1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

imallears | @imallears | Jun 25, 2019
In reply to @karen00 "@imallears Hi Fl Mary. I understand about choosing oldest to newest, but that doesn’t explain why..." + (show)
@karen00

@imallears Hi Fl Mary. I understand about choosing oldest to newest, but that doesn’t explain why those posts aren’t sent to my email.

Jump to this post

@karenn00

Hi,

Only NEW posts are sent . You don’t want pages of old posts sent to your mail every time someone posts a comment. especially if you are following more than one group. That would be redundant. You can view any old posts on any group once you log on.

Hope that makes sense.

FL Mary

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jul 22, 2019

Not exactly a belly laugh but.......

A man wants a pet

A man wants a pet. So he visits his local pet shop and inquires .

Man: “I want an obedient pet. One that would do anything I ask of it no matter what”.
The store clerk: “I know exactly what you need”.

The clerk steps out back for a few minutes and returns with a tiny box containing a centipede.

Man: “A centipede, really?”
Clerk: “Yes, trust me”
Man: “Sold!”

The man takes his new pet back home and immediately starts giving orders.

Man: “I am going to go cook in the kitchen. I would like you to clean this entire living room. Make it spic and span.”

After the man finished cooking and eating, he returns to his living in the most well-kept state it has ever been. Dusting, organizing, and everything in between was taken care of. He is amazed.

Man: “Okay, that was really cool. Now I want you to do the same for the kitchen”

After relaxing on the couch, he checks on the kitchen to find it in a perfect state of cleanliness as well. He just couldn’t believe how amazing this centipede was.

One Sunday morning, he tasks the centipede to go out and get the newspaper. The centipede steps outside to fetch it.

10 minutes go by...
30 minutes...
1 hour...

Impatient and confused, the man steps outside to see the centipede still at the front of the door with no newspaper

Man: “Where’s my newspaper?! It’s been an hour!!”
Centipede: “I AM STILL PUTTING MY SHOES ON!!!”

REPLY
2 replies
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jul 22, 2019

I find it helps to organize household chores into categories,
1 Things I won’t do now
2 Things I won’t do later
3 Things I will never do

REPLY
imallears | @imallears | Jul 22, 2019
In reply to @jakedduck1 "Not exactly a belly laugh but....... A man wants a pet A man wants a pet...." + (show)
@jakedduck1

Not exactly a belly laugh but.......

A man wants a pet

A man wants a pet. So he visits his local pet shop and inquires .

Man: “I want an obedient pet. One that would do anything I ask of it no matter what”.
The store clerk: “I know exactly what you need”.

The clerk steps out back for a few minutes and returns with a tiny box containing a centipede.

Man: “A centipede, really?”
Clerk: “Yes, trust me”
Man: “Sold!”

The man takes his new pet back home and immediately starts giving orders.

Man: “I am going to go cook in the kitchen. I would like you to clean this entire living room. Make it spic and span.”

After the man finished cooking and eating, he returns to his living in the most well-kept state it has ever been. Dusting, organizing, and everything in between was taken care of. He is amazed.

Man: “Okay, that was really cool. Now I want you to do the same for the kitchen”

After relaxing on the couch, he checks on the kitchen to find it in a perfect state of cleanliness as well. He just couldn’t believe how amazing this centipede was.

One Sunday morning, he tasks the centipede to go out and get the newspaper. The centipede steps outside to fetch it.

10 minutes go by...
30 minutes...
1 hour...

Impatient and confused, the man steps outside to see the centipede still at the front of the door with no newspaper

Man: “Where’s my newspaper?! It’s been an hour!!”
Centipede: “I AM STILL PUTTING MY SHOES ON!!!”

Jump to this post

@jakeduck
A hearty chuckle from me...
a chuckle, a laugh, a tall giraffe just brightens my day in the best possible way.
I just made that up!

FL Mary

REPLY
Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Jul 23, 2019
In reply to @jakedduck1 "Not exactly a belly laugh but....... A man wants a pet A man wants a pet...." + (show)
@jakedduck1

Not exactly a belly laugh but.......

A man wants a pet

A man wants a pet. So he visits his local pet shop and inquires .

Man: “I want an obedient pet. One that would do anything I ask of it no matter what”.
The store clerk: “I know exactly what you need”.

The clerk steps out back for a few minutes and returns with a tiny box containing a centipede.

Man: “A centipede, really?”
Clerk: “Yes, trust me”
Man: “Sold!”

The man takes his new pet back home and immediately starts giving orders.

Man: “I am going to go cook in the kitchen. I would like you to clean this entire living room. Make it spic and span.”

After the man finished cooking and eating, he returns to his living in the most well-kept state it has ever been. Dusting, organizing, and everything in between was taken care of. He is amazed.

Man: “Okay, that was really cool. Now I want you to do the same for the kitchen”

After relaxing on the couch, he checks on the kitchen to find it in a perfect state of cleanliness as well. He just couldn’t believe how amazing this centipede was.

One Sunday morning, he tasks the centipede to go out and get the newspaper. The centipede steps outside to fetch it.

10 minutes go by...
30 minutes...
1 hour...

Impatient and confused, the man steps outside to see the centipede still at the front of the door with no newspaper

Man: “Where’s my newspaper?! It’s been an hour!!”
Centipede: “I AM STILL PUTTING MY SHOES ON!!!”

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1 Glad you’re back!!

REPLY
bobbyboomer | @bobbyboomer | Jul 24, 2019

Well, I'm new here, so I don't have the time to go through all 15 pages. I hope hard of hearing jokes are OK, and I hope this one hasn't made it in the thread yet.

A guy goes to the ENT and gets new, state-of-the-art, hearing aids. They are a real breakthrough in technology and cost a small fortune.

He goes back to the ENT a week later to get them adjusted and the doc asks him, "How do you like them?"

The patient answers, "They're great, I can hear every word everybody says!"

So the doc continues, "I'll bet your family is excited about this too."

The patient responds, "I haven't told them yet, but I've changed my will three times."

---

Bob

REPLY
1 reply
2011panc | @2011panc | Aug 10, 2019

As I have been reminded, I have been remiss in keeping up with this page. Here is an entry for today:
Two city workers stood looking up at the top of a flagpole. A woman came out of the fabric shop and asked them what they were doing. The responded that they were ordered to find out the height of the flagpole but the did not have a ladder. The woman took charge and told one of them to hand her a wrench from their toolbox. Then she removed the bolts from the bottom of the flagpole, laid it down, helped herself to the tape measure from the toolbox and measured the length of the flagpole. "Forty-nine feet, six inches" she reported, handing them the wrench, bolts and tape measure.
The city workers looked after her shaking their heads. Then one of them said, "Isn't that just like a woman, you ask for the height and they give you the length!"

REPLY
2 replies
smilie | @smilie | Aug 10, 2019
In reply to @2011panc "As I have been reminded, I have been remiss in keeping up with this page. Here..." + (show)
@2011panc

As I have been reminded, I have been remiss in keeping up with this page. Here is an entry for today:
Two city workers stood looking up at the top of a flagpole. A woman came out of the fabric shop and asked them what they were doing. The responded that they were ordered to find out the height of the flagpole but the did not have a ladder. The woman took charge and told one of them to hand her a wrench from their toolbox. Then she removed the bolts from the bottom of the flagpole, laid it down, helped herself to the tape measure from the toolbox and measured the length of the flagpole. "Forty-nine feet, six inches" she reported, handing them the wrench, bolts and tape measure.
The city workers looked after her shaking their heads. Then one of them said, "Isn't that just like a woman, you ask for the height and they give you the length!"

Jump to this post

Thank you for sharing that, it was really funny!

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Aug 11, 2019
In reply to @2011panc "As I have been reminded, I have been remiss in keeping up with this page. Here..." + (show)
@2011panc

As I have been reminded, I have been remiss in keeping up with this page. Here is an entry for today:
Two city workers stood looking up at the top of a flagpole. A woman came out of the fabric shop and asked them what they were doing. The responded that they were ordered to find out the height of the flagpole but the did not have a ladder. The woman took charge and told one of them to hand her a wrench from their toolbox. Then she removed the bolts from the bottom of the flagpole, laid it down, helped herself to the tape measure from the toolbox and measured the length of the flagpole. "Forty-nine feet, six inches" she reported, handing them the wrench, bolts and tape measure.
The city workers looked after her shaking their heads. Then one of them said, "Isn't that just like a woman, you ask for the height and they give you the length!"

Jump to this post

@2011panc
Hey 2011,
Welcome back here. We really appreciate your contributions. I have been remiss too.
Jake

REPLY
cre8vtype | @cre8vtype | Aug 12, 2019

Couldn’t agree with you more about laughter!! I USED to be a very funny person, and while I sort of still am, it’s hard to focus on laughter when the entire world is so serious!! (Bc laughter is so much better shared). It’s truly taken for granted, in spite of it’s amazing healing powers

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