~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by .harp player @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I’m 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I’m just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don’t have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there’s not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there’s enough), and my son sends me money each month. I’m sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I’m thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I’d have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they’re all on line now), and legally they’re not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I’m so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

@amberpep

Just found out our rent is going up next month quite a substantial amount. There's going to be a lot of people fleeing, probably in the middle of the night, so no one will know at the office – then they'll never be heard from again. I think a large part of my distress is the up and down of this bipolar 2. I take Lamictal, but between that and my knee replacement, I can have problems with balance. I've fallen several times, so I got one of those Greatcall things to wear around my neck …. ugly thick black cord. So, I took that off and have it on a sort of heavy silver chain and when I'm out, it is UNDER my shirt, rather than on top of it. And, my BP runs about 90/60 in the AM, rarely going beyond 110 during the day. That contributes to all this too. All in all, it was a mistake to move down here ….. I guess a big piece is my X is a real thorn in my side. Just having him that closeby gauls me. I wish I'd have known that before making the move.
abby

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@amberpep – when you are having symptoms that are distressing and you think are part of the ups and downs of bipolar 2, you might post about that in particular in this Connect thread on that topic https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/bi-polar-issues.

That is frustrating about the large rent increase. Are you planning to stay?

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@lisalucier

@amberpep – when you are having symptoms that are distressing and you think are part of the ups and downs of bipolar 2, you might post about that in particular in this Connect thread on that topic https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/bi-polar-issues.

That is frustrating about the large rent increase. Are you planning to stay?

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@lisalucier The rent increases are everywhere. Many of these lower income housing communities are older and due to repairs needed this is taking place. It is the same even if one lives in a condo or owns their own home. It is frustrating. I have always been frugal and it is still a challenge. I can say the apartment complex I live in does keep up with maintenance and repairs in a timely fashion. Anyone vanishing in the night thinking they will be getting into another apartment complex easily may have a surprise coming. It becomes a part of their history. It does happen. These folks may think they are being clever. Most renters ask for references. They won't get a way with it continually.
I do agree it is frustrating. It is an adjustment for nearly everyone. We cannot beat the system. We can only do our best to work with it. Not always easy.

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I saw my Psychiatrist last week and he upped my Lamictal to 150 mg. I'm glad, but I've come to the conclusion that with this Bipolar 2, it's just something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Mine is heavy on the depression and the manic side is just "flat" ….. rarely about "up."
And, I've come to the decision that except for special events like Christmas, and my grandchildren's birthday, I'm not going to go to any other family functions. It's just plain stupid to go to them and have to watch "the man" put on his wonderful act. Both my Psychiatrist and Psychologist have told me repeatedly that it was not good for me to have moved down here, so close to my X. Well, now what am I to do about it? I'm here and I'll have to stay here. With my S.S. being what it is, I just make it to the end of the month, so moving again is out of the question, plus my girls would really hate it …. I'm blessed that they really enjoy being with me. So, I'll plug along, and just figure that this is where I'm supposed to be ….. I just wish I'd have known how closely he lived. I was thinking maybe 30-40 miles, not 15!
abby

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@amberpep

I saw my Psychiatrist last week and he upped my Lamictal to 150 mg. I'm glad, but I've come to the conclusion that with this Bipolar 2, it's just something I'm going to have to learn to live with. Mine is heavy on the depression and the manic side is just "flat" ….. rarely about "up."
And, I've come to the decision that except for special events like Christmas, and my grandchildren's birthday, I'm not going to go to any other family functions. It's just plain stupid to go to them and have to watch "the man" put on his wonderful act. Both my Psychiatrist and Psychologist have told me repeatedly that it was not good for me to have moved down here, so close to my X. Well, now what am I to do about it? I'm here and I'll have to stay here. With my S.S. being what it is, I just make it to the end of the month, so moving again is out of the question, plus my girls would really hate it …. I'm blessed that they really enjoy being with me. So, I'll plug along, and just figure that this is where I'm supposed to be ….. I just wish I'd have known how closely he lived. I was thinking maybe 30-40 miles, not 15!
abby

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Hi, @amberpep – thinking of you. Just wanted to check in and see how it's going with the increased dose of lamotrigine (Lamictal) your psychiatrist prescribed?

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Hello – Some of you have gotten to know @becsbuddy in this thread and elsewhere on Connect, so thought you'd like to know that this week's member spotlight highlights her.You'll read about what brought her to Connect and why she feels comfortable to share in the community, her art quilts and love of the outdoors. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/newsfeed-post/great-opportunities-are-heavy-burdens-meet-becsbuddy/

Please take a look and make a comment.

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Hi. I’m very depressed! I’m still in bed and I don’t want to get up!!!!

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@lisalucier

Hello – Some of you have gotten to know @becsbuddy in this thread and elsewhere on Connect, so thought you'd like to know that this week's member spotlight highlights her.You'll read about what brought her to Connect and why she feels comfortable to share in the community, her art quilts and love of the outdoors. https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/newsfeed-post/great-opportunities-are-heavy-burdens-meet-becsbuddy/

Please take a look and make a comment.

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Hi Lisa. I’m depressed and angry and getting worse!!!! That’s all that I’m going to say now.

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@smilie

Hi. I’m very depressed! I’m still in bed and I don’t want to get up!!!!

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It’s hard but get out of bed. Walk around your house, apartment, condo, wherever you are. It’s ok to still feel angry, sad, unmotivated while doing so, but just getting up will help the depression from getting worse. As soon as you can, go see a doctor.

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I've seen physicists- take meds, exercise, read, deep breathing. Xanax for me is a curse I had to go to ER after missing 2 days. My MD NEVER warned me of side effects Shame on them They vow ' First do NO harm' Thought I was dying. Heart beating hard, high BP, sick as a dog. Gave up on psychiatrists. My problem is loss and a broken heart. I struggle each day . Wake up feeling empty My husband & grand son are GONE Its too much for me. There is a limit to what drugs and therapy can do !!!

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Doctors help many But surely NOT ALL Best of luck to you They talk & give you pills Its NOT that EZ

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HI, I'm sorry for your predicament. I'm 53 and I'm on disability. I felt like this most days, depressed because my job was gone and frustrated with lack of money.

The things I did to get my out of my funk mood over it was budget, budget, budget. Since you worked in a dental office, I'll assume you were saving into a 401k. That's what I did. I went to a financial planner, boy am I glad I did. She gave me a whole new outlook on my finances, and helped me budget for the future. I've investigated many things, and one thing I learned is that senior apartments seem to have a financial sliding scale for ability to pay. I hope your apartment is within your means to pay, but maybe a visit to a financial planner can give you a new outlook on your horizons?

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@dianrib

I've seen physicists- take meds, exercise, read, deep breathing. Xanax for me is a curse I had to go to ER after missing 2 days. My MD NEVER warned me of side effects Shame on them They vow ' First do NO harm' Thought I was dying. Heart beating hard, high BP, sick as a dog. Gave up on psychiatrists. My problem is loss and a broken heart. I struggle each day . Wake up feeling empty My husband & grand son are GONE Its too much for me. There is a limit to what drugs and therapy can do !!!

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It can be so frustrating trying to find something that will help. I’ve finally found that a combination of Cymbalta and Adderral help. I still don’t have any desire to get out and go places but some of that is related to my chronic pain. Normally after I do get out I enjoy things but it’s like pulling teeth(I was a dental practice manager) to get me out. The Adderral has made a big difference in my energy level and it makes me feel good to accomplish things during my day. You’ve certainly had a lot to deal with. Have you tried Cymbalta or Adderral?

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