1. < Mental Health

~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college .... well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

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Barb | @amberpep | Nov 9, 2019
In reply to @marjou "The fall season triggers some of these feelings for me. Do you have people you can..." + (show)
@marjou

The fall season triggers some of these feelings for me. Do you have people you can call? I have just put some music on to get me through this or go out for a short walk. Will try these suggestions myself today. I thank you for sharing for it lets me know that I'm not alone, but when one is going through these difficult feelings just getting out of bed is a struggle to challenge the day. You have reached out via this group and that is an ACCOMPLISHMENT!!

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Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid but I call Fall-death, and Winter is the tomb. I know how morbid that is but it's how I've felt for years. My x-husband only lives 25 min. from me and now has a girlfriend. That is really painful, even though we're divorced. I didn't ask for alimony because I had a large inheritance at the time, but, got caught up in a ponzi scheme and now I really have a tight budget. If it weren't for my son helping me out, I wouldn't make it. I hate the thought of living like this the rest of my life, but it is what it is. I'm sick of people saying "volunteer" ..... I just don't have the energy to do anything, some days even get out of bed. If it weren't for my dog I probably wouldn't. I don't have any friends down here except a lady at church, but she's very private and "stiff" if you know what I mean. My therapist I went to for 14 years is 3-1/2 hrs. away and busy, busy, busy, so I doubt he has much time for old clients. I wrote for an appt. and he didn't have any opening til Feb. I know the holidays are a busy time for them. I see my Psychiatrist every 4 months for about 10-15 min. which doesn't give much time to talk. Oh how I wish I had never moved down to this awful place. abby

REPLY
2 replies
Barb | @amberpep | Nov 11, 2019
In reply to @amberpep "Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid..." + (show)
@amberpep

Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid but I call Fall-death, and Winter is the tomb. I know how morbid that is but it's how I've felt for years. My x-husband only lives 25 min. from me and now has a girlfriend. That is really painful, even though we're divorced. I didn't ask for alimony because I had a large inheritance at the time, but, got caught up in a ponzi scheme and now I really have a tight budget. If it weren't for my son helping me out, I wouldn't make it. I hate the thought of living like this the rest of my life, but it is what it is. I'm sick of people saying "volunteer" ..... I just don't have the energy to do anything, some days even get out of bed. If it weren't for my dog I probably wouldn't. I don't have any friends down here except a lady at church, but she's very private and "stiff" if you know what I mean. My therapist I went to for 14 years is 3-1/2 hrs. away and busy, busy, busy, so I doubt he has much time for old clients. I wrote for an appt. and he didn't have any opening til Feb. I know the holidays are a busy time for them. I see my Psychiatrist every 4 months for about 10-15 min. which doesn't give much time to talk. Oh how I wish I had never moved down to this awful place. abby

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I can't thank you all enough for sharing your struggles and hearts with me. Knowing I'm not alone in these feelings makes them so much more bearable. Sometimes I think I believe I'm the only one going through this. Yes, I did get a note back from my X about the book .... it was actually very gentle (I think he knows I'm falling apart) and he told me he'd just like to have a good, friendly, relationship with me. With a clearer thinking mind this morning, I realize just how much this Bipolar 2 affects me. When I see my Psychiatrist I'm going to talk to him about it. Maybe a change in meds. is necessary. The coming on of winter doesn't help either .... my most dreaded season.
I realize that every morning it's hard to get out of bed, and it's not because I'm tired ..... I just don't want to face another day. But, when you have pets, you have to get up ..... that's a good thing......it pushes me to get up and get moving.
One thing my X did tell me was that there apparently is a group in the area called "People meeting People" which is for new residents. I'm going to find out about that and if it sounds like me, I'm going to give it a try.
I think a change in churches is in order too, but I won't go into all that.
I just want to thank you all for your help. Just knowing you all are there, and I have a place to go when those black times come, is a real comfort to me.
abby

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Nov 11, 2019
In reply to @amberpep "Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid..." + (show)
@amberpep

Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid but I call Fall-death, and Winter is the tomb. I know how morbid that is but it's how I've felt for years. My x-husband only lives 25 min. from me and now has a girlfriend. That is really painful, even though we're divorced. I didn't ask for alimony because I had a large inheritance at the time, but, got caught up in a ponzi scheme and now I really have a tight budget. If it weren't for my son helping me out, I wouldn't make it. I hate the thought of living like this the rest of my life, but it is what it is. I'm sick of people saying "volunteer" ..... I just don't have the energy to do anything, some days even get out of bed. If it weren't for my dog I probably wouldn't. I don't have any friends down here except a lady at church, but she's very private and "stiff" if you know what I mean. My therapist I went to for 14 years is 3-1/2 hrs. away and busy, busy, busy, so I doubt he has much time for old clients. I wrote for an appt. and he didn't have any opening til Feb. I know the holidays are a busy time for them. I see my Psychiatrist every 4 months for about 10-15 min. which doesn't give much time to talk. Oh how I wish I had never moved down to this awful place. abby

