~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by .harp player @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I’m 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I’m just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don’t have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there’s not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there’s enough), and my son sends me money each month. I’m sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I’m thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I’d have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they’re all on line now), and legally they’re not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college …. well, it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I’m so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

@amberpep Hi again its been a while since we talked last. I noticed your recent question and i did have something similar a while back. My wife actually suggest freezing a bottle of water like the common size we drink from about a pint and i would roll it on the ground with the bottom of my foot. It worked after a few days it was back to normal. I found this article which kinda hints at it using stretching and ice.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/plantar-fasciitis/symptoms-causes/syc-20354846
I also wonder if maybe there is a community garden that may allow people to have some room to plant? I know my town does so it may be an option.
Have a Blessed Day
Dana

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@amberpep

Right now I live in a low-income apartment – no place for gardening. I will be moving to the Senior building which is cheaper and about half the size of this one (also no place to garden). I am trying really hard to get used to living down here, but I think all I can do is just resign myself that it's a fact. I recognize it was a mistake to move from my home in MD, but done is done and I absolutely must adjust, hard though it is. I've seen more confederate flags than I care to even think about. If I had the money I would move back, but …. that's not reality. I'm 75, in excellent health, looking for a job. My 2 grown daughters live down here, and my son lives outside of D.C. I see one of my daughters maybe once a week and that's OK for them as they have families. I hate the thought of moving into the Senior Building as most of them, from what I've observed, just sit and gossip about other residents. It's too easy for a woman to get caught up in that, and I don't want to. I've not found a church yet, but I've got 2 I'm interested in.
abby

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@amberpep Living in a senior building doesn’t have to be bad. YOU could liven it up! Start a “happy hour” (minus the booze!) or an art group. My mother started a sewing group and everyone brought their mending. And, you could teach them about MayoCinicConnect! And start a current events group or help with the upcoming elections! Have you got some other ideas?

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@amberpep

This is a medical question and I'm not sure where it should go, so I'll put it here to start. I have got plantar fasciitis in my right heel. I've been wearing all my shoes with those rubber things you get at the drug store, and that helps as long as I keep shoes on. I'm a "barefoot runner or sock runner" in the apartment and I'm sure this is how I did it. Anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to heal this besides the shoe inserts? Thanks much.
abby

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@amberpep, I have recurring issues with plantar fasciitis. Things that help me:
– always wear shoes with support indoors and outdoors. My house shoes are Birkenstocks. I don't go barefoot or sockfooted.
– diligent stretching
– self massage with a frozen water bottle. I roll it back in forth under my foot for 15-20 minutes periodically throughout the day.

Liked by fiesty76

REPLY
@amberpep

This is a medical question and I'm not sure where it should go, so I'll put it here to start. I have got plantar fasciitis in my right heel. I've been wearing all my shoes with those rubber things you get at the drug store, and that helps as long as I keep shoes on. I'm a "barefoot runner or sock runner" in the apartment and I'm sure this is how I did it. Anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to heal this besides the shoe inserts? Thanks much.
abby

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I suggest you see podiatrist (foot doctor). I did for same reason and I had inserts made for shoes, but some shoes are better than others like Clark's or Vionic which can be found on QVC shopping network. Good luck.

Liked by fiesty76

REPLY
@amberpep

Right now I live in a low-income apartment – no place for gardening. I will be moving to the Senior building which is cheaper and about half the size of this one (also no place to garden). I am trying really hard to get used to living down here, but I think all I can do is just resign myself that it's a fact. I recognize it was a mistake to move from my home in MD, but done is done and I absolutely must adjust, hard though it is. I've seen more confederate flags than I care to even think about. If I had the money I would move back, but …. that's not reality. I'm 75, in excellent health, looking for a job. My 2 grown daughters live down here, and my son lives outside of D.C. I see one of my daughters maybe once a week and that's OK for them as they have families. I hate the thought of moving into the Senior Building as most of them, from what I've observed, just sit and gossip about other residents. It's too easy for a woman to get caught up in that, and I don't want to. I've not found a church yet, but I've got 2 I'm interested in.
abby

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@amberpep I, too, don't like to be around gossips and looking for a church. Wish you luck and keep us posted on your successes.

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@amberpep

Right now I live in a low-income apartment – no place for gardening. I will be moving to the Senior building which is cheaper and about half the size of this one (also no place to garden). I am trying really hard to get used to living down here, but I think all I can do is just resign myself that it's a fact. I recognize it was a mistake to move from my home in MD, but done is done and I absolutely must adjust, hard though it is. I've seen more confederate flags than I care to even think about. If I had the money I would move back, but …. that's not reality. I'm 75, in excellent health, looking for a job. My 2 grown daughters live down here, and my son lives outside of D.C. I see one of my daughters maybe once a week and that's OK for them as they have families. I hate the thought of moving into the Senior Building as most of them, from what I've observed, just sit and gossip about other residents. It's too easy for a woman to get caught up in that, and I don't want to. I've not found a church yet, but I've got 2 I'm interested in.
abby

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@amberpep I live in a Senior low income building as far as gardening I do apt gardening veggies grow very well in deep pots I have sweet potatoes and beets now have flowers also .You can make your life like you want in apt.I have a couple of friends that don't gossip so you can see what you want you don't have to mingle with those who gossip

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@colleenyoung

@amberpep, I have recurring issues with plantar fasciitis. Things that help me:
– always wear shoes with support indoors and outdoors. My house shoes are Birkenstocks. I don't go barefoot or sockfooted.
– diligent stretching
– self massage with a frozen water bottle. I roll it back in forth under my foot for 15-20 minutes periodically throughout the day.

