~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college .... well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

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smilie | @smilie | Sep 30, 2019

In reply to @kimspr3 "I hope I made sense??" + (show)

You did very much! Thank you!

kimspr3 | @kimspr3 | Oct 1, 2019

In reply to @smilie "This is “family”. They seem to be the worst people to trust. “He” caused such grief..." + (show)

Hi smile, try with all your heart to put them in the back of your mind. Thinking of them makes them win and I know you don't want that. My sister-in-law broke my family apart to the point I never see my niece and nephews since 2003. Cruel to my mother. When my deceased brother met her my entire family warned him including my parents, friends. Comes from a very wealthy family, only child, thats a good picture of her. In order for them not to win push those painful thoughts away it will only make you feel worse. It works.

smilie | @smilie | Oct 1, 2019

In reply to @kimspr3 "Hi smile, try with all your heart to put them in the back of your mind...." + (show)

I’m so very sorry to hear that! I’m trying so very hard not to think about them!!!! It’s not easy!!!! Gail was always a good sister but not anymore. I still have my eldest sister, Pearl and I’m the youngest. I have my wonderful niece and her family and a good friend!

smilie | @smilie | Oct 1, 2019

In reply to @hopeful33250 "Hello @smilie @parus and @amberpep provided some good thoughts in their posts to you. You might..." + (show)

Thank you for your thoughts. I’m not sure of what I want to do because I’m still not feeling well. The depression along with the medicine wipes me out.

Barb | @amberpep | Oct 1, 2019

In reply to @dianrib "Hubby & I worked .saved,,, did well for years, them his work cut his pension. He..." + (show)

Hi again dianrib .... I was just re-reading some of the older posts (old memory needs jogging!) and I re-read this one about you and your husband and how hard you worked and saved. Yes, there's a lot about things today, both nationally and internationally, that are very disconcerting. So, now I watch the news only in the AM for about 30 min. and the rest of the day they all repeat the same thing over and over and over. I think I'd probably jump out of my skin if I heard all that all day. No, things aren't the same as when we were kids ... that's for sure. I often wonder what it will be like when my grandkids are adults (I'm 74). My financial history has me in the same boat you're in only it happened differently. My father died and left me a substantial inheritance. On the advice of a friend, I placed it all with an Investment Counselor, who apparently was "less than honest." He was running some sort of a ponzi scheme, and well .... you guessed it, my investments began to plummet. Fortunately, I caught it before it hit "0" but there's not a lot left. Yes, I worry about it, some days more than others, but I know my kids won't let me starve. There's a lot of things about our government that I find problematic also, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. Yes, there's crooked people working in every large company, corporation, and the government. That's where it usually affects us the most and is most visible to anyone who reads, listens to the news, or is in touch with things going on around them.
Life is tough, and some days I just am fighting mad, other days I'm so far in the dumps that I can't see over the edge, but it is what it is .... I can only do my little portion, and the rest I just have to leave up to God (or depending on your faith, your "higher power.")
What I can't change, I just have to learn to live with.
Take care of yourself my friend,
abby

Barb | @amberpep | Oct 1, 2019

Hi smilie .... I re-read your post, and it really hit home with me. I was married for 43 years to a Narcissist. He also was verbally abusive and demeaning, I was "stupid and irrational," I was too fat (5'8" and 145 at the time), nothing I did was right, he never complimented me on anything - meals, clothing, hair. When out 3 kids were young I used to wear my hair in what they then called a "pixie" ...... he hated it and called me "pinhead." He talked to the kids behind my back about me, which I never knew until we were divorced and my son told me, and so much more. Basically, he was and is a Narcissist. I kept thinking, "I can't leave" because deep inside I believed what he said was true. I got so deep in depression that one Thursday, my therapist said to me, "I'm going to be perfectly honest with you .... you either have to get out of there tonight, or I'm going to have to have you admitted to (name of local, private psychiatric hospital). "It just so happened" that only the Sunday before a girlfriend from my church told me that she had a bedroom with its own bath that I could use, plus the kitchen, if I needed one. Well, I knew that was God's message to me, so I got to my car and asked her if the offer was still open. It was and I was there by Saturday PM. And ...... that night was the first good nights sleep I'd had in many months. Narcissists are usually very bright, manipulative, and always want you to "know" how superior they are to everyone else, particularly their mate.
abby

smilie | @smilie | Oct 1, 2019

In reply to @amberpep "Hi smilie .... I re-read your post, and it really hit home with me. I was..." + (show)

I’m glad that you are out! It feels good to away from people who are mean!!!! I’m still getting over the move. The woman is technically my sister and her “husband”, both names I cannot speak especially his!!!! They live over seas and are coming here October 6th for one month and I refuse to see them ever again especially him!!!! How sad!!!!

smilie | @smilie | Oct 1, 2019

In reply to @amberpep "Hi again dianrib .... I was just re-reading some of the older posts (old memory needs..." + (show)

@amberpep

Jump to this post

Something similar happened to me only it involved family, a sister and her husband and yes they denied it!!!! Crooks!!!!

kimspr3 | @kimspr3 | Oct 2, 2019

In reply to @smilie "Hi. Thank you for this wonderful advice!!!!! I will try it, but I’m still afraid to..." + (show)

Smile it takes time to change what was your life. Things don't happen over night. I read somewhere that some therapist will go out with you for support? Have you ever thought of volunteering at a children hospital? They are so comfortable to be with and don't judge you. Just a thought. Be Positive, take it slow.