Mayo Clinic Connect
Depression burst on my after extended pressureful work for long with little rest in 2007. Ever since I am drugs. My question, is depression permanent?
Liked by marjou
Two of my kids are bipolar. My ex only abused me. He is a good father for the most part although he never payed me a dime in child support.
My middle daughter and I talk a lot but my son and youngest daughter arent that close. I try to wait for them to contact me.
@mjpg2013 Bless Your heart and how brave. My husband was verbally abusive when our kids were growing up, to the kids and to me. I didn't know about verbal abuse and had no idea. He was really hard on our son, who is Bipolar 1, he was mentally ill growing up, but he never told us. We have no contact with him or his family, so I feel like I've lost a granddaughter. My counselor said most of it is from him being bipolar. Part of it is his wife. She's controlling him, but also taking care of him. He's a professor, but can't teach because of his bipolar.
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How could your so have told you, he didnt know he was different
@mjpg2013 My husband was raised with a verbal abusive dad, and uncle. They were farmers. He was driving tractors at age 10. He doesn't know what verbal abuse is or does now believe he does it. He's better now, but does lose his patients sometimes, but he was very verbal abusive to our 2 children and me as they grew up. My daughter asked me why I didn't divorce him. I told her I didn't know what was going on. She is ok now, by going to a special group at a church. So she has forgiven him. But, my son is bipolar 1 and we can't have any contact with them. His wife is great to help him, but I think she's the one mainly keeping him away from us. He is very smart and has his PHD, but can't teach because of his bipolar 1 and has it bad. Most of it is from the Bipolar 1 the reason we have no contact, but part is the way he was treated. He knew as a child he had mental illness, but didn't tell us. They have a 9 year old daughter, my only grandchild. If she's at her grandma's in Chicago she can skype with us, but they live in NYC. I have to mail all things for Marlowe to the Grandmother in Chicago and she forwards it to her. I haven't seen her since she was 3, but I do get pictures from the other grandmother. So sorry about you not having contact with some of your kids. Have you tried to contact them? It's hard, but all I can do is pray.
I'm sorry if I led you to believe I don't have contact with my kids. My son lost his license a few years ago and doesnt drive a lot. My middle daughter told me my son got a new cell phone number but he hasnt gave it to me yet. Hes probably busy working and sleeping most of the time.My youngest daughter works for the local post office or USPS.Her work hours are spiratic and long. One day she may get off at noon or have to work untill after 5 pm. She just moved into a house with her new boyfriend, so she is busy with her own life.I got to go to a new restaurant with my middle daughter and grandaughter not that long ago.So I see them a lot through out the year. We always get together during the holidays and have a meal together.
Everything is going to be allright.I went through that with my ex. He atarted attacking me one night. I was just so sick and tired of the way he had been treating me. When he finished beating me i called the cops and they took him away for the night. I found out later that he was on cocaine.The place we lived was payed for.He filed for divorce first. Me and the kids moved in with my sister and brother in law.for a while.Something inside of my thought he was bluffing about the divorce so I got an attourny through legal aid and had him served with divorce papers. I wanted to be rid of him once and for all times.
Thanks. I need to get a legal aid lawyer but am so depressed I can't concentrate on what he'd be saying! I have no one to help me. Maria.
Keep in touch with me and let me know what I can help you with. I will see what I can find out for you and if there is anything I can help you with I will let you know.
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director
Thanks. Maybe I'll have a priest talk to us first. There seems to be no hope for me. Divorced or not.
Ive been where you are. Ive always been told its always the darkest before the dawning.Maybe you could take a walk and think it over.Im sure you have run it through your head a thousand times.I know you are at your wits ends as to what to do next.I had my sister to rely on when I first seperated from my ex.I wish I knew what to say to you to help you feel better.Dont give up, you are strong enough to face anything. Once you get thrrough today everything will get better tomorrow.
@mariajean03 Yes, to talk with your Priest or a counselor that deals with divorce. I know it's hard. Letting go of a partner I have heard can be just like death, except he is alive. My niece and her husband got divorced and it was a big surprise to me. They had a lot of counseling, because they had a teenage daughter. She was cutting herself and having a hard time dealing with it so they had counseling with her too. We have mental illness that runs through our family. Take care of yourself I can't imagine what it must be like. Like Marcie said take one day at a time and I will pray you will get through this.
I will see if a priest can come over this week and talk to the both of us about divorce. Therapy is a waste because I have no desire to get closer. Thanks. Maria.
@mariajean03 There are counselors that help you through the process of divorce.