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Thanks Colleen …. well, that's probably my problem …. I am always barefooted!
abby

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@marjou

I suggest you see podiatrist (foot doctor). I did for same reason and I had inserts made for shoes, but some shoes are better than others like Clark's or Vionic which can be found on QVC shopping network. Good luck.

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@marjou, I bought some "off-the-shelf" inserts at a sporting goods store for my walking tennis shoes. A mistake; prescribed and specially made would have been so much better. Eventually found 2 brands of tennis shoes that worked, bottom came unglued so tossed that pr and the brand name has worn away in the current pr. Hope a shoe store can identify the brand when replacement pr is needed.

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@lioness

@amberpep I live in a Senior low income building as far as gardening I do apt gardening veggies grow very well in deep pots I have sweet potatoes and beets now have flowers also .You can make your life like you want in apt.I have a couple of friends that don't gossip so you can see what you want you don't have to mingle with those who gossip

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@lioness, Linda, you are much more successful with your indoor gardening than I! A tiny bit green with a touch of envy if allowed??? Yes, I steer away from gossips and nay sayers, too. I've said for years that for me there are 2 broad categories of people: those that bring you down and those that make life better. Why waste time and emotional energy on those who make you feel worse???

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One of the volunteer mentors, @sueinmn, made a post about how she helps herself cope with things, and shared what her daughter was also taught. While this was in the group talking about walking [and you know how it is, we often morph into different topics!], it is a good reminder of how we can change our reactions and thinking patterns.

Here is the link to that post:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lets-go-walking-join-me-for-a-virtual-walking-support-group/?pg=146#comment-421507
And here are her words:
"Here are the "5 things for 5 senses" it came down from my daughter's therapist when she was struggling. The point is to be "in the present" – what you are experiencing at the moment. Needless to say, try to concentrate on positive imagery.
What I see
What I hear
What I feel (like wind, sunlight, etc OR what I feel emotionally in this moment)
What I smell
What I taste (hardest – I often save it for mealtime)
Here is another exercise that I call "Own it and Let it Go." I use it in anxious/stressful situations.
When confronted with an unpleasant feeling, smell, sight:
I feel [angry that person is not wearing a mask in the store.] I need to remember [he may have a health condition, and that I cannot control anyone else's behavior.] I will [keep my distance, be extra polite to the staff who have to deal with him & get out of here as quickly as I can.] (Deep breath & let it go. Mentally picture your favorite thing)
I feel [anxious] waiting for my test results. I will get my answer [in two days] and then deal with it. Until then I will concentrate on [writing a memoir for my grandson.] (Deep breath…)
I feel [annoyed when I see my neighbor's messy yard.] My neighbor [either doesn't care about yards or has other issues more important to tend.] I will concentrate on [enjoying my own yard] or thinking about [how friendly she is when she sees me.]
I feel [irritated that my daughter hasn't called.] I can [call/text her to be sure she is okay] then find something productive to do. I understand [she is busy helping her sister & working.] I will concentrate on [what a terrific Auntie she is.]
You get the idea. I hope this helps too. Have a great day."

Thank you so much, Sue, for this!
Ginger

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@fiesty76

@lioness, Linda, you are much more successful with your indoor gardening than I! A tiny bit green with a touch of envy if allowed??? Yes, I steer away from gossips and nay sayers, too. I've said for years that for me there are 2 broad categories of people: those that bring you down and those that make life better. Why waste time and emotional energy on those who make you feel worse???

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@fiesty76. You are so right I try to stay away from gossip and negativity altogether. Time for chair exercises.In 90,s all week 100,s weekend so those days I,LL stay in

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@colleenyoung

@amberpep, I have recurring issues with plantar fasciitis. Things that help me:
– always wear shoes with support indoors and outdoors. My house shoes are Birkenstocks. I don't go barefoot or sockfooted.
– diligent stretching
– self massage with a frozen water bottle. I roll it back in forth under my foot for 15-20 minutes periodically throughout the day.

Jump to this post

Hi Colleen …. That is one thing I have always been guilty of …. running around barefoot or sock-footed. I guess now I'm paying for it. I have found that one of the styles of Merrell to which I add one of those rubber forms for p.f. works really well for me. I'll have to look at the Birkies …. are they the ones like sandles? or is it another style. It sure takes getting used to to be wearing real shoes all day when I've virtually lived barefooted. Getting out of bed in the AM is the worst … yeowee! What stretches do you do? I'll have to try the iced water bottle thing. Thanks for the information. Let me know about the Birkies.
abby

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Well, I found another job …. a cashier at our Lowes store, right behind me. That will get me out of the house during the day and get my brain doing more than thinking about how much I dislike it down here and worrying about all the things going on in the country. I'm grateful for them to hire an old lady!
abby

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@fiesty76

@marjou, I bought some "off-the-shelf" inserts at a sporting goods store for my walking tennis shoes. A mistake; prescribed and specially made would have been so much better. Eventually found 2 brands of tennis shoes that worked, bottom came unglued so tossed that pr and the brand name has worn away in the current pr. Hope a shoe store can identify the brand when replacement pr is needed.

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Hi fiesty … I too found 2 types of sneakers that work even without an insert, although I do put one in anyhow. I have a pair of really good NIKE's and also a pair of ASCICS. They are great.
abby

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@amberpep

Well, I found another job …. a cashier at our Lowes store, right behind me. That will get me out of the house during the day and get my brain doing more than thinking about how much I dislike it down here and worrying about all the things going on in the country. I'm grateful for them to hire an old lady!
abby

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@amberpep Glad to hear you have a job now that will help you financially as well as seeing other people maybe a buddy out of it

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