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@amberpep Fall and winter can be very difficult. The doctor suggested that I use like therapy. There are many different “tools” but he suggested a LiteBook. It’s about the size of a paperback book and I use it for about 30 minutes a day. SO much better than increasing my medication! It works well. Becky

REPLY
2 replies
Barb | @amberpep | Nov 13, 2019
In reply to @becsbuddy "@amberpep Fall and winter can be very difficult. The doctor suggested that I use like therapy...." + (show)
@becsbuddy

@amberpep Fall and winter can be very difficult. The doctor suggested that I use like therapy. There are many different “tools” but he suggested a LiteBook. It’s about the size of a paperback book and I use it for about 30 minutes a day. SO much better than increasing my medication! It works well. Becky

Jump to this post

Well, here comes the "whiner" again. I'm sorry. I know I've probably said this a hundred times to you all, but it was a big mistake to move here from my real home city. I hate it here. I don't leave my apartment because it's too dangerous. I take my dog out, and get the mail and a few groceries, but that's about it. I'm soon to be 75, can't find a part-time job, must make a change in churches as my usual one (denominationally) to something bigger where I might be able to meet people and I'm not so alone. Half the time I don't even get dressed ... just sit in my nightgown and bathrobe. I thought of spending a few weeks in Frederick with a girlfriend and seeing my therapist several times, but he doesn't have any appts. til way after the holidays. This time of year is rough on a lot of people. Oh well, such it is.
abby

REPLY
1 reply
Moderator
Lisa Lucier, Moderator | @lisalucier | Nov 16, 2019
In reply to @amberpep "Well, here comes the "whiner" again. I'm sorry. I know I've probably said this a hundred..." + (show)
@amberpep

Well, here comes the "whiner" again. I'm sorry. I know I've probably said this a hundred times to you all, but it was a big mistake to move here from my real home city. I hate it here. I don't leave my apartment because it's too dangerous. I take my dog out, and get the mail and a few groceries, but that's about it. I'm soon to be 75, can't find a part-time job, must make a change in churches as my usual one (denominationally) to something bigger where I might be able to meet people and I'm not so alone. Half the time I don't even get dressed ... just sit in my nightgown and bathrobe. I thought of spending a few weeks in Frederick with a girlfriend and seeing my therapist several times, but he doesn't have any appts. til way after the holidays. This time of year is rough on a lot of people. Oh well, such it is.
abby

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@amberpep - thinking of you. I think you were seriously looking at options for moving back to Maryland, is that correct? Is that still something you are considering?

How is your dog?

REPLY
Moderator
Lisa Lucier, Moderator | @lisalucier | Nov 22, 2019
In reply to @kdo0827 "It can be so frustrating trying to find something that will help. I’ve finally found that..." + (show)
@kdo0827

It can be so frustrating trying to find something that will help. I’ve finally found that a combination of Cymbalta and Adderral help. I still don’t have any desire to get out and go places but some of that is related to my chronic pain. Normally after I do get out I enjoy things but it’s like pulling teeth(I was a dental practice manager) to get me out. The Adderral has made a big difference in my energy level and it makes me feel good to accomplish things during my day. You’ve certainly had a lot to deal with. Have you tried Cymbalta or Adderral?

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Hi, @kdo0827 - thinking of you today and wondering how things are going?

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smilie | @smilie | Nov 25, 2019
In reply to @becsbuddy "@amberpep Fall and winter can be very difficult. The doctor suggested that I use like therapy...." + (show)
@becsbuddy

@amberpep Fall and winter can be very difficult. The doctor suggested that I use like therapy. There are many different “tools” but he suggested a LiteBook. It’s about the size of a paperback book and I use it for about 30 minutes a day. SO much better than increasing my medication! It works well. Becky

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Hi. I’m sitting by my S.A.D. Lamp. I have my DBT work book to work on and I’m in physical pain because of Arthritis and it’s damp out and I’m depressed and I feel like crying 😭 and going back to sleep!!!! I hate this!!!!

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smilie | @smilie | Nov 25, 2019

What is cognitive behaviour?

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1 reply
Moderator
Lisa Lucier, Moderator | @lisalucier | Nov 26, 2019
In reply to @smilie "What is cognitive behaviour?" + (show)
@smilie

What is cognitive behaviour?

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@smilie - is this perhaps what you were referring to when you mentioned cognitive behavior https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610?

If you've not had the chance to check out this rheumatoid arthritis discussion on Connect, @smilie, I'd encourage you to do so https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/rheumatoid-arthritis-ra-introduce-yourself-and-meet-others.

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2 replies
smilie | @smilie | Nov 26, 2019
In reply to @lisalucier "@smilie - is this perhaps what you were referring to when you mentioned cognitive behavior https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610?..." + (show)
@lisalucier

@smilie - is this perhaps what you were referring to when you mentioned cognitive behavior https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610?

If you've not had the chance to check out this rheumatoid arthritis discussion on Connect, @smilie, I'd encourage you to do so https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/rheumatoid-arthritis-ra-introduce-yourself-and-meet-others.

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Why connect to rheumatoid arthritis? What does that have to do with Cognitive Behaviour?

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