I'm my experience, it doesn't have to be a permanent state, I've had depression a couple different times and had full recovery each time. Most recently in 2010 for about a year, a had a .great therapist, minimal medication, daily meditation, life coach, and focused on my resources, was able to find how I had inner conflict w my main life values and lies I was believing
about my life. I was able to turn around to normal
Liked by Jim, Volunteer Mentor, Ginger, Volunteer Mentor, marjou
Take it one step at a time. Be kind to yourself, make a list everyday
I found it helpful to have several notebooks to keep running lists cause my memory was really affected and lists kept me on track. Make time for meditation but keep meditation positive,
Liked by Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
My understanding – and I've been at this for over 30 years – is that not all depression is permanent. Some depression is caused by a particular situation, like work, or tough going at home, and will be relieved when the situation resolves. Some depression is permanent, like mine. I have treatment-resistant depression caused by screwed up neurotransmitters in my brain; I am actually Bipolar II with depression the dominant force. I will always have this problem, but I have found a great psychiatrist and psychologist who have finally given me a diagnoses and helped me find the combination of drugs that works best for me. If I am qualified to give any advice, it would be for you to do the same. Find a psychiatrist and psychologist (both are very important) and work with them to handle your depression. There are answers out there, but you have to be persistent in finding them. Good luck to you.
Liked by Ginger, Volunteer Mentor, marjou, HankB
I was just taking part in a conversation about this in a group for people like me who are dealing with severe pain from neuropathy. Some of the people in that group might want to share their experience with depression. Hank @jesfactsmon will, I hope, join me here.
I went to an appointment with my pcp in 2002, and told him that what I was feeling could be depression, but I wanted to rule out any possible organic problems that could be causing me to feel tired all the time, feeling hopeless, becoming unable to function in my job. He prescribed Celexa (I think) that day, and we started doing a variety of tests, one being a sleep study, when I found that I had sleep apnea. After not very many nights with a cpap machine, I started feeling better. I was really sleep deprived, so I slept more than 12 hours a day for a month.
Over the next few years I found and dealt with several other physical problems, and I'd feel better for a while, but it didn't last. At an appointment in 2004, I asked my doctor if there was something cheaper than Celexa, and he said, "Sure. Prozac is cheap." That took me by surprise. I told him, that's an antidepressant! I hadn't understood that the Celexa I was taking was an antidepressant. So, Prozac it was. From then until late 2005, I tried a bunch of antidepressants, but nothing helped until I got to Wellbutrin.
Unfortunately, by that point even I could see that I was deeply depressed, and I made several suicide attempts by OD. My doctor had told me that if I ever needed to talk, just go to his office – no appointment necessary – and in November of '05, I drove the 50 miles to town and sat in his waiting room until he was done seeing patients. I told him how seriously depressed I was and that I had OD'd several times. My wife was with me, and she had no clue what I'd been going through. On his orders, I admitted myself to a facility that was 130 miles from home. We lived in a remote village of fewer than 250 people, 130 miles to any stores.
I stayed there for 6 weeks, though the norm is 3 days. I knew that if I left I'd be dead within hours.
I was in a deep, dark hole from '05 to '07. It took 3 years of therapy, discovery, medications to climb out, and around 5 more years to be safe. I wish it weren't so, but I still have times when my brain tells me that suicide is a rational solution for the way I feel.
So – I seem to take the long way around, getting to my point for writing – is depression permanent?
Doctors like to say that it's a treatable disease. But that doesn't really answer the question. Treatment can look very different to me than it does to you.
I think that part of the answer lies in understanding the cause of my depression. Some people are depressed during the rainy winter months, which is a form of depression called seasonal affective disorder. When the sun comes out and the first spring flowers bloom, depression lifts.
The main label the psychiatrist put on me after I got out of lockdown was Major Depressive Disorder, along with a few other disorders. That's a long term, chronic form of depression. Starting in January of '06, I met weekly with a psychologist, and for several months, I saw the psychiatrist weekly, as well. I was pretty far gone.
I have come to terms with the likelihood that I'll live with major depression the rest of my life, which means managing medications and having therapy. In the past 14 years, I've had 13 therapists. Not by choice, but because the town where I now live isn't big enough to keep therapists because they can make so much more money almost anywhere else. Add to that the fact that I have to find someone who accepts Medicare.
So, why are any of us depressed? I believe that finding the answer to that question will be important as to whether or not it will be permanent. But even knowing that it might be permanent doesn't mean that there's no hope. Over the past 14 years, I've taken time off from therapy two times. I felt that I was at a stable, safe place, and was OK just taking my meds. Then, when I found myself headed back toward that hole, a therapist would be available.
As @gingerw said, it takes hard work. And the process of finding the right antidepressant can be long and frustrating, and I know too well the feeling of wanting to give up. That kind of goes with the territory. And that's why groups like this can be literal lifesavers if we stay connected.
@rollinsk, and others, know today that you're not alone.
Jim. (I'll try not to write such long messages. But no guarantee.)
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Ginger, Volunteer Mentor, lorirenee1, marjou ... see all
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