~ Depressed and scared ~

Posted by amberpep @amberpep, Tue, Feb 26 8:00am

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

Sorry for grumbling.
abby

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@crissdawn

Check out some inspirational stuff..one of my favorite people to listen to to help my mood is Neil Pasricha. He is a 'real life guy' with a Harvard MBA who goes around talking about the best self help books, and how books can really help. I also listen to his podcasts which often have very inspirational messages as to why we get so down on ourselves and how it tends to be a cycle. The podcast is called 3books. He also fell into a depression and started a blog called 1000 awesome things. His work has helped me tremendously and I hope it helps you also! I unfortunately cannot include the links but check it out!

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This is a good idea, @crissdawn
Often on YouTube, you can find inspirational talks at no cost.

Liked by Parus, dianrib

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Hubby & I worked .saved,,, did well for years, them his work cut his pension. He died , my daughter had a stroke, grandson has mental problems . Spent lots on them and living, medical, RX NO frills. NO vacations. I have CAD + diabetes, Much stress & worry . US says its a Christian country…but our gov't does not behave as such. Trump is a disgrace . GOP has tried to cut our hard earned SS / medicare . How about we cut their wages, perks, great pensions, and bribes aka corruption. GOP has NO family values. All the do is CUT funds for safety programs, education, Clean air & water, They are greedy suckers. We even have homeless vets Thats immoral !! I am 75 and have watched US go downhill . Trump even cut meals on wheels, FDA There is no big emergency at the border Just forks fleeing death & starvation . Trump is not self made His daddy gave him millions and he went bankrupt many times. leaving workers unpaid. US could stop illegals by charging those who hire them a Giant FEE & enforcing it. . Fact is US gov't & greedy Corps love that cheap slave labor. Reagan even passed Open borders in 80's so his fat cats could make billions off cheap labor. Gov't is complicit. The enemy is not foreign workers Its our US gov't GREED. !!! Ignorance is NOT bliss.

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O gosh, how are you making it? That's awful. The woman from MedExpress never called me back despite 4 calls to her. I'm now filling out an application for WalMart … I know they're hiring. The setup for seniors, unless you've saved and saved, is bleak, for sure. I've seen pictures of SanFran. of homeless people in little homemade tents along buildings …. some of which are our Vets. That's a disgrace. I found out that VA has one of the lowest minimum wage … it's $7.15 …. some states are as high as $15.00. And Vermont actually pays people to move there – $10,000 ….. I guess it's no wonder with their winters. For me, a lot of it is age …. everything sound "oh so good" until they find out how old I am. No age discrimination? Phooey!
abby

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Hi all ….. just an update of "nothing." …… I've given up. I'm done looking and trying and filling out those myriad of applications on line that are all the same … I don't know why they can't keep that information from one and just fill in the next. I've kept a few doctors in the city in which I lived in MD so I do get to go up once a month. I live in a low-income apartment complex and WOW, the things that go on is amazing. If nothing else, I'm getting a whole new education. So, as is often said, "it is what it is."
abby

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@amberpep I’m so sorry for all you’re going through, it sure sounds difficult. Have you checked into Meals on Wheels in your area? They usually have a sliding scale. And maybe google employment for seniors. And check into your towns Council on Aging. They have counselors who can give help on lots of things. Have you spoken with your daughters who wanted you to move to VA? Maybe they can help. I really worry when you say “I’ve given up.” There are people who can advise and assist you. Find your local senior center—they usually have lots of resources. Please try and keep us informed. Becky

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FYI Trump has CUT meals on wheels , education, FDA EPA SS & Medicare by billions .

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so sorry Millions are suffering Not on the news. Trump GOP have cut many things that help people,, clean air & water, affordable education..our kids future counts on that. Middle class is going away Wages in real dollars are down Vote 2020

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@amberpep

Hi all ….. just an update of "nothing." …… I've given up. I'm done looking and trying and filling out those myriad of applications on line that are all the same … I don't know why they can't keep that information from one and just fill in the next. I've kept a few doctors in the city in which I lived in MD so I do get to go up once a month. I live in a low-income apartment complex and WOW, the things that go on is amazing. If nothing else, I'm getting a whole new education. So, as is often said, "it is what it is."
abby

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@amberpep Now is NOT the time to be bashing Trump! This woman needs our help! Do you have any recent medical visits coming up? You can mention your need of a social worker. Your doctor and staff can help. Or you can continue to bug the heck Out of social services! I’ve done that. Most have a wealth of info about programs you can be a part of. I’ve gotten numbers of apt managers for apts that won’t be built for a year! There has GOT to be a way in – and you will find it! I’m praying for you…..Karen

