~ Depressed and scared ~

Posted by amberpep @amberpep, Tue, Feb 26 8:00am

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

Thats senior abuse REPOPT him Now

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@dianrib

Thats senior abuse REPOPT him Now

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He’ older than me by nine years, married to one of my sisters and they are living overseas.

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He has never physically hit me, just he has a big ugly mouth and he verbally and emotionally and psychologically and monetarily abusing me.

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@smilie

He has never physically hit me, just he has a big ugly mouth and he verbally and emotionally and psychologically and monetarily abusing me.

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@smilie Is your sister aware of his treatment of you? Have you ever talked to her about how you feel? Do you feel as if you say something he will take it out on her instead? This may be the time that you need to distance yourself lovingly, and explain to your sister why you need to do this, for your own mental and emotional health. While that may seem pretty drastic, you have to put yourself first. I'm not sure how he has financially abused you as they live overseas, but that is also something that you would have to deal with.
Ginger

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That was sent in error. I am sorry

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If it was to me, it's ok!

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@smilie

He has never physically hit me, just he has a big ugly mouth and he verbally and emotionally and psychologically and monetarily abusing me.

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Hi, @smilie – That sounds like a very hard situation for you with feeling as though he is verbally/emotionally/psychologically and monetarily abusing you.

I wanted to suggest one resource that may be helpful to you to contact for some guidance https://www.thehotline.org/.

According to this site, this is the definition of domestic violence/abuse, which is broader than some may think of it: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

"Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship."

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@lisalucier

Hi, @smilie – That sounds like a very hard situation for you with feeling as though he is verbally/emotionally/psychologically and monetarily abusing you.

I wanted to suggest one resource that may be helpful to you to contact for some guidance https://www.thehotline.org/.

According to this site, this is the definition of domestic violence/abuse, which is broader than some may think of it: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

"Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship."

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I know about this type of abuse, I was married twice and I was verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused and this is my brother in law, so he makes number three.

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@smilie

I know about this type of abuse, I was married twice and I was verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abused and this is my brother in law, so he makes number three.

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@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were to talk to him, would he laugh it off, or sincerely make an effort to change? What does your sister say about it? It looks like you are also posting on other discussions in the Depression and Anxiety group. What would you like to see happen, what are you willing to do to have the abuse stop? We care here, and would like to see your situation improve. Is there a local group you can contact for some resolutions, also?
Ginger

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@gingerw

@smilie Is your brother-in-law aware of how his interactions are perceived by you? If you were to talk to him, would he laugh it off, or sincerely make an effort to change? What does your sister say about it? It looks like you are also posting on other discussions in the Depression and Anxiety group. What would you like to see happen, what are you willing to do to have the abuse stop? We care here, and would like to see your situation improve. Is there a local group you can contact for some resolutions, also?
Ginger

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I told him that he is being mean to me and he turns it around on me, actually I tell him that he is abusing me. I have to go for a minute.

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@smilie

I told him that he is being mean to me and he turns it around on me, actually I tell him that he is abusing me. I have to go for a minute.

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I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting and buying mutual funds.

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I forgot, there’s my sister too.

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@smilie

I’m back. Why I feel so stuck is that he helps me with my finances, budgeting and buying mutual funds.

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@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger

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@gingerw

@smilie Like you, I was in an abusive relationship, and like you, there was no physical violence, but the scars from emotional and mental abuse are hidden and seem much deeper. I had to make the decision that although this person helped contribute to a lifestyle I wanted to live, my own self-worth was more critical. I had started to believe what I was told, even if a deep part of me knew it wasn't true. I knew it would be tough to be on my own, but I did, with little resources. I reached out for counseling to help me understand the cycles of abuse. I asked for help at a local center for financial guidance. In the meantime, I lost connection with my family and friends because they couldn't see the abuse. Was it hard? You bet! But I am stronger for it all these years later, and I don't regret making a stand and saying "no more", even going through the days of loneliness to recapture myself. I sincerely hope you will think about what I have shared here, and think about what you have to do to make things better for yourself. By the way, this is the first time I have said so much about my background, your story has meant that much to me.
Ginger

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I was married twice, how stupid, and they were both abusive. I discovered that they had some similar characteristics.

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I married at 16 Bad idea Found my true love when I was 20 Howard Great guy Gone miss him so much RIP 2010

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