hi @smilie, I hear you. You're depressed, angry and find it hard to get out of bed. But you wrote to us on this message board. Yay!
I agree with @kaybird. No matter how hard it is, getting up, writing to us here, doing even a small thing can help. She is so right to point out that it's okay to still feel angry, sad and unmotivated while doing it. Do you a plan for your day today – even a small thing?

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Never give up You are worthy

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@dianrib

Never give up You are worthy

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Hi and thank you for your support!

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@dianrib

I can understand that When my hubby died, then daughter had a stroke , my once sweet grand child became mentall ill My world fell apart . Just take one day at a time You are NOT alone. My dogs help me……They show love and expect nothing but Love and food.

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Hi, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Big hugs and prayers.

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@gingerw

@smilies How was your day today? Did you get up and make a cup of tea or coffee? Perhaps water a few plants? Remember they need care, no matter how low you feel! Did you get outside to feel the sun on your face? Didn't it feel nice? Please let us know how you are doing? We care.
Ginger

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Hi. It took me a long time to get going but I got up and out of the house. Right now I’m in bed and not ready to get up. It’s 8:12 am in Toronto.

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