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@amberpep

Hi all ….. just an update of "nothing." …… I've given up. I'm done looking and trying and filling out those myriad of applications on line that are all the same … I don't know why they can't keep that information from one and just fill in the next. I've kept a few doctors in the city in which I lived in MD so I do get to go up once a month. I live in a low-income apartment complex and WOW, the things that go on is amazing. If nothing else, I'm getting a whole new education. So, as is often said, "it is what it is."
abby

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@amberpep hi Abby, I know a little of how you feel. My brother lost his job, and is working part time. I lived in a low income apt complex, across the hall from a drug dealer, who had just gotten out of federal prison for armed robbery. I saw him dealing. I saw prostitution and the cops were at our apts often. I stayed in the apt most of the time. I was like a fish out of water. I think I understand a tiny bit of what you feel. PLEASE don’t give up! Can you write me everyday? You can write privately if you want. But commit to communicating with someone everyday? Please do it!………..Karen

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@amberpep

Hi all ….. just an update of "nothing." …… I've given up. I'm done looking and trying and filling out those myriad of applications on line that are all the same … I don't know why they can't keep that information from one and just fill in the next. I've kept a few doctors in the city in which I lived in MD so I do get to go up once a month. I live in a low-income apartment complex and WOW, the things that go on is amazing. If nothing else, I'm getting a whole new education. So, as is often said, "it is what it is."
abby

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Hi @amberpep – just wanted to check in and see how it's going?

Liked by dianrib

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@lisalucier

Hi @amberpep – just wanted to check in and see how it's going?

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Thanks to all We are hanging in Doing what we can Life can be tough But I had 46 wonderful yrs with my sweet hubby .

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@amberpep

Hi everyone. Some of you know that about 3-4 years ago I moved from one state to another – about 4 hours away – to be closer to my daughters and their families. I was happy up there, I had my own condo, doctors, friends, church, and knew the town like the back of my hand. After 5 years of hounding me, I finally relented and moved down here ….. a big mistake. I see my girls once a week – I know I can't expect more as they have their own lives – live in a low-income apartment complex for reasons I won't go into now, and to say I hate living here. I've tried to find a job – for over 2 months, but at age 75 – well, as much as they say "you can't discriminate due to age", that's a lie. They can and they do. I'm healthy and enjoy working – part time would be best. I've been told to "volunteer" ….. this is going to sound awful, but if I'm going to work, I want to get paid for it. Money is extremely tight, and I am just making it, with a very tight budget. My girls are delighted I'm here, but I'm not. They know I'm sorry I moved, but speak about it not at all. They're not approachable about it …. they're just happy I'm here. I just cannot see myself living out the rest of my days living like this. The complex I'm .in has the typical low income problems ….. young girls being handcuffed and hauled off by the police, a known "drug building", totally disrespectful and foul mouthed kids – and I do mean kids …. some as young as 7 or 8, and some oddities which I won't go into. I never go out after dark – EVER. It's just not safe. So, I'm stuck. Due to money issues, there's no way I can move back to where I was (I lived there for 30 years), and to top it off my X-husband has a huge house only 15 miles down the road from me. I've been told I can reopen our case to receive alimony, but I know it would fracture my relationship with my 3 kids and I just can't do that. I did not ask for alimony when we divorced as I had a good bit of money, but then unknown to me, got caught up in a ponzi scheme which took over 3/4 of what I had. Truthfully, I just wish my time were up. This would be over, and as an Orthodox Christian, I believe I'd be in a better place. I see my therapist – in my old city – once a month ….. but you don't get much done in 50 min. a month.
Thanks for listening to an old lady gripe.
abby

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I am sorry that happiness continues to elude you @amberpep. While you say you don't want to volunteer, might it still be a good idea? Or at least worth a try?

Bringing a little cheer into someone else's life can have a positive effect on your own mood. Could you consider calling a nearby church or nursing home to see about making some visits on shut-ins? Your public library might have a need for someone to read to children.

Just give it some thought, will you? It might help to get your mind off of you own unhappiness for even one hour a week.

