OCD and Major Depression

@mariajean03 It is good you feel that you can keep yourself safe. It sounds like your childhood and marriage have been extremely difficult. It's important that we all have a support system and it sounds like you do not. It makes sense you feel trapped and alone. It must be hard to have financial and medical concerns piled on top of everything else.

Urgent care's job is only to stabilize you and refer you on. You probably need more long-term and holistic services. I believe with your medical and mental health (trauma) history that you would likely qualify for a county worker or hospital social worker. Many people are unaware that these types of services are available to them. In these sorts of cases with your challenges, it's important to explore and connect with any formal resource available. What do you know about these types of services?

I was supposed to get a case manager months ago. I filled out all the forms. It's thru Polk county but she has never replied. There's 60 client's to one person so I'll try again. But it's a very unstable program. How do I get a hospital social worker? I'm not sure but I think I need Medicaid for that. Do I get one thru my family Dr. Maria.

I was supposed to get a case manager months ago. I filled out all the forms. It's thru Polk county but she has never replied. There's 60 client's to one person so I'll try again. But it's a very unstable program. How do I get a hospital social worker? I'm not sure but I think I need Medicaid for that. Do I get one thru my family Dr. Maria.

@mariajean03
Maria, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. You are just in need of some help right now. Since no one in your life seems to want to help you, you need to help yourself, be your own best friend. Make a positive step right now and call your county case worker. See if she can take a little of her valuable time and give you some positive advice. Next, call one of your "normal" siblings and talk to them. Make them aware that you could use a little tender loving sibling care right now.

And lastly I would advise you to try to open lines of communication more with Jim. From what you say you sound like you have a lot of conflict and ambivalence about your relationship with him. He cares for you and you do appreciate him, yet he is distant emotionally and is addicted to porn, and you are thinking of divorcing him. Why not tell him that you want to talk about your relationship and your issues surrounding it. It sounds like you guys might benefit from having an open discussion about it if that is possible. There is nothing better for a relationship than open and frank discussion. Forgive me if I am overstepping any bounds. I just know that any issues I and my wife have had have always been resolved by talking them out. You mentioned something earlier about staying with him until he dies. Is he sick? Just trying to flesh out the whole picture.

All my best to you Maria, Hank

He's 83 and not sick. I'm 61 and we have nothing in common but our Catholic faith. We have never laughed together. I'm craving physical affection and we've both seen many therapists. Just when I try to look @ the positives we fight again. Thanks for caring Frank. No change is in sight because he gets angry when I mention his prior porn addiction. We are alone for the Holidays which makes matters worse. I try to reach out to siblings but they say be happy you have a friend. Maria.

He's 83 and not sick. I'm 61 and we have nothing in common but our Catholic faith. We have never laughed together. I'm craving physical affection and we've both seen many therapists. Just when I try to look @ the positives we fight again. Thanks for caring Frank. No change is in sight because he gets angry when I mention his prior porn addiction. We are alone for the Holidays which makes matters worse. I try to reach out to siblings but they say be happy you have a friend. Maria.

He's 83 and not sick. I'm 61 and we have nothing in common but our Catholic faith. We have never laughed together. I'm craving physical affection and we've both seen many therapists. Just when I try to look @ the positives we fight again. Thanks for caring Frank. No change is in sight because he gets angry when I mention his prior porn addiction. We are alone for the Holidays which makes matters worse. I try to reach out to siblings but they say be happy you have a friend. Maria.

@mariajean03 It's hard when you open up to your siblings and they tell you to be happy with what you have. That is incredibly invalidating and I'm sure that you feel even more alone in those moments.

You are in a tough spot. It doesn't sound like you have anyone that is a consistent emotional support. I don't fully know your situation but your participating in Mayo Clinic Connect is likely incredibly beneficial to your well-being. I encourage you to keep reading, posting, and responding. I also encourage you to find creatively ways to attempt to have your needs met with the resources that you have, which I know are extremely limited.

The holidays can be hard, especially with COVID-19. I personally love to watch old Christmas movies like, "It's a Wonderful Life" and read, "A Christmas Carol." Do you have any happy holiday traditions you can do alone? Can you bake cookies and send to loved ones?

You mentioned that you would be alone for the holidays, I'm wondering if you will be able to video chat with friends/family?

Hi, Here in Indiana we have case workers and a mental health Philicity called Lifespring.Thats where I was going until this pandemic hit and now I talk to my people over the phone. If you need section 8 housing to be able to afford your own place to live. Reach out and get the number for a program like it in your community. Get a legal aid lawyer and get a divorce. Best thing I ever did.Of course i have a"Residual disability because of all the abuse I had to tolerate and endure. Its been 23 years since the big D took place and Im like a new person. I have to take medication to keep me stable and as normal as what normal is these days.They dont interfear with my freedom i jus have to rest alot and move slower then I use to bc of dizziesness when I stand up or lay down.ok I hope it helps/ take care. marcie

@mariajean03
Maria, the holidays can be especially difficult for many of us. It's certainly hardest for a person who is alone. Even though you and Jim share the same household your relationship is such that you feel effectively alone. I'm not sure if it would help you at all but I just want you to know that if you would like to reach out to someone in a less public way, you can always feel free to send me a private message. I can at least offer you my ears to listen. Please feel free to write to me whenever you feel the need and I guarantee I will listen and respond. Everyone should have someone they can talk to. Best to you, Hank