Is depression permanent?

@mariajean03 I was married for 18 yrs and would say the last ten years were the worst for I didn't know him anymore with his drinking nor did I know myself. I even was hospitalized, but when I could think clearly again I made a list of what I needed to do to proceed with the divorce and keep me safe. I also had the help of a good therapist to help keep me focused and grounded. Once I was sure in my head about the divorce I was able to move forward.
Stay strong!

@marjou I am so sorry about the fighting. I'm glad you are getting a divorce, but it's very hard. Come people say it's like going through a death. May you find peace and take care of yourself.

@mariajean03 Hi Maria, I'm sorry you are struggling. You have not gotten a divorce yet? Get brave and do it. Then you can start dating. I'm on Klonopin and usually just take it at night to help me sleep. I'm also on Lamictal and Lexapro. I was really fine until 2 months ago I had a 9 hour fusion back surgery from T-10 to my pelvis. Now I have been depressed and some anxiety. It's worse in the morning when I first get up and then I get better. Mine is also genetic and situational. My mom took her life at age 69. I'm going to be turning 69 on Friday. She was Manic Depressive or they call it Bipolar 1 now. My son has Bipolar 1 and is a professor, but cannot teach because of the mental illness.

Where do you live?. We live in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa. Do you have some friends that could help you? I know what it's like having siblings having no contact. My son, his wife, and my precious granddaughter. We have no contact with them. Part of it is my son's wife and part of it is the bipolar 1. His dad was verbally abusive to both of out children. My daughter went to a church that had groups that helped her forgive him. I am so sorry they have abandon you. What is the reason? Do you know?

I'm pretty lucky, there other grandmother, who lives in Chicago, sends me pictures of Marlowe and if they are visiting there she lets Marlowe skype with us, but they are not going there this summer, so I won't be able to skype with Marlowe. My son's wife is also a professor and they live in NYC and she does research and teaches.
I'm sorry I can't help you more, but I do understand how much you must hurt. Be strong.

We live in Des Moines also! He's got me down so much I tried ECT's. How awful that was. I'm working on a lawyer but can't afford to move out. So sad. Maria. Maybe we could meet. I don't drive but live close to Christ the King on 9th. I can get there. Maria.

I would love to learn more. Thanks. Maria.

My ex was a big gas lighter back in the early 80's. He kept me tore up over everything most of the time when I was married to him. We were together 12 years. When I look back on it now I think of how big of a fool I was for staying with him. Before I left him I felt like I had no one to turn to. We moved closer to where my family lived and I got out of the marriage that way. A year after the divorce was final I moved myself and my 3 children 30 minutes away from everybody I knew. I had a job already set up before we moved. I worked as a CNA for 4 years while raising my kids. I got tired of that work and went on unemployment. I studied for my GED and finally got brave enough to take the test and passed the first time. After that I enrolled in a college. I got accepted but it took me 8 years to complete my degree. I supported myself and my family with Pell grants and student loans. I had boyfriends along the way but no one would make a commitment to me. While I was attending college I tried working at the local Walgreens as well. One day I got the idea to sign up on E-harmony. My daughters were older and more responsible so I had more free time to pursue a relationship. I met a great guy in 2007 but I got sick and started having hallucinations His name is Bob and he started helping me pay my bills. I was 3 months behind with my house payments. He moved in with me in July of 2008. He explained to me that I could possibly have a mental illness because of the auditory hallucinations I was having. I didn’t have an easy time growing up. My father would tell me to shut up when I was learning how to talk and I didn’t develop normally. He was an abusive alcoholic and I lived in fear daily growing up. I started going to therapy in Aug 2008 and went on meds for schizoaffective disorder. It took many years for me to find the right combination of drugs to relieve the voices in my head. My kids are grown of course. I only have one grandchild and she will be 18 in Oct. My son made me a grandma at 38. I’m in a good place in my life at the moment.

I'm scared to death to get a divorce. We would still be living under the same roof due to financial reasons. Just want that divorce paper in my hands. Maria.

Everything is going to be allright.I went through that with my ex. He atarted attacking me one night. I was just so sick and tired of the way he had been treating me. When he finished beating me i called the cops and they took him away for the night. I found out later that he was on cocaine.The place we lived was payed for.He filed for divorce first. Me and the kids moved in with my sister and brother in law.for a while.Something inside of my thought he was bluffing about the divorce so I got an attourny through legal aid and had him served with divorce papers. I wanted to be rid of him once and for all times.

@mjpg2013 Bless Your heart and how brave. My husband was verbally abusive when our kids were growing up, to the kids and to me. I didn't know about verbal abuse and had no idea. He was really hard on our son, who is Bipolar 1, he was mentally ill growing up, but he never told us. We have no contact with him or his family, so I feel like I've lost a granddaughter. My counselor said most of it is from him being bipolar. Part of it is his wife. She's controlling him, but also taking care of him. He's a professor, but can't teach because of his bipolar.

@kelster69 I feel the same way you do and how frustrating, energy draining. My next step is to try MM ( medical marijuana) for I, too, don't know what to do or where else to go for help. Met with someone yesterday to start application process and wait 30 days for card. Am hoping to find PTSD therapist because lots of old trauma coming up for me during COVID.