Caring for the Elderly

Your work is very important Piglit! I know you're making a difference.
Hugs,
Rox

thanks Rox

Please my dear friends be aware that if you are caring for someone within your home enviornment that there are programs in place to offer you assistance to help you to care for the person that you are looking after. These programs of assistance are put into place for a reason. So that the family do not suffer burnout themsleves. Please enquire with your dr or local community to see what programs suit and help you. Take care Annie

First, thank you for being out there and aiding those that have questions. My mom was recently given Seroquel for Alzheimer's. I, of course, googled it. lol See so many sites that say good and so many that say bad. What's the real truth? Thank you so much.

Hi Queenbotz thanks for the question. As I'm not a trained in the medication side of things I can only administer, I'm not sure about the answer to your question. Your mum;s dr will be able to give you the answers that you need in regards to her medication Take care Sorry that I couldn;t be of further assistance, Please let me know how you get along Annie

Dealing with my mom - I feel like I'm sometimes losing it. She was diagnosed with leukemia 2 yrs ago at age 83. She was very active and very together. Started chemo and memory loss started. She has since had two minor strokes but in the past 2 mos, her memory has gotten progressively worse. We have taken her car keys away because she shouldn't drive and can't see herself why she can't. She can't remember what she ate for lunch 10 mins after she ate it but "never had an accident" so can't understand why she can't drive. Her whole focus now is on - where are her keys, or why do I have them, or yelling at me to bring them back. Her life has become miserable for her and me because she focuses on the keys. How do you get someone who shouldn't drive to give it up!??!?!?! Talk and explain but SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER THE CONVERSATION 10 MINUTES LATER and we start all over again! Any suggestions...

Hi hrachief. So sorry that you are having these worries with your Mum. With the memory loss it obviously started as you mentioned with the chemo, this can often occur with older people who become unwell. Try to keep things in a routine with your Mum breakfast, lunch dinner bedtime etc they work well to this. With the repeating as with the keys this is quite normal, try to distract change the subject when she mentions them. I also would be looking into getting carers to assist you with her needs , Sometimes group activity may help her too see if their are any groups within your area, It is also normal for the person to yell at family generally the direct family carer which is you. Alot of this also comes from frustration on your Mum's behalf and try not to take this to heart, . My thoughts are with you please look into the help as burn out with you is starting to happen which is only natural with the pressure that is on you, it is very tiring emotionally and physically. Take care always here anytime if you just need to talk Annie

My husb, 79, was diagnosed with early dementia about 1 1/2 yrs ago. It has progressed, slowly. Some days are better than others. He also suffers with myleodysplasia, COPD, heart disease, type 2 diabetes and obseity. More recently he had colon cancer which through surgery seems eradicated. His right eye vision is nominal. I do not allow him to drive--a "sore point" between us until I told him, "OK. You can drive to --- and back, but I am NOT going with you because I fear for my life." Interestingly, he decided not to drive there...and his second request to drive also brought the same result. My biggest concern now is that he does SO LITTLE! He sits and watches TV, eats, and sleeps. I realize that the leukemia makes him sleepy, but his blood work is holding its own now, and the doc said that this is good. I try to get my husb to get out and go for a drive with me, or to walk a little further in the house, insisting he "get his own" food, etc. He is clever enough to wait until I stand up, and then asks if I couldn't "bring me back a cup of coffee," or whatever. This is wearing me out!! He used to share tasks, even simple things like doing the dishes one night a week....can I do anything about this??

Hi with the dementia it can progress slowly, but with your husband he unfortuantely has alot of health problems to deal with as well which just adds to the situtation. It is good that he doesn't want to drive as this would be such a great high risk. I would take the keys just in case he has the urge to go. With the dementia side of things it can be quite common for people to just sit watch tv etc, lack of interest in things so often happens. If you can try to make him keep his independence as much as you can, if he is waiting for you to do things that he is capable of try to stop doing some of them. You can acheive this by leaving his food and drink and leaving the room, he will then have to help himself. It may sound a little harsh but it does work if not then assist. In regards to him not leaving the house try to think of things that used to be of interest to him. This may help. You may also be able to get help re cleaning etc to take the pressure of you ask your G.P about this. Keeping things in a routine will also help with his dementia. Having meals at the same timeetc. It is also important and I know how hard this can be, but keep patient and calm around him. When people have dementia this is important but please realize that with the other medical problems that he has that at times it can increase the dementia. May I ask if you have any family support because you also have to have time out for you. It is so very common and I have seen so many family carers as you are suffer from burnout with the amount that you do. It's a 24/7 situation for you so please make sure that you think of you too. Another thing to maybe look into would be a support group, In these groups they can be of assistance to you as well. They may have further suggestions as to how to help you. Please take care and let me know how things go for you. Always here anytime if you need me Annie

Thank you so much for your thoughtful & helpful reply. Sometimes I do l
ose patience, with him & myself. I' d imagine some other activity for myself would help me keep things in perspective. Support groups are hard to find in my area, but this site will help. Thanks again.