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@amberpep

Hi everyone. Some of you know that about 3-4 years ago I moved from one state to another – about 4 hours away – to be closer to my daughters and their families. I was happy up there, I had my own condo, doctors, friends, church, and knew the town like the back of my hand. After 5 years of hounding me, I finally relented and moved down here ….. a big mistake. I see my girls once a week – I know I can't expect more as they have their own lives – live in a low-income apartment complex for reasons I won't go into now, and to say I hate living here. I've tried to find a job – for over 2 months, but at age 75 – well, as much as they say "you can't discriminate due to age", that's a lie. They can and they do. I'm healthy and enjoy working – part time would be best. I've been told to "volunteer" ….. this is going to sound awful, but if I'm going to work, I want to get paid for it. Money is extremely tight, and I am just making it, with a very tight budget. My girls are delighted I'm here, but I'm not. They know I'm sorry I moved, but speak about it not at all. They're not approachable about it …. they're just happy I'm here. I just cannot see myself living out the rest of my days living like this. The complex I'm .in has the typical low income problems ….. young girls being handcuffed and hauled off by the police, a known "drug building", totally disrespectful and foul mouthed kids – and I do mean kids …. some as young as 7 or 8, and some oddities which I won't go into. I never go out after dark – EVER. It's just not safe. So, I'm stuck. Due to money issues, there's no way I can move back to where I was (I lived there for 30 years), and to top it off my X-husband has a huge house only 15 miles down the road from me. I've been told I can reopen our case to receive alimony, but I know it would fracture my relationship with my 3 kids and I just can't do that. I did not ask for alimony when we divorced as I had a good bit of money, but then unknown to me, got caught up in a ponzi scheme which took over 3/4 of what I had. Truthfully, I just wish my time were up. This would be over, and as an Orthodox Christian, I believe I'd be in a better place. I see my therapist – in my old city – once a month ….. but you don't get much done in 50 min. a month.
Thanks for listening to an old lady gripe.
abby

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Thanks Teresa …. I really need to find a job. Just today I got a nibble about a possible job at Chick-fil-a, at least til they find out how old I am. The .Bipolar 2 doesn't help either …. every day is different. Some days I have energy and get things done around here, and other days I don't want to get out of bed. I take meds. and see my Psychiatrist, who is excellent, but it's just something I have to learn to live with. I also drive back to see my therapist once a month, which is where I used to live.
abby

REPLY
@amberpep

Hi everyone. Some of you know that about 3-4 years ago I moved from one state to another – about 4 hours away – to be closer to my daughters and their families. I was happy up there, I had my own condo, doctors, friends, church, and knew the town like the back of my hand. After 5 years of hounding me, I finally relented and moved down here ….. a big mistake. I see my girls once a week – I know I can't expect more as they have their own lives – live in a low-income apartment complex for reasons I won't go into now, and to say I hate living here. I've tried to find a job – for over 2 months, but at age 75 – well, as much as they say "you can't discriminate due to age", that's a lie. They can and they do. I'm healthy and enjoy working – part time would be best. I've been told to "volunteer" ….. this is going to sound awful, but if I'm going to work, I want to get paid for it. Money is extremely tight, and I am just making it, with a very tight budget. My girls are delighted I'm here, but I'm not. They know I'm sorry I moved, but speak about it not at all. They're not approachable about it …. they're just happy I'm here. I just cannot see myself living out the rest of my days living like this. The complex I'm .in has the typical low income problems ….. young girls being handcuffed and hauled off by the police, a known "drug building", totally disrespectful and foul mouthed kids – and I do mean kids …. some as young as 7 or 8, and some oddities which I won't go into. I never go out after dark – EVER. It's just not safe. So, I'm stuck. Due to money issues, there's no way I can move back to where I was (I lived there for 30 years), and to top it off my X-husband has a huge house only 15 miles down the road from me. I've been told I can reopen our case to receive alimony, but I know it would fracture my relationship with my 3 kids and I just can't do that. I did not ask for alimony when we divorced as I had a good bit of money, but then unknown to me, got caught up in a ponzi scheme which took over 3/4 of what I had. Truthfully, I just wish my time were up. This would be over, and as an Orthodox Christian, I believe I'd be in a better place. I see my therapist – in my old city – once a month ….. but you don't get much done in 50 min. a month.
Thanks for listening to an old lady gripe.
abby

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@amberpep

I feel bad for you that you keep going over the same unhappy thinking.

Until a paying job opens up might you at least consider some volunteer work? Getting out of the house and thinking about other people tends to be very helpful for all of us.

Will you try your best not to dismiss the idea of volunteering?

Perhaps make a list of places where you could enjoy spending some volunteer time. Sometimes just making a list can be a good thing, even if you choose not to act on it right away.

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