How about a laugh, (hopefully)

@johnbishop
I don't think you’re slow John. I doubt a group ever said jokes couldn’t exceed fourth grade level for you to understand like happened to me. Never admit you don't get a joke and you'll be safe.
Jake

it's the chemo brain.
oh that's right, i am not on chemo.
it's just my brain that couldn't get it.
clever.

what do you get from a pampered cow?
spoiled milk

Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
I'm pine-ing for you this Christmas.
Fir real...have a merry Christmas.
All you needle is love.

I have a friend who keeps exotic birds as pets.

Instead of keeping them caged, he gives them freedom within his house.

One evening, he had set up a chess board, in anticipation of a friend coming over the next day.

The next morning, he noticed a piece had been moved overnight!

He was totally mystified, until he thought about it for a minute and realized...

Toucan play at that game.

Updating my friends here, hope someone can tell Ginger and Rosemary A if they don't see it here. And my apologies for inserting something here that isn't the least bit funny but I can use your support. Just got home last night after 8 days in a medical center in a nearby town following a freak accident where a supposedly working automatic door closed on me in my wheelchair, hit the controller arm and pressed the accelerator toggle on the chair to send the power chair flying across the sidewalk (with me in it) and slammed me into a metal post. For the sake of preventing anyone from being queasy, let me just say that as a retired nurse the injury to my leg would make you sick to look at it - quite an avulsion, took away skin and adipose tissue and muscle clear to the bone. Property owner's insurance company has offered an insulting settlement, especially since I will need weeks of wound care and eventually surgery or surgeries. Meanwhile I cannot pay for my medical care and am struggling to survive at home because I cannot go to a nursing home. So am asking for good vibes. Thanks.

This one has stuck with me for decades, giving me belly curls, the first time I read was in the Readers Digest. So likely many might know it.

The mother took her sixteen year old daughter -- raised with rigid norms about sex and marriage -- to the local doctor to find out why she was feeling out of sorts. Doctor tells them the girl is pregnant. As the mother gives her questioning eyes, the daughter says, "Mom, you know I've nothing to do with the boys." They both look at the doctor, who slowly walks toward a window and stares into the sky. Minutes pass when the mother finally ask, "What are you looking for, doctor?" The doctor says I am looking for a star; for the last time a woman got pregnant without a man, a star had appeared in the East.

Why can't you go to a nursing home?

Oh Kamama, so sorry to hear! With all the good vibes that you have sent out here, you deserve some good karma back at you. Sending you my best vibes and wishes!
Keep us posted.

Complicated reasons, mostly financial and inadequate insurance plus several chronic illnesses including dietary issues nursing homes can't handle well. I will lose everything (what little social security income I now have) and one awful biggie is I will lose my service dog. Because of my injury, I can't handle several things right now, including his care, and the ADA laws clearly state the dog must be under control by the disabled person or a service dog handler. No family available to help and friends have no transportation as most are also disabled. There's more but I'd rather not go into detail. I just need good